NOBEL PEACE PRIZE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

First I would like to thank my parents, my wife Betsy and my son Khola, my colleagues in the physics department at Stanford, my team mates in Silicon Valley, the staff and seminar leaders at Esalen Institute, my skillful tantric teachers on Rainbow Ridge, Future Peak, the God Farm and the Goddess Temple, my numerous Dance instructors, my many lovely Muses, and the plant and animal allies whose actions have given me courage to investigate the barely speakable.

As I glance into this audience, which includes the King of Sweden and former Nobel Laureates, I am not unaware of the presence of uniformed men prepared to arrest me as a war criminal should I publically disclose the secret of Weapon X, a weapon so effective and dangerous that it makes nuclear bombs seem like Chinese fireworks.

Like so many other revolutionary discoveries from the printing press to manned flight, there is a dark side as well as a bright side to Quantum Diplomacy, as my discovery is sometimes known. Just as it is possible to use Quantum Diplomacy to further mutual understanding among sentient beings, so also is it possible to abuse Quantum Diplomacy to manufacture what I have called Weapon X. And No, I will not disappoint the gentlemen carrying the handcuffs. I fully intend to reveal from this stage everything that I know about this powerful new quantum-based weapon.

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