Stuff I (or folks I know) Wrote


StoriesThe Corner Store     |    Strasse der Nacht

Poems:  (none posted yet)

Misc:    (okay, I confess, this is mostly stuff written by others).
no cow     |    deep thoughts

Writing is always a good pastime; largely because it promotes reading, but even writings which are not shared with anyone else can still benefit the author... they serve as a way to reveal, organize, and take a look at our thoughts and ideas.  Unfortunately, I don't write much these days, unless you count email (and I see no reason you should), or my journal (which I won't be sharing here).  I intend to change that as soon as an idea nags at me long enough to get through my fingers and the intervening pencil, pen, keyboard, whatever into a more permanent place.  I find that such ideas are harder to come by in the Silicon Valley lifestyle filled with distractions...

So if you'd like to see some ideas which escaped, scroll down or click one of the links at the top.  I hope you will enjoy it.
Comments welcome -- if they're too negative/unconstructive, I can hit that Delete button as well as anyone  ;)


The Corner Store

I wrote this one back in high school, early 1988 if I remember correctly.  I had a lot of images floating around in my head, and at some point they banded together and decided to make a break for it.  I strung them together and was surprised at some of the cohesion.  I rewrote it slightly and submitted it later in a creative writing course at Humboldt State University -- that's the version you see here.
I've got it here in
PDF format -- if you don't have Acrobat Reader and can't figure out where to get it, let me know and I'll email you a copy in MS Word format (if you ask nicely in four rhyming lines)

Strasse der Nacht


Well, in that same HSU creative writing class, I had another story due and hadn't come up with any major ideas.  I was running out of time, and thought -- hey, how about a continuation of The Corner Store?  I sat down and reread the original story, then brainstormed for a bit, and determined I had enough for a relevant sequel.  Then two days before the due date, it became painfully clear that I'd better do some actual writing.  I had a long night ahead of me, so I thought I'd try some Jolt cola.  I went down to the student store and bought 2 bottles.  I drank both rather quickly, on a mostly empty stomach.  Don't try this at home.  Don't try this at work.  Just don't try this at all.  Needless to say, I began feeling a bit ill and disoriented (and awake -- at least I achieved my original goal), so I spent my time wandering the halls of my dorm, attempting to decide whether to be sick or not.  I eventually decided against it, and to my surprise, I'd also produced about 9 handwritten pages of text.  After a few hours of sleep, I made my way to the computer and typed this in, largely intact from the handwritten.  This is also PDF format; you can email me for an MS Word copy (please include your favorite dumb joke)






* So ya wanna hear my favorite dumb joke?  No?  Well, it's probably too late because I've set it apart to draw your eye, and you've undoubtedly read it already before you knew any better...  mwahhahahahahahhhh

Q:  Which has more legs, one cow or no cow?
A:  Well, one cow has 4 legs; no cow has more than that!

Deep Thoughts

Here's a nice idea which I've shamelessly stolen from Saturday Night Live.  None of these come courtesy of Jack Handee, however; they're all mine (or friends, as indicated).  Sometimes you just have to record things for posterity.  Other times you don't.

1)  (me, 22 July 1999):  Do vampires drink stage blood when they're on a diet?  If you drink your own blood, is that a net gain or net loss in nutrients?

Yes, it's a short list at the moment.  You calling me shallow?  ;)  Note that if you really go for this sort of thing, consult a master and read George Carlin's bestseller, Brain Droppings.  You won't be disappointed (but if you are anyway, so am I).