Back to Rhubarb Pie
Separately, five really big guys go to a show and decide
they'd enjoy running full force at each other. Because of their need for
some male bonding, a huge circle opens up around them so that they can
beat each other up. This circle could fit a good ten to twelve people who
just wanted to dance, not to mention that it just gets wider as the
people on the edge try to move away, creating a chain reaction so that
people don't have any room to dance, let alone enough room to find out
whose elbow is in their stomach. I'm sure you'll recognize this as a mosh
pit. Granted, its expected and welcome at a Metallica concert, but I
could sooner tell you the meaning of life than explain why this happens
at a ska show. I asked my friend about this predicament, and he gave the
simple explanation that wherever there's live music, there's going to be
a mosh pit. But it can't be that simple. I mean, how many mosh pits break
out at a Barry White show?
Half the time, a band will stop mid-song and tell the moshers to
knock it off. All of us in favor of no fatalities will applaud the bands
effort, knowing full well that the moshers will go about their business
as soon as the music starts again. I mean, they are not paying attention
to the band anyway. If they were, they might realize that skanking is a
bit more fun than a bloody nose. But alas, the circle forms again and
somebody breaks a rib.
I always claim my dancing territory away from the floor, so this
moshing problem doesn't really pose any direct problem to me, but I get
annoyed nonetheless when I see a mosh pit turn innocent skankers into
innocent pancakes. So, the question arises of what to do about this major
disruption in the concert-going experience. A person unfortunately can't
be kicked out for moshing (though Ed Lowery of MagaDog once screamed at a
guy until he left the floor. I almost had an orgasm.) and the first
amendment indirectly states "Thou shalt dance however thou pleases", but
I still say there must be away. Has anyone just started dancing in the
middle of a mosh pit? I'd thought about trying that, but was too afraid
of leaving the circle with someone's fist up my nose. Maybe we could buy
them all tickets to an Earth Crisis show. Who knows? But it seems that
we are stuck with them for now. Could be that a few more kids need to die
moshing to get the message across, but my hopes are that minimal loss of
life will be needed for the extinction of injury circle. All I can really
think of to say to these people who so gracefully dismember
each other is "Hey, some of us are trying to enjoy the show. Grow up
already."
-Jason Feifer