I Cogitate
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The un-coalition of the un-willing, here and abroad
First, there was the un-cola, an 7-UP ad popularized many years ago. Now we have the un-coalition of the un-willing.
With George Bush leaning towards more troops in Iraq as a prelude to his much-bantered 'successful victory' there and the U.S. military at a breaking point and struggling with handing out third and fourth troop assignments to the Middle East, what's the better answer to more boots on the ground?
Hey, where are all those troops from that vaunted 'coalition of the willing'? Remember them bosom buddies? Over 90% American was that coalition but let's not nitpick. Won't them 10 percenters graciously cough up some additional troops?
Oh, that's right. Spain elected a new leader, as did Italy, (regained sanity is another way to term it) so don't expect troop offers from either of these countries. Costa Rica bailed out and took the helmet they were providing with them. The Netherlands and the Ukraine also have said sayanora or something to that effect. Poland was scheduled to depart at the end of this month but hooked up for another six months. Mongolia is still there though. South Korea is reducing troop levels but will stay for another year.
That leaves the UK and Australia being the only nations with any significant military deployment beyond the size of F Troop (is this too old of a cultural reference?) And Tony Blair isn't exactly in a position of political power with damning material emerging daily and his own party itching to toss him overboard. Politically, John Howard could reinforce the Aussie troop level but Howard is nearing the end of his long reign and seems focused on achieving in-country accomplishments before he steps down. Ten of thousands more Australian military personnel headed to the Middle East is not a distraction Howard needs since eight former Aussie military chiefs recently said the coalition strategy had failed and must be overhauled.
What about Russia? Yeah, they never joined in when that first awesome band of brothers was being assembled but Bush saw the light of Putin's soul. Remember: "I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul..." Guess this is yet another example of George finding things that don't seem to exist.
China? No, they're to busy financing America's debt. And besides, China is cozying up to ANYONE who will sell them oil which makes them downright un-American, check that, just like America. Those copycats.
What to do? What to do?
Isn't Don Rumsfeld is looking for work? He must desperately want to redeem his soiled reputation. I say hand him a rifle and a one way ticket to Anbar Province. Plus, I've heard Dick Cheney is a crack shot...Yes, that's the answer! George should send his personal coalition of the willing to the Middle East...Huh?...what's that George?...Oh, your guys were only willing to send others to such a fate because, of course, they were simultaneously engaged in furious, mano-a-mano battle on the homefront, dodging IEDs from the traitorous liberal press and the congressional which-way-is-the-wind-blowing-today crowd--that dangerously insurgent crowd of mangy lapdogs and political cowards. Heck, a White House press conference is a battlefront of its own.
Well George, don't forget to medal all your 'home troops' George--their 'courage' in doing anything and everything to make you feel better cannot be underestimated and their indifference to anyone or anybody else is unmatched.
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