I Cogitate

• Can anyone confirm that President Bush and Vice President Cheney, in lieu of debates, have challenged ("bring 'em on" were the actual words used) the Democratic insurgents Johns Kerry and Edwards, to a Texas steel cage 'wrassling' match. We hear the two hangups are the Republican demand that the Supreme Court, en masse, be sanctioned as the referees and that the location of the event be Abu Ghraib Prison in Iraq. If it's a go, the winners get to preen and prance under a 'Mission Accomplished' banner on an aircraft carrier of their choice...
  
  
• A little bird whispered to us that instead of a Christmas tree in the White House come December, a Bandar Bush, adorned with ornaments and lights, will be in the West Wing...
  
  
• Is it true that NBC has actual footage of Katie Couric bouncily shouting out "the School of the Americas demonstrators rock"?...
  
  
• Heard-on-the-street: the Pentagon is refusing to acknowledge that the most effective method of getting enemy combatants to talk is repeated playing, at any volume, of John Ashcroft's "Let The Eagle Soar." The International Red Cross is investigating whether this qualifies as abuse and is covered by the Geneva Conventions...
  
  
• Last week's Ann Coulter rabies episode was a tempest in a coffee pot. With Coulter emerging from a Starbucks with foam dripping off her muzzle, an over-excited Homeland Security official failed to notice the latte Coulter was clutching and mistakenly issued a Code Red national alert. As a reward for such vigilance, said official is now the frontrunner for the 9/11 Commission-proposed position of National Director of Intelligence."

 RSS feed