During an appearance on QVC in 1995, Rob Paulsen (Yakko, Scratchansniff,
Pinky) commented that one of the highlights of the upcoming season of
Animaniacs was a song in which Dot writes a love letter to Newt Gingrich.
The song was recorded, but never storyboarded or orchestrated. (The songs
are performed to piano accompaniment. Only after animation is completed
would they be orchestrated.) It was meant to be a standalone part of
episode 77. There is a brief side-reference to the song in The Sound
of Warners (episode 78) where we hear Dot mumble "Mmm, Newt
Gingrich..." in her sleep.
Here is the original screenplay for this cartoon:
"DEAR MISTER GINGRICH"
A Song by Randy Rogel
FADE IN:
INT. DOT'S ROOM - CLOSE ON BEDROOM WALL PHOTOS
MUSICAL INTERLUDE IN.
As the music intro plays under the following, Camera is CLOSE ON
an 8x10 headshot of Robert Redford, hanging on Dot's bedroom
wall. The handwritten inscription reads, "To Dot, All the best"
and is signed "Robert Redford".
CAMERA PANS RIGHT along the wall to the next picture which is a
headshot of Paul newman, reading "Dear Dot, Warmest Regards" and
is signed "Paul Newman". Next is Mel Gibson and then Tom Cruise.
CAMERA CONTINUES PANNING and holds on a picture of NEWT GINGRICH.
CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal we are looking at the cover of Time
Magazine with Newt's picture on the cover. His name is in the
caption. Newt's picture suddenly begins to wheel around as we
realize this is an OTS shot of DOT, who is sitting with her back
to us, holding the magazine and looking at Newt's face. She spins
around in her chair to face camera.
PULL BACK TO SLIGHTLY WIDER ANGLE
Dot is seated at her vanity table, staring longingly at Newt's
picture. She puts the picture gently down and picks up a pencil.
She begins to write on a clean sheet of paper.
DOT
(singing)
Dear Mister Gingrich,
Or may I call you Newt?
She looks up into the air, thinking, then continues to write.
DOT
There's just one little thing which
I have to say -- you're cute.
She puts the tip of the eraser against her lips, thinking. She
gets and idea and goes back to writing.
DOT
So before you start your session
To enact your ten point plan,
She puts down the pencil and picks up the picture, staring at it.
DOT
Please make this one concession,
She pulls the picture in close to her face as CAMERA TIGHTENS
ANGLE. They are framed cheek to cheek.
DOT
And be my Congress-man.
SMASHCUT TO:
EXT - FRONT STEPS TO THE CAPITOL BUILDING
NOTE TO DIRECTOR AND STORYBOARD ARTIST: Please see Randy for a
demonstration of the sight gags I have Dot doing in this next
sequence. It'll make things clearer.
DOWN ANGLE from top of steps on Newt running up like a dashing
politician on the go. He's wearing his normal rumpled suit with a
wrinkled tie and old shoes. He's being followed by members of the
press carrying cameras and microphones.
DOT (VO)
Mister Gingrich, you're so cute,
REVERSE ANGLE NEAR TOP OF STAIRS
He turns around at the top of the stairs and waves at everyone
with a big smile. He's is quickly surrounded by the press corps
wanting to interview him.
DOT
In that baggy Walmart suit,
CLOSER ANGLE ON NEWT
Dot leans into frame as a female reporter, holding a microphone.
DOT
And shoes you bought in nineteen-
sixty three;
As the cameras flash, Dot cuddles up next to Newt to be in the
picture with him and waves at the cameras, as if she and Newt are
a couple. Newt looks at her with a double take. On "hip", she
turns to him and straightens his tie. On "make", she slaps him
lovingly several times on the cheek (as if to say "attaboy").
Newt is flabbergasted at this.
DOT (VO)
You're hip, you're cool
You make me smile,
She musses up his hair playfully.
DOT (VO)
With that Howdy-Doody haircut
style,
CLOSE ANGLE ON JUST DOT AND NEWT'S FACES
She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him, cheek to cheek.
He can't believe this is happening.
DOT
Oh Mister Gingrich you're the guy
for me.
WIDER ANGLE
She grabs him by the lapels and pulls him in toward her. He's
completely thrown off balance.
DOT
Cause I think you're cute,
CLOSE ANGLE ON NEWT'S FACE
Dot squeezes his lips together (like you do to a baby) and his
lips pucker up together.
DOT
And I love you Newt,
She playfully socks him in the jaw. He goes down for the count.
DOT
You great big brute,
You are,
ANGLE ON NEWT - ON THE GROUND
Dot is kneeling next to him, his head in her hands. He looks
loopy.
DOT
You're in, you're hot,
She pokes her finger into his chest. He reacts in pain.
DOT
And you're all they've got
WIDEN ANGLE
She reaches up and pulls down, curtain like, a huge bank of TV
sets on the right side of screen, all showing Newt on them.
DOT
On the TV screens,
She pulls down, on the left side of screen, a bank of magazines
(Time, Newsweek, Business, etc.) all with Newt on the cover.
DOT
And in the magazines,
The cameras come in and start flashing their picture.
DOT
You political superstar.
As music vamps, Dot smiles and waves to the cameras. In doing so,
she lets go of Newt's head and it falls O.S. with a loud CLUNK.
CUT TO:
INT. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Music still vamping, Newt is up at the podium, banging his gavel
and calling the house to order. (The congressional seal on the
back of the podium reads "House of Representatives" so we know
where we are.) The end of the gavel opens up like a porthole door
and Dot's head sticks out of it.
DOT
Mister Newt you're heaven sent,
She jumps out of the gavel and lands on the lectern next to him.
DOT
And I know that I was meant,
She backs him up, poking her finger in his chest. He backs up too
far and falls off the podium and O.S. with a CRASH.
DOT
To be your constituent, it's true.
CUT TO:
INT. CONGRESSIONAL CAFETERIA - CLOSE ON NEWT
He's seated at the lunch table with a napkin tucked under his
chin and he holds a knife and fork in each hand, ready to eat. A
hand comes into frame and puts down a plate with a whole chicken
in front of him. The chicken has both wings on one side.
On "Republican", WIDEN ANGLE to reveal it's Dot, as waitress,
putting the food in front of him.
DOT
And I love those cute Republican
things,
Newt lifts his knife and fork as he is about to dig in.
DOT
Like you order your chicken with
two right wings,
Dot suddenly wheels him around in his chair so he's facing her.
DOT
Oh Mister Gingrich, what am I gonna
do?
He looks back, pointing to his food. Dot pulls his head back so
he's looking at her. She jumps into his lap.
DOT
Cause you're just so cute,
You big galoot,
She grabs his head and squeezes tight, burying him in a bear hug.
His arms flail, trying to get out.
DOT
You're so astute, oh my,
He breaks free and runs to get away from her, over the top of the
table and O.S. left.
DOT
There's no dispute,
Dot pushes down on her end of the table.
DOT
And they can't refute,
WIDEN ANGLE
The other end of the table goes up in the air and Newt is now
running in place on the table because of its steep incline.
DOT
That I love you, Newt,
Newt looks down and realizes what's happening.
DOT
You're a true grass root,
Newt falls and tries to grab onto something. He slides all the
way back down to Dot, who grabs him in a loving embrace.
DOT
Professional and Congressional kind
of guy.
CLOSE ON BOTH - NEWT IN DOT'S ARMS
A plate slides down the table and into frame, hitting Newt in the
head and smashing to bits. Newt does a loopy take and drops out
of frame.
CUT TO:
EXT. LARGE BUILDING
The sign on it, in large easy-to-read letters spells "Orphanage".
Newt is standing out front gesturing towards the building. Yakko,
Wakko, and Dot jump into frame, next to him. They sing the chorus
refrain from "Yakko's Universe", so we can use the same poses
from that song.
WARNERS
It's a great, big universe,
And we're all really puny,
The entire building falls towards them and lands on top of Newt.
The building is just a facade, though, like those you see on
movie sets, Behind it are cameras, cables, scaffolding, etc. The
Warners crotch down and sing to Newt, whose head sticks out from
underneath the giant flat.
WARNERS
And "Boy's Town" was just a movie,
Newt,
That was starring Mickey Rooney.
A limo drives by (convertible) with Mickey Rooney sitting in
back. His name is written on the car door so we know who he is.
He waves at us as the car drives across screen, pulling the next
frame on as we:
WIPE TO:
EXT. CASTLE COURTYARD
Dot is dressed as Lady Gueneviere and is flanked on either side
by two knights. One of the knights is down on one knee, his
helmet held under his arm, and is offering her a handkerchief
which she dropped.
DOT
Every girl might wish she had,
The other knight removes his tunic and throws it over a puddle,
gesturing for her to walk across.
DOT
Sir Lancelot or Galahad,
Dot pulls out a picture of Newt and holds it close to her cheek,
singing to it. The knights look jealous.
DOT
But not me Newt, I've got it bad,
For you.
The picture grows until it becomes the entire screen.
EXT. TOP OF MOUNT EVEREST
Newt is standing there, triumphant, as if he just scaled the
highest mountain top. He holds a flag which he has just planted
at the summit. Dot stands off to one side, admiring him
adoringly.
DOT
You're the man on top, you're the
golden boy,
CLOSER ANGLE
She jumps into his arms causes him to lose his balance.
DOT
You're Mrs. Gingrich's pride and
joy,
He loses it, drops her, and falls O.S. (i.e. off the mountain).
Dot stands there singing to camera.
DOT
You're a hit, you're it, you're the
real McCoy, it's true.
She looks down O.S. and sees him. She jumps down to him.
QUICK CUT TO:
EXT. SNOW BANK
Newt is lying there, buried in snow. Dot cradles him in her arms.
DOT
My heart is all a flutter,
She puts her hand under his chin.
DOT
And the words I want to utter,
She pokes her finger into his fat tummy like the Pillsbury dough
boy.
DOT
Are you're eating too much butter,
yes it's true.
She wags her finger at him as he looks aghast.
INT. NEWT'S CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE
Newt is at his desk working. He opens a drawer and Dot suddenly
pops her head.
DOT
But you're just so cute,
Surprised, he slams it shut and opens another drawer. She pops
out of that one.
DOT
You sly old coot,
He slams that drawer and opens a third. She pops her head out of
that one and he slams it shut too.
DOT
You gave those democrats the boot,
She pops up out of his collar at the rear of his neck.
DOT
They say that nothing's absolute,
She jumps on top of his desk, arms outstretched, singing to the
world.
DOT
It's not true,
She grabs him and turns him so his back is on the desk and she's
looking down at him in a mad embrace.
DOT
You're the man for me,
She jumps on his chest, crouched, and pointing her finger at him.
DOT
You're the VIP
CLOSE ANGLE ON THEIR FACES
She goes cheek to cheek with him, looking into camera
DOT
You're the CEO of the GOP
WIDEN ANGLE
She jumps into his arms.
DOT
And it's to D.C. A-S-A-P for you.
She kisses him.
WIPE TO:
INT. CHURCH - WEDDING CEREMONY
Dot's in a bridal gown and Newt is in a tuxedo. They're at the
altar. She takes his hands in hers and turns toward him.
DOT
Cause mister Gingrich,
You're the thing which,
She holds up a ring to show him.
DOT
Every girl will want a ring which,
Newt's eyes open wide in fright and he goes running down the
aisle to escape. He breaks through the doors of the church
without even opening them, leaving the typical WB silhouette of a
body crashing through a wall.
DOT
Says your hers but still you're
mine, you see,
CUT TO:
ANGLE ON TALL WHITE MARBLE PEDESTAL WITH NEWT STANDING ON TOP OF
IT.
Dot is on the floor looking up, gesturing to him.
DOT
Here's to you mister Newt,
WIDEN ANGLE
There are twenty-one cannons surrounding the pedestal, facing
towards it.
DOT
A twenty-one gun salute,
On "twenty", the cannons fire. When the smoke clears, the
pedestal has been reduced to rubble and Newt is laying on the
ground, blackened with soot and in tattered underwear. Dot holds
his head up, cradled in her arms lovingly.
DOT
Cause there's no one else as cute,
She kisses him a long, big one, then drops him and looks into
camera with a smile, pointing at herself.
DOT
Except for me.
Close on her smiling face as we...
IRIS OUT.
Randy Rogel told me that the opening of the tune was made to mimic Judy Garland's singing to Clark Gable in the "Dear Mister Gable" introductory verse of the song You Made Me Love You (from Broadway Melody of 1938), and that it went into a different direction from there.
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