Rude Girl has come across a problem. Her Honey is coming to pick her up
for the Let's Go Bowling show in five minutes. She has on a very sharp
outfit; her makeup is perfected and her hair is placed in impeccable
shape and form. However, Rude Girl's feet are bare and she hasn't decided
what shoes to wear. She sits upon her checkered bedspread and cringes
in irritation. Shoe choice is very important to Rude Girl. Rude Girl
loves to dance. She knows that if she chooses the wrong pair, then the
night could be ruined.
A Rude Girl's Guide to Shoes
Black Penny Loafers - though absolutely stunning with her traditional
threads, Rude Girl better think about her toes, the leather is soft,
flimsy, and not very smart when dancing by some stomping enthusiast. On
one occasion, she was donning her loafers and dancing excitedly to the band.
During the apex of her dancing frenzy, she lifted her skank a little
higher and her loafer fell right off. As luck would have it, the
skanking patrons near her kicked it further into the crowd, underneath a
group of kids utilizing the pogo action, like some grape-stomping rage.
So, one loafer was crushed beyond recognition, she had to sit out the
rest of the show by the bar, watching the kids with shoes dance happily.
Black high heels - Rude Girl wanted to look her sharpest for her Honey.
A dress looks best with those sleek and pretty black high heels and
fishnets. When she opened the door for Honey, he did gasp in amazement at
her beauty. She pranced along to the car, buzzing with the after affects
of the whistles from Honey. She got to the show. Her happy disposition
was crushed when inconsiderate dancers "accidentally" came crashing down
onto the exposed, but great looking shoes. Some rude boy jumped up and
before she had time or room to move, his nice dress shoe came crashing
down onto her foot. Ouch. Rude Girl should have weighed out the cost of
beauty with practicality. In this instance, the beauty meter ranked very
high, but the logic of safety and functionality was the lowest ever,
practically in the negatives. The high heeled shoe is not logical if you
want to dance without injury. But, damn they look good.
Dr. Marten Boots - Rude Girl thought, "These babies are dependable. Not
only will they protect, but they will look sharp all polished up."
However, address doesn't look as sharp with these, and Honey loves her in
skirts. But, these boots are a gift from heaven. She decided that she
would have to talk
to Honey about wearing some trousers so she could wear her boots.
Steeled-toed brogues - her pride and joy of footwear. Rude Girl loves
these shoes to death. They are extremely sharp and stylish; the two-
toned leather looks absolutely sweet with a dress, slacks, or a skirt
suit. The steeled-toed tips serve as protection, and a tool to give a
little nudge to that annoying bitch who keeps skanking into her. The
only disadvantage Rude Girl can think of is the weight of the shoe
itself. Last night Rude Girl went gallivanting about town with these
babies, she had very tired feet.
They are very heavy shoes, and could get in the way of dancing.
Excessive weight is hindering to dancing, especially when the music moves
Rude Girl the most and she can sweep herself away because of her shoes.
Steeled-toed brogues- Rude Girls best friend bought her a pair of checkered Vans
the other day. She was tickled at her friends consideration. So, she
wore the sneakers to school, the post office, the library, and the
mini-mart. But, Rude Girl wanted to wear something special to the show.
Sneakers are logical, after all, dancing is aerobic exercise for some!
People will still bombard her toes with crashing blows, and the canvas
and leather wont prevent a big bruise from forming. But, they are good
shoes, safe and dependable but have no style or pizzazz that she like to
don when going to a special show.
Saddle shoe - a hard to find two-tone classic that could interchangeably
serve as a bowling shoes with its soft soles. Finding a pair of these
in good shape is like a just happening to find the scooter of your
dreams of your doorstep with a big red bow embellishing its handlebars
(virtually impossible). The leather cracks quickly. As with all
lighter colored footwear, dancing in saddle shoes at shows are a pain in
my belly. Sure, sometimes people are inconsiderate and step on your feet.
Wearing saddle shoes in these occasions leaves an irremovable black marking
across the brilliant white. When Rude Girl wakes up in the morning to see her
mangled shoe with black streak mocking her with her presence, Rude Girl is
pissed that she ruined her special shoes. Boo-hoo!
A Rude Girl must consider beauty vs. Fashion when picking what shall
adorn her feet for this skanking session. Honey came to pick her up, and
Rude Girl greeted him wearing her steel-toed brouges. After all, if she
got tired, she would just have Honey carry her. To all those other Rude
Girls out there, have fun and dance some more! ~ Miss Renee; Rude Girl
extrodinarie.