I Cogitate
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A Friday Laugh Or Two
We've got a lot more to say, especially about how the GOP has transformed America into the United States of Torture, but let's ease back the throttle today. Hopefully, you'll have a laugh or two from the following:
There are many hackneyed sayings by now about someone's lack of brainwaves activity but we hadn't seen these before:
- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
- All foam, no beer.
- Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
- Dpesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
- Forgot to pay his brain bill.
- Surfing in Nebraska.
- Too much yardage between the goal posts.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
- Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability. - Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. - Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. - Oliver North:
National Security was at stake. - Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. - Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. - Jack Nicholson:
Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. - Ronald Reagan:
I forget. - Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. - Kafka:
Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen. - Macbeth:
To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er. - Hamlet:
That is not the question.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
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