This is what happened to a middle class male who had the good fortune to survive a traumatic accident without
being paralyzed, but was unlucky
to try and continue his education.
While, my experience is with two schools in California, the reader should remember;
unless the survivor of a traumtic accident is independantly wealthy and has enough money to bypass
similar policies, they too will have a outcome similar to mine.
I think about the isolation, the constant humiliation, the self-consciousness,
the fruitless attempt(s) to
change my sexual orientation,
the constant attacks on my self-image by the organizations being paid to help me.
The attitudes from DSS, DSPS and DRC,
directed at me puzzled me. I always got a sense of mocking, a sense
that they were going through the motions, but there was always feeling of insincerity.
They were not doing what they said they were.
I did not know what to think. If I said anything, they attacked me. They said they
were helping me complete my
education, but their actions indicated that
was not their interest. I had no one to protest to.
DSS taught me to disbelieve
my thoughts about my education. If I criticized my treatment, the head of DSS wasted no time in attacking me.
DSS was wrecking my social life and my academic life.
I knew it, but did know what I could to do. If I said anything I was attacked.
Why did DSS
feel they had the right to treat me the way they did?
Why do DSPS and DRC feel they have the right to treat another human this way?
Where do these organizations get the money to do this?
These are questions I
can not answer. I would think the
Chancellor of UC Santa Cruz and the President/Superviser
of Cabrillo College would know.
I have written both people and there has been no investigation as to what transpired or why it happened.
I thought education was a means to lessen the effects of TBI, but that has been taken away from me. I survived a horrific
accident, but I did not expect to be treated like a freak, a person undeserving of opportunity. What is the
purpose of the training and dedication of the men and women
who enabled me to survive my accident, for this to happen to me?
My brother is a Orthopedic Surgeon. He knows how hard I have worked. He is appalled by the way TBI survivors are
treated when they (me) seek to continue on with their lives.
I have no ideas of how to change people's attitudes. This problem is going to keep getting worse and worse.
When enough TBI survivors have killed
themselves because the day-to-day humiliation has broken them? Then, maybe, people might take notice?
What is school like for a regular person? New friends? A spouse? A Social life?
Going to school was different for me. The consequences of the way I have been bullied are with me everyday I
am alive.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
May 6, 2013.
Introduction
In 1983 I was fortunate
to survive an extreme rock-climbing fall
without being paralyzed despite breaking my back. After my accident I had full
sensation, but limited
motor control over the right side of my body from the Traumatic Brain Injury
(TBI) that almost killed me. Being right handed, I believed there was
a support network in place to enable me to continue with my education.
It is my understanding 2012 was the "Year of the Disabled." It seems reasonable
that people hear from someone who has used the services available to
TBI Survivors in Higher Education. This feedback is important to
improving the services delivered to disabled students.
People need to be able to
see how their tax dollars are being spent or, if they are students, their registration
fees.
What is it like to be a Head Injury Survivor in Higher Education?
What happens when you continue with your life, after surviving an accident that
used to kill everyone that had the misfortune to endure it? Does your determination
matter? How about your intelligence?
Every person in Higher Education, whether staff, instructors
or students, deserves to know about what has been done to me,
because I was a TBI Survivor.
This was not a series of unfortunate events. This was policy.
My experience is what type of treatment other Head Injury
Survivors can expect if they seek to improve themselves through
Higher Education. This will happen wherever they enroll
for school.
What happens to disabled students who have been fortunate
to survive traumatic incidents (including
Military mishaps) when they enroll at the College and/or
University level?
What treatment can they expect? I would expect
similar or worse service then I received.
In the 24 years, I was a client at these two schools, I was
never asked
to evaluate the service I received - not once.
Is the goal is to improve service? Maybe, it's to get rid
of needy disabled students as quickly as posssible by not
meeting their needs and having no record of that?
Physics jokes, Physics quotes and observations in blue
text, within blue rectangles (like this), are placed
throughout the text, preceding each section.
Our present
system leads to deliberate denial of the benefits of a quality education (through
denial of accommodation)
for some disabled students. These students have been lead
to believe
they will get the help they need to improve their lives when
they enroll at the, College or University, level.
In reality, accommodation for their disability is a hoax.
No matter how
smart they are, or how hard they work - they can never perform
better then mediocre.
Why did, and why do, the people that work with disabled students engage in
such behavior? Did they want to punish me (TBI
Survivor) for being alive? Maybe they
thought I was a fraud, that I was not disabled? Maybe they thought
I needed a good kick-in-the-ass to drop the pretense of
needing help?
Whatever the reason, the fact is they were not
doing the job they were being paid to do.
Long overdue feedback and commentary, from a
Biochemistry graduate who has used the services for disabled
students in Higher Education.
I am an intelligent and motivated
Head Injury Survivor who is, "bringing light," to the way
TBI Survivors are being deliberately tortured through lack of
accommodation their disability. Departments within UCSC and
Cabrillo College do not want a written record of what they have been doing
to their clients.
If I had been sabotaging people, the way they did me, I
would be ashamed of what I had done and
would not want a record of my actions for others to see. Accordingly,
I am not surprised DSS, DSPS and DRC
never asked me for feedback.
In Spring 1987, I was walking through Kresge College
(UCSC) on my way to Chemistry 101 (Thermodynamics). I stopped
at the Kresge library to wash my hands. On the bathroom wall, by
the sink, was written in pen, "I hate myself." To the side of
this pronouncement, someone had added in pencil, "We hate you too."
I have had extensive experience in dealing with the Staff people who were supposed
to see that the
guidelines of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) are being followed.
I was
still taking classes at UCSC when the ADA was signed into law, but
Disabled
Student Services chose to keep pretending my need for help writing was a fraud
perpetrated by me and made no effort to accommodate my disability.
Regular text that is underlined (usually a different color too)
is a link that will open a new
window when clicked. This window will contain information to further
explain
the word (or words) that were underlined in the sending text.
Closing that window
returns you to the sending page.
Anthony Walton
My new reality begins in Part 1.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
Head Injury (TBI) Services
By publishing some of my experiences in Higher Education, people can see the importance of
the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
Under the present system, female Staff within DSS, DSPS and DRC
chose to ignore the ADA with regards to my disability. Consequently, it took me
until Fall 2007 to acquire and demonstrate the knowledge I should have graduated with
in Spring 1989.
In the summer of 1982,
I ran, with my brother, from Tuolumne Meadows at an elevation of 8,500 feet,
up over Vogelsang Pass at 10,750 feet to finish down in Yosemite Valley at
4,200 feet. We covered 29.9 miles on back-country trails in 11 hours.
Earlier in the summer I was the, "very best student" in
Organic
Chemistry at UC Santa Cruz.
However, everything changed for me a year later
when I fell 140 feet rock-climbing on July 16, 1983.
I survived my rock-climbing accident with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI),
multiple broken bones and numerous impact injuries. Nonetheless, I returned
to UC Santa Cruz in
Fall quarter 1984. My body was getting used to a new reality. Disabled Student
Services (DSS) did not seem interested if furthering my education.
The focus of DSS was to attack my self-esteem, my private life and my social life
through denial of service. Their actions were to
isolate me from my
fellow students, humiliate me for needing help writing and humiliate me for needing,
and expecting,
quality assistance in the lab.
I did not realize it at the time, but this would become a phenomena that would
persist for almost two and a half decades (as long as I was in
school).
After 24 years of psychological assaults on me,
my ideas and dreams (whenever I was in school), always having these female staff people
treat me like a person to be humored and smiled at, but never taken seriously,
I woke-to-reality, quit looking-the-other-way and finally stopped believing
their BS.
In 1988 a friend told me I was the smartest person she had ever known. I had
been a client of DSS for more than four years by then and they had succeeded in
wrecking my self-image. I did not feel special by Carrie's comment - I felt retarded.
I needed help writing and was consistantly
denied help whenever I asked. For some reason, DSS wanted to ruin my self-esteem
and they were successful.
Did these arrogant Staff women of DSS, DSPS and
DRC really think no one would ever tell on them? Are they mental?
I will probably get attacked, called paranoid, called
misogynist and/or made fun of for blowing-the-whistle on what these
Staff people did to me.
I would be surprised if they, or the people they work for, did not attack anyone (me)
who exposes what these women are doing (and
have done) to their clients (victims).
In spite of what the schools, they represented, claimed, these women had zero
interest in helping me acquire a quality education. They had no desire to
make it possible for me to succeed with my dreams of
going to graduate school and acquiring the ability to earn an income.
They had not
given me one positive comment in 24 years.
I finally listened to what they had been trying
to beat into me since Fall 1984 when I dropped my first university class (Endocrinology)
because of DSS and their refusal to accommodate my disability.
In Spring 2008 I finally woke to reality and dropped out of school at last.
When I returned to UCSC 18 years after I graduated, DRC continued the
discrimination that DSS began. They
did not help me with writing my homework, though they knew I needed it.
I was not aware of my legal rights to take them to Court and they had no intention
of informing me.
There was an old lady called Wright,
who could travel much faster than light.
She departed one day,
in a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.
I was trying to figure out why
I put up with these Staff people for so long? I did not have to, I could have
dropped out of school at any time. Was I
secretly into masochism?
Why did I keep taking
what they were dishing out? What was wrong with me?
I knew how
self-destructive their crap was, (and had been), and, yet,
I continued allowing them to isolate and marginalize me (it was a pattern
of education that I had become used to). How much was due to the PTSD
they gave me will always be a mystery,
but I can venture a guess of 100% (When I refer to, PTSD, in my case,
I mean feelings
of "Hopelessness, Paranoia, Depression and Despair.").
Other then the PTSD, I can think of four reasons why I put up with these Staff
(women) for so long:
I was unaware of the degree of their contempt and disdain for me. I knew something
was not right
whenever I talked with them, but did not know what it was.
I was under the impression that people knew what these Staff People were doing
to their clients, but did not care. How that transpired is a good question, because no
one was asking me.
The psychology of victimization can help explain what happened to me and why I
eventually went along with them. For the
first six months (starting Fall 1984) I protested my treatment until
I got tired of being attacked by the head woman at DSS. Nothing changed for the better because I spoke up.
Also, remember the fact; to attain my undergraduate degree and then learn all the
material for the classes in my degree, that I should have known
before I graduated, I did not have any other
option. I was forced to work with these women.
So, anyway, I stayed serious
and humorless after dropping out of school. It has taken me about 60 months (May 2013)
to reach the point where I can begin to talk rationally
about how these bullies (Staff people) did their best to ruin me.
The moon is more useful than the sun, because the moon
shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines
during the day when you don't need it.
Rather then feeling whipped, dwelling on the
reality of me being 52 (when I finally dropped out of school), not having job
skills in spite of 26 years of College and University
education, having my dreams of graduate school evaporate and
me being depressed about it,
something else happened. I grew increasingly angry at what these
Staff people had done to me.
Because of these women and their contempt for me, I decided to use
some of my computer skills and publish
some of my experiences of them, on the Internet for everyone to see.
Accordingly, I composed everything you see. I purposely kept it simple
(HTML 2.0 and web-safe colors) so that most computers could display the text, as I
had composed it.
If the
women of DSS, DSPS and DRC, who destroyed my life, have a problem with me
publishing what they have done to me?
They can, "Cry Me A River."
I decided to exercise my first amendment
right to free speech and publish what these people have done to me and, by
logical
inference,
to other TBI Survivors at these schools and across our nation.
We need to change this educational system so that students with Head Injuries are
given the same educational opportunities as other students.
Four Parts to go.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
Disabled Student Services (DSS), Disabled Student Programs
and Services (DSPS) and Disabled Resource Center
(DRC) succeeded in ruining my academic record. They also suceeded
in keeping me dependent on
US taxpayers for my existence. I do not
have a wife or family.
When some people imply I must be Gay (homosexual) because I
am not part of a family, it reinforces my PTSD.
I become aware of the amount of anger and hatred I have for the women
of DSS,
DSPS
and DRC and what they have done to my life. It is not
good for me, but there it is. These people prevented me from being able focus
my mental abilities on graduate school in Immunolgy
or graduate school in Mathematics. I can not forgive these women for what
they have done to my life - to me.
These women could not have
gotten away with the stuff they did to me if their employer (UC Santa Cruz
or Cabrillo College)
were checking up on them. It is the school's responsibility to
provide a safe learning environment that is free from discrimination.
I am very interested in
bringing these women to Justice, but I do not have money to hire a lawyer and
I am not foolish enough to attempt litigation on my own, having never
been to law school.
The PTSD these organizations gave me is a total drag. It
will always be with me. I have PTSD because I attended UCSC and
Cabrillo College.
I am aware of where these feelings of paranoia and
despair are coming from. I can not conceive of why these schools are paying
people to do this
to another person.
I have a three wheel
bicycle (ClubSport by Windcheetah) that I am riding when it's not
cold or rainy.
The picture on the left is of me seated on my ClubSport in the condition
it arrived in from the factory.
The picture on the right is my ClubSport with the new Seat, Fairing and
Crutch Holder (visible below).
I replaced the original factory supplied fairing with one from
Zzip Designs
which makes the roadway (everything I need to see and avoid) visible. I used to
have a flat tire everytime I rode my ClubSport because I could not see the road
and avoid hazards. The flat problem was a total drag.
Since I replaced the opaque fairing years ago, I have had one flat tire (the rear) .
Crutch Holder
The bike arrived with velcro as the soulution to carry a crutch. I crashed numerous
times when the crutch vibrated free and hit the road. Paul Sadoff
(of Rock Lobster) made
a bracket from Aluminum (won't rust).
I replaced the factory supplied seat, with a
seat with a mesh back from Easy
Racers,
to increase air flow on my back. The original seat was hot, sticky and really
uncomfortable.
The new seat has a ergonometric back that is bolted to the frame. Not
only is it comfortable with excellent air flow, but I can also push harder against it
(climb hills faster)
and the steering is vastly improved too.
The replacement fairing and the new seat make my
ClubSport comfortable to sit on, my vision is unobstructed and it
steers precisely.
I smile a lot when I ride my recumbent tricycle.
Sasha
Cats are elegant and aloof. Sasha is no exception. Here, she relaxes, while her
nutrition-supply-unit (me) moves around the kitchen, getting
Sasha kicking back,
waiting for food.
ready to fix her breakfast or dinner. If asked why I was moving around with
such determination, she would not be
Chow Time
surprised, she expects me to do so. After all, I am feeding her.
I designed a pentagon 'shelf' that fits under my rolling table in the kitchen to
have a place for the cat food dishes. Sasha
can get up on it and eat without risk of being run over. Of course she prefers to eat on the
floor in my bedroom.
To protect my bedding from her claws, I had a queen-size piece of canvas sewn onto one
side of a queen-size comforter. Sasha's claws can not penetrate the canvas and whatever is
underneath, is safe.
When I initially brought the bedding protector home, Sasha was forced to change her habits. She
was accustomed to leaping onto my bed, but not putting a lot of effort into it. She
relied on her claws to pull her onto the bed. The first time she tried her half-hearted
leap, Sasha pawed futiley at the canvas, finally realized her efforts were hopeless and
turned to jump down on the floor. She made it seem that was what she had intended all
along. She looked away from my amusement at what just happened and started licking herself
furiously - Sasha was too funny.
● So, back to Aftermath:
After 26 years of College and University
Education I have a
diploma. I also have a wrecked, private and social, life.
I do not have job skills or retirement savings. However, I do have PTSD (oh joy).
It is gradually
going away (the longer I am away from the Staff people who caused it).
I am a beneficiary of recent advances trauma care. I survived my accident, but
was deliberately denied accomodation for my disability by women within DSS, DSPS and
DRC.
“What I am going to tell you about is what we teach our physics students
in the third or fourth year of graduate school... It is my task to convince
you not to turn away because you don't understand it. You see my physics
students don't understand it... That is because I don't understand it. Nobody
does.” - Richard P. Feynman (Nobel prize winning Physicist)
Because I attended UC Santa Cruz and Cabrillo College I had
to work with
DSS starting Fall quarter 1984 to Spring quarter 1990 at UC Santa Cruz.
DSPS starting Fall semester 1991 to Spring semester 2007 at Cabrillo College.
DRC starting Fall quarter 2007 to Spring quarter 2008 at UC Santa Cruz.
DSS taught me to hate and despise myself for being alive. A lesson that
DSPS and DRC constantly reinforced.
Sasha
They taught me to be ashamed of who and what I am.
Their policy of, "Denial of Accommodation," ruined my academic record.
I have a BA in Biochemistry.
I was denied the opportunity to earn a PhD or Masters degree, because they
ruined my academic record and wasted huge amounts (18 years) of my time.
They ruined most of my friendships with their policies of "Social Isolation,"
and "Public Humiliation".
I have no wife or children - thanks to them.
I receive little touching and no loving - more credit to them.
I am alone, because I worked with them (they succeeded in isolating me).
If not for Sasha, my kitty, I would have no outlet for my playfulness,
love and affection.
They wrecked my social life with their policy of, "Social Isolation," (another
victory for them).
I could not survive without disability payments, because I
worked with DSS, DSPS and DRC.
I am left with feelings of hopelessness, paranoia and despair (PTSD). For who,
and why, is this a desirable outcome?
What of the registration fees I spent on dropped, repeated or failed classes when I
was, and because I was, a client of DSS, DSPS and DRC?
Who is going to reimburse me for money that I wasted?
Two atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly the lead atom stops.
"I think I just lost an electron," it says to the other atom.
"Are you certain?" asks the second atom.
"I'm positive," says the first.
My research sharpened my abilities to think critically and to carefully
consider all aspects of a given problem. In short; I analyzed more then 35, papers
and journal
articles (in Nature, Cell, Biochemistry or unpublished),
to see if the conclusions
reached, were supported by data returned from the experiments.
I was trained to read what was said and to critically analyze the
conclusion(s) presented.
Internet research and conclusions:
Using my abilities to read and evaluate data, I did multiple
Internet searches
in March and April of 2011. I was comparing, what was said on websites for disability
access to Higher
Education, with my experience. This is what I found and the conclusions I reached.
Each website
claimed compliance with the Americans
with Disabilities Act, though some did not even offer paid
note takers. Not one website mentioned writing assistance. The words used,
the phrasing used and the overall 'look' of each website
was nearly identical to that of the websites of UC Santa Cruz and Cabrillo College
- two schools
that had denied me accommodation for my disability for 24 years.
Every school that I looked at used
the same, "cookie cutter" model of disabled students and how to
respond to their needs. Some schools were openly hostile to disabled students, treating
disability as a fraud. They implied, disability was being used by able-bodied students to
"gain-the-system".
Disabled students did not need note-takers, they were able-bodied students just too
lazy to take notes
on their own. Disabled students did not need more time for exams, they were able-bodied
students trying to cheat and so on.
Every school website that I looked at was
offering the same services (mostly) for working with disabled students.
I sent 16 inquiries for further information
and got two replies.
From my efforts I was able to reach the following three conclusions:
There is no accountability for the College and/or University education
of TBI Survivors. TBI Survivors that need help writing their homework can
expect the same sort
of assistance that I received - doodly squat.
Schools across America are not serving survivors of traumatic accidents,
traumatic incidents and Military mishaps, though they claim they are. Rather,
TBI Survivors
who need writing assitence, will be humiliated, get attacked for being disabled,
given PTSD and denied accommodation for their disability.
If most TBI Survivors seek to improve themselves with more then a mediocre
education - it will not happen. If you need, and are denied, competent writing help,
you are screwed.
Intelligence, determination and potential lead to frustration,
a wrecked life, poverty, a mediocre education and PTSD. This is my experience.
A neutron is sitting in a bar getting hammered. It finally decides it is time
to go and motions to the bartender.
"How much do I owe you?" it asks, reaching for its wallet.
"That isn't necessary," says the bartender.
"I've been here for hours," says the neutron.
"No charge," insists the bartender.
Because of no accountability, these Staff people wasted almost
two decades of my life.
They derived pleasure/satisfaction from ruining my life or they would not have done it.
None of them expected me to publish their perversion of my College and University
Education, on the Internet. Imagining their reaction makes me smile.
I think, certain Staff people hope no one will read what I have written or
believe me if they do.
It would have been physically impossible for me to earn my degree
if I had had to retake the Chemistry and Physics classes I had passed before
my accident.
My problems with the lecture portions of these classes are covered in
Part 3 and Part 4
of "Higher Education for People who have Experienced and Survived
a Head Injury."
The lab portions required, written pre-lab preparation, written lab notebooks
and written lab reports. I was denied help writing by the head of DSS and could
not have passed my first Chemistry or Physics class.
This is occurring and has happened nationwide to many people, but do not take my
word for it.
Ask other, male and female, TBI Survivors what their experience of Higher
Education has
been like?
Were they eligible for Financial Aid?
Were they isolated from their fellow students?
Did the policies directed at TBI Survivors make them feel suicidal?
Did they feel hopeless and alone?
Did they drop out of school before they graduated?
What is the quality of the education they received?
Could they get a job with what they learned in school?
Were they asked for feedback?
Three Parts to go.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
14 months after my accident, I returned to UC
Santa Cruz (UCSC),
as a client of Disabled Student Services (DSS),
I made this video in 2008 to honor Ray, who died from
a fall on this trail in May 2006.
in Fall 1984 to complete my final year of studies.
However, I did not graduate until March 21, 1989. If I had not been a TBI
Survivor, I would have
graduated five years
earlier, but I was physically unable to carry a full class load.
More importantly, I would have graduated with the knowledge, for my major, that
took me an additional
18 years of dropped, repeated and failed classes (part-time study)
to acquire and demonstrate.
100% of the Staff people that wasted my time, money and ensured I get a mediocre education
were female.
I have no idea why I was the focus of their contempt and disdain, but I was.
I had noticed a thinly veiled hostility directed at me from her, when I first talked to
the head
of DSS in early Fall 1984, but thought I was imagining things. My concern was to
continue with my education after I
survived a TBI that, everyone thought, had killed me.
Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you
are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
In 1990 the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA)
was signed
into law, but nothing was different for me
in Higher Education. Having been attacked and bullied at UCSC years before whenever
I protested
my treatment by DSS, I had been conditioned to keep my mouth shut and not to question
how I was being treated.
After years of isolation and denial of accommodation, I became used to being alone and
I always felt bad about myself.
Sometimes I felt very self-destructive, even suicidal - this was the school experience I
became accustomed to.
When I experienced the same treatment and had the same self-destructive feelings
at Cabrillo College - I
was not surprised. At that point I assumed the ADA did not apply to me. It never
occured to me that one of the women of DSPS was deliberately breaking the law by
denying me accommodation for my disability.
Starting Fall 1991, I attended Cabrillo College, as a client of
DSPS,
on and off, for 16 years. I returned to UCSC as a client of DRC
in Fall 2007
and Winter/Spring 2008.
My need for help writing has been acknowledged by
both campuses, but has never extended beyond
lecture at either school.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
- Albert Einstein
Instead, a smiling female Staff member of DSPS (in their office at Cabrillo College)
bragged to me in October 2009, she had
deliberately chosen to withhold writing assistance from me for many years, though
she knew I needed it. My mouth, literally, fell open.
I could not comphrehend her pride in what she had done.
Was she proud of breaking the law, in front of everyone, for
so many years and getting away with it?
Her contempt for me is shown by the fact
she told me. She had been deliberately denying me accommodation for 16 years. Enough
time (more than 90 days since I was last enrolled at Cabrillo College) had elapsed
so she assumed legally she was safe from prosecution. The fact that I was competent to
publicize her behavior and, that I would do so on the Internet, did not occur to her.
Anyway,
who would I tell?
Anyone with an Internet connection.
In a email from UCSC was
a pdf document,
dated November 2, 2010 (I requested the
hard copy, 5/23/12, 5/24/12, finally mailing a written request 6/29/12 and
received the pdf document 7/11/12).
The "Assistant Chancellor/Chief of Staff" of UCSC, implied I was
responsible for UCSC's discrimination,
that my expectations were the source of my problems, their lack of service was not
a factor. DSS and DRC, breaking the law and using my disability to harm me
was, not mentioned.
Two Parts to go.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
My University and College Education
When I returned to UCSC after my accident I was writing at 1/6 of my previous speed.
The head of DSS chose to
give me help writing (note-takers) for lecture only. At the same time, she claimed she
wasn't required to help me with my homework, and,
therefore, would not (I have included the best example of my writing from Spring
2008, 24 years later). Her thinly veiled hostility blossomed into undisguised arrogance
in the short time I had known her.
After repeated
refusals and attacks by her, I came to expect angry denials, if I was foolish enough to
keep requesting accommodation for my disability. She was not doing her job and she
got upset at me for reminding her. Here was an annoying freak (me), requesting she
do her job.
She was not accountable
to anyone for what she did to me and she knew it. She made it very clear she
was not interested in
feedback from me (her client).
I really disliked her and found out my animosity was shared by every student
that had to work with DSS. She called a meeting on December 1st 1986 at
Stevenson College (UCSC) for all clients of DSS. She was late. As soon
as she
appeared, she started in by insulting us.
Every student she worked with (about 35 of us) lit into her.
She was not expecting us to stand up to her - it was too funny.
She got really flustered and would not look at us. She did not just feign
suprise, she was surprised,
at how angry we were with her.
I realized it was not just me she was bullying. Everyone hated her,
At last she knew it. Now we did also.
She never scheduled a meeting, with more than one client, again.
Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
A: An Algorithm.
Jan, the one Staffer at DSS I liked, who I had rapport with, they got
rid of. At the time I
wondered why? I asked the head of DSS and she came up with some
cock-and-bull story about how Jan was
not doing her job, etc.. I did not believe her, but let it go. DSS
was now under the exclusive control of the women who despised me for my disability
(probably my gender too).
The bullies of DSS thought they had crushed me, that I was beaten down by them, that I
would never tell
about the sadistic and shameful Staff of UC Santa Cruz. Who would listen to, or
believe a recipient of their abuse, after this long a time?
Epecially when these revelations of abuse are coming from a student who can not even
speak clearly?
Why is he credible?
Four reasons spring immediately to mind:
I have a degree in Biochemistry.
I have the background (my senior research) to analyze what was done to me..
I took the time (18 years) to actually be proficient in the various aspects/material
that my degree encompassed. DSS wanted to get rid of me as quickly as
possible. They had zero
interest in helping me acquire a quality education, giving me no help with
my homework.
I am well aware of the paranoia from my PTSD and am making real effort to not
let my analysis turn into an angry rant about the Staff (women) who did this to me.
There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of a
sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong
with them. His veterinarian can't figure it out. In desperation, the farmer
calls a biologist, a chemist,
and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist
looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could
be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some
measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist
tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without
touching them or anything.
Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away
in a notebook. Finally, after several intricate and involved calculations,
he excitedly exclaims,
"I've got it!" and then sheepishly admits, "My solution will only work for
spherical chickens in a vacuum."
The Effects of 24 years of DSS', DSPS' and
DRC's contempt for me:
I became used to spending enormous amounts of time alone, working on my homework.
It was always hard to
read, poorly composed and unfinished.
My best effort to write the left half of the
upper formula in Spring 2008. Try to imagine
how bad my writing was 24 years before this.
This had the following scholastic effects:
In the 24 years I was a client of DSS, DSPS and DRC, I did not
turn in one completed written homework assignment in any of my classes.
I never studied for midterms or finals. I was
still trying to finish my homework.
I never used the equation sheets that I wrote for my midterms or finals -
they were indecipherable. I still made them, had them with me sometimes,
but could not figure out what my scribbles meant.
I did not have time to study with my fellow students,
join any clubs or associations.
I dropped classes, I repeated classes and I even failed some.
Every time (without exception) that I raised objection to the way I was treated,
I was attacked by DSS and DRC. This started in Fall 1984,
Winter/Spring 1985 and Spring 2008.
What DSS started, DSPS and DRC continued. My academic
record was completely ruined as a result.
My dreams of graduate school were destroyed by these people. I scored a "93" ("99" possible)
on the GRE subject exam (Biology) in October 1987.I even applied to
and went on an interview for graduate school in Pharmaceutical Chemistry
at UCSF in Spring 1990, but could not get excited about continuing with
school. Because of DSS, I knew my degree was a
sham and my social life was destroyed. My heart was not into more
of this education (graduate school).
“Physics isn't the most important thing. Love is.” - Richard P. Feynman (Nobel prize
winning Physicist)
The desire by DSS, DSPS and DRC to isolate and punish me
for being disabled, not only shredded my academic record,
it also started, and continued, the destruction of my private life.
I had hours and hours to dwell on how ashamed I was of my writing. I was doing
my best and my
homework looked terrible -
It was really depressing.
While in school, I had no time to maintain existing friendships. Most of them
faded away.
I couldn't focus on movies, dinners, lunches or anything - I had no social life.
DSS, DSPS and DRC constantly treated me like a freak. I felt
like there was something wrong with me for being alive,
wanting to continue with my education after surviving a horrendous accident and needing help. Being denied accommodation,
by the people being paid to
help me, reinforced that I was a freak and started, then added to, my PTSD
(When I refer to, PTSD, in my case, I mean feelings
of "Hopelessness, Paranoia, Depression and Despair.").
While aware of some women's interest in me, I couldn't believe it. Weren't
they aware that I was physically
unable to
finish my homework, though I kept trying and trying? I could pay my rent, eat and not
much else. How could I
support them and a family? I felt really terrible about myself.
I was, and still am, harassed by some Gay men. I am amazed and amused at DSS for
starting this and
DSPS and DRC for continuing it. These women were so sadistic and
humorless, I
have to laugh at them. The repercussions of their actions, however, are not funny
and I find no humor in what they have done to my life.
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office,
waving a graph taken off his latest experiment.
"Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where
you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation
follows)." In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute",
studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes
it.
"Hmmm," says the theorist, "You'd expect to see a dip in exactly that
position. Here's the reason...".
I am aware of, and remember specific incidents that illustrate,
what the women of DSS did, and were trying to do, to me. For example:
The head of DSS is the most sadistic and unpleasent person I have ever known. Once,
after she had
again denied me
help writing, she asked me if I had ever thought about killing myself? She
seemed disappointed when I
responded with, "No. Why would I want to do that?" She could not believe my answer
and asked me again.
She got the same reply. I think, her policy of social isolation
was not having the expected effect. Eventually, working with DSS made me
crazy enough to intimate
self destruction, but not in Fall 1984.
The woman I had to work with at DSS, was not satisfied
with destroying my social life,
ruining most of my friendships and making me feel suicidal. She was
even trying to
change my sexual orientation
- I could not make this up. This
series of events is so unbelievable, it seems ludicrous, like a dark comedy
written by some crazy people.
I lived it and, thinking back, am amazed at how much hate and loathing I still have
for that woman. She was working for DRC (up at UC Santa Cruz) in 2008 where
I saw her when I could not avoid her.
I get the impression, the Staff of DSS, DSPS and DRC, who
did this to me, were trying
to make me hate life so much, that I would
drop out of school. They felt it was their right to do as much damage to my life, as
possible, to achieve that goal. They did not want to help me with my education,
rather, they wanted me to go away. The fact they left me with feelings of hopelessness,
despair and paranoia (PTSD) was
not their concern.
The ADA had been written so that they were protected from lawsuits by their clients
(as long as they did not inform their clients of their rights). In my case, they never
told me I had the option of taking them to Court. If they had, my PTSD
probably would have protected
them from a lawsuit. Somehow I had rationalized how
DSS, DSPS and DRC were helping me with my education.
I was sure they would never choose to deny me accommodation for my disability, though
that was exactly what they had done to me.
It was a sad day for the bullies of DSS, DSPS and DRC to have a
client of my
intelligence and
determination. I took them at their
word, believing they really
meant they were there to help me continue with my education. They used the fact that
I was disabled and had to work with them to attack me.
After decades of their BS, I am quite willing to expose them for the frauds and
bullies they are and were.
one Part to go.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
The ADA needs to be amended to prevent the sort of thing, I encountered,
from continuing to happen. I have included seven suggestions based on my extensive
experience with bullies (Staff) who ignore the ADA in their eagerness to
attack and torture their clients.
Establishment of a committee, made up of men and women, whose purpose is to see
that the ADA is being followed. The female Staffers I dealt with have shown what
they will do
when no one is checking up on them or asking their clients if their disability
is being accommodated?
Colleges and Universities that do not serve all disabled citizens, will
receive no federal dollars for anything (this includes financial aid) - no exception.
Disabled students need to be told of their rights every time they
register for a class.
Staff people need to be liable for criminal prosecution for denial of accommodation.
An equivalent length of time the
disabled student is at school (two semesters or three quarters, per year) is a reasonable
length of time for a disabled student to file a lawsuit.
A feedback/posting mechanism is required.
Mandatory fines and imprisonment for people in Higher Education who choose not to do the
job
they are being paid to do. The female Staffers, who attacked and
tortured me, leaving me with a shattered life and PTSD deserve what they get.
To keep these women
from escaping justice, this should be retroactive to 1984.
Staff people who are convicted of denying accommodation to a Disabled Student will be
barred for life from working with Disabled Students.
"Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't
dead are in some way very ill"
- Mr Standish "The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul" by Douglas Adams
I am not aware of any psychological testing for positions, where the applicant will be
in contact with people they can take advantage of (TBI Survivors). The
possibility for Constitutional Rights violations and Human Rights violations is
significant, my experience bears that out. People with sadistic tendencies should have
little to no contact with disabled students and should never be in a position of power
over a disabled student.
I see no reason to expect the women Staffers that bullied
me (and others) are any different from other women in similar positions across our
country. They are using the same model of disabled students as lazy and mentally
incompetent people,
who deserve to victimized and bullied. This
does not bode well for the increasing number of, men and women, surviving, formerly
lethal accidents, traumatic incidents and Military mishaps.
March 6, 2013
I think I am an expert in this topic, having 24 years of experience dealing with
professional people who claim they
want to help me.
Most of them do not seem interested in helping me or they can't (I do not know which)
and some are smiling as
they, stab-me-in-the-back (DSS, DSPS and DRC).
Some of these officials strive
to make as much money as possible off
of a Head Injury Survivor under the guise of 'helping' them, then discard them
after no more money can be made from 'helping' them (me). Who are these people
to tell me what it's like to be disabled when they are not?
I would have gone crazy if not
for my friends.
From my experience the humiliation, we are subjected to everyday, is mind numbing. The
social isolation and loneliness of being a TBI survivor is really horrible. What
sadistic person dreamed this existence up? Where is the surprise Head injury (TBI)
Survivor's often commit
suicide? 100% of the time the suicide is blamed on the head injury, without any
evidence to back that idea up. The reason for the lack of evidence is simple -
there is none.
There is no responsibility assigned to the reality of no support
the Head Injury Survivor faces. No attempt has ever been made to find out what the Head
Injury Survivor needs or thinks. I lived in a cooperative, "The Daily Planet," for a couple
of years, starting in 1990. I lived with seven other people. I grew used to having other
people around, to having people nearby to ask for help. They respected me for who
I was. Loneliness had been a real drag for me. I was going crazy from it
and suddenly it was gone. I started to get creative once again and wrote
The Pass then.
Moving from
the, "Daily
Planet," is the worst decision I have ever made.
Other TBI Survivors are not so fortunate.
Eventually, the lack of support, the loneliness and the ridicule they face is so horrible,
they take their own life. I have lived, and am living it. While I would never do something
like that, I can understand the depression and despair that would lead someone else
to commit suicide. I can not understand why we are so indifferent to the needs of
our disabled brothers and sisters they would feel they have no other option?
It seems, to me, school is the proper environment to teach people to empathize and care
for each other. Instead we are taught to ridicule, humiliate and avoid students that
have survived accidents that used to kill everyone that had the misfortune to encounter one.
The case for reform our system of Higher Education can not be made better,
than the rationale by UCSC for what they did to me. They provided the spark, fuel
and gasoline
for the fire that consumed
my life.
The "Assistant Chancellor/Chief of Staff",
in this pdf (from UCSC),
implied what
happened to me was my fault. Yeah, right. Consider this:
If UCSC Chancellor George Blumenthol had been dependent on DSS, DSPS and DRC
for his undergraduate education, he would have a similar academic record to mine. It
might have taken him an additional 24 years of dropped, repeated
and failed classes to acquire basic knowledge of his major - it did me.
Is there
any graduate school in the world foolish enough to
accept a student that took 26 years to acquire his undergraduate
knowledge for his major?
I find it ironic that one of the people that works for
him is justifying and rationalizing the
very system that would have prevented undergraduate George Blumenthol from
becoming his boss.
A student riding in a train looks up to see Albert Einstein struggling
through the other passengers near the door. Einstein forces his way into
the crowded car,
looks around, spies the vacant seat next to
the student and gestures. The student nods and Einstein makes his way through the passengers
and luggage and sinks into the empty seat beside him.
The student is beside himself. He is sitting next to the most famous man in America.
He tells himself to remain calm, to act unperturbed. The student finally decides he is going to start a conversation with
the man sitting next to him. To demonstrate his ignorance
and therefore indifference
to the status of the man seated beside him
he coolly asks, "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
If the Staff people (women) who deliberately denied me the educational
opportunity to use my mind were fired, arrested and
prosecuted for violating their client's rights and torturing him (me): I would
not be happy, I would not be sad: they would be getting what they deserve.
It can not compensate me for what they have
done to my life.
It will, however, show that these bullies are accountable for their actions. It will also
validate the skill and training of the men and women who saved my life and their dedication
to proper care for my injuries which prevented me from being paralyzed, for which
I will always be grateful.
By publishing my experience of these people,
I intend to expose their cruel hoax of an education for me and the fraud that it is. I
am not unique in my disability. TBI is a 'new' disability. Until
recently, TBI killed everyone that suffered it. Now we are
surviving formerly lethal accidents, incidents
and Military mishaps. People are employed to help us acquire the education necessary
to live more productive lives. They are not being paid to treat us like freaks and waste
our lives.
Anthony Walton
DSS, DSPS and DRC tried to change my sexual orientation and
consistantly
denied me accommodation for my disability: both are definitions of torture -
because I was disabled, nobody cared about me (their assumption) and
they could get away with it (it never occurred to them that I could or would publish
what they had done to me).
Until I was disabled, I had no idea what was going on.
I intend to expose these sadistic women so that
people are aware of, who and what they are. By doing so, I hope
other TBI survivors can avoid what was done to me.
Higher Education for People who have
Experienced and Survived a Head Injury.
This is what happened to a middle class male who had the good fortune to survive a traumatic accident without
being paralyzed, but was unlucky
to try and continue his education.
