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Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.

Yakko: Come in, be a smarty
       The shindig's 'bout to starty
Wakko: The gang's all here
Dot  : Let's give a cheer
YW+D : For the big wrap party tonight
Wakko: There's chow galore
Dot  : So open the door
YW+D : To the big wrap party tonight
Yakko: We're dining buffet style
       With food from every nation
       So plan to stop a while
       And join the celebration
Wakko: They've come for fun and feastin'
Dot  : We've even let the Beast in
YW+D : Let's go hors d'oeuvre-in'
       And see what they're servin'
       At the big wrap party tonight
YW+D : There's manicotti for Dotty
       Soft shell taco for Yakko
       And Wakko is ready
       For a truck load of spaghetti
       At the big wrap party tonight
       Hello Nurse is eating liverwurst
       Thaddeus Plotz has red hots
       Ralph the Guard is cooking with lard
       The apron that's cute is Dot's
Wakko: Take a whiff, Dr. Scratchansniff
Dot  : No veal in the meal for Miss Flamiel
YW+D : The Flame keeps a-glowin'
       The punch bowl's overflowin'
       At the big wrap party tonight
       The Randy Beaman kid
       Is eatin' fried squid
       At the big wrap party tonight
Wakko: The pasta by Pesto is the besto
Dot  : Bobby helps Squit, who's choking on a pit
Yakko: The cheese balls are nectar
       To Mr. Director
YW+D : At the big wrap party tonight
       The great Wakkorotti
       Has gone to the potty
       At the big wrap party tonight
Yakko: Runt bakes the bundt cakes
Dot  : A pocket of pita for Rita
YW+D : Nuttin' but mutton
       For Mindy and Buttons
       Sylvester wants a parakeet-ah
Yakko: Katie Ka-Boom can clear out a room
Wakko: A pie, key lime
Dot  : Is headed for the mime
YW+D : Chicken Boo
       Is eating tiramisu
       At the big wrap party tonight
       The entire crew
       Came from Acme Loo
       For the big wrap party tonight
YW+D : Get another nappy for Slappy
       More bean dippy for Skippy
       Extra chippos for the Hip Hippos
       The Brain's eating pizza that's drippy
       Minerva's leavin' with Steven
       A hot cocoa drinky for Pinky
       Yakko and Wakko
       Don't allow tobacco
       At the big wrap party tonight
       It's happy hour
       In the water tower
       At the big wrap party tonight
YW+D : In our 'toon careers
       These are the golden years
       We've loved the jokes
       So thank you folks
       You've eaten your fill
       Now here's the bill
       For the big wrap party
Yakko: Pay with your credit cardy
YW+D : At the big wrap party tonight
       The big wrap party tonight
Transcribed by Steve Kramer

Lyrics from ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO CLOCK (Episode 83)
by Nicholas Hollander, Jeff Kwitny and Tom Ruegger

Rocket Rat (parody of Mighty Mouse)

Chorus: Mister Annoying never makes a sound
        When Rocket Rat flies into town
Rocket: Here I come to rescue you...
Chorus: Rocket Rat, your rodent true blue.
Rocket: (spoken) But first, a nap.

Lyrics from CUTIE AND THE BEAST (Episode 84)
by Kevin Hopps

Cutie and the Beast (parody of Beauty and the Beast)
Music by Julie Bernstein.

Singers: Certain is what we are
         Of what you like the least
         Snails on your lawn
         Songs that go on and on
         Cutie and the Beast
         Snails on your lawn
         Songs that go on and on
         Cutie and the Beast.

Dot (parody of Belle)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Belle     : Charming places
            With quaint singing faces
Dot       : Singing tunes that you've heard before!
            Every one a bigger bore
Townsfolk : People like you and me
Yakko     : All singing way off key

Dot       : Look at me
            I'm in a musical
            Look at me
            I sing confusical

Blacksmith: She says she's singing; how can you tell?
Appleman  : It's like a funny smell
Dot       : You're just jealous 'cause I sing so well!
            La la la la la la la.

Washwoman : The lyrics couldn't get much worse
Y+W       : Helloooo, nurse!
Blacksmith: This endless song makes me want to curse -- OW!
Yakko     : Now you move to the next verse!

Dot       : Have some pie
Wakko     : I'll try it
Mother    : Why oh why
            Can't she just be quiet?
Dot       : La la la la la la la la--
Baby      : Wah!

Hunter    : She's causing such a din
YW+Dog    : Arooooo!
Hunter    : I can't tell what key she's in

AllFolks  : But she really is a funny girl
            A cutie, but a funny girl
            She really sings a lot
Dot       : La laaaa--
AllFolks  : That's Dot!
            Now get on with the plot!

Be a Pest (parody of Be Our Guest)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Yakko: You know, if she keeps on being pushy
       She'll be thrown out on her tushie
Wakko: All she needs is his affection
Yakko: What he needs is police protection.
       For a beast, he is the very, very best
Y+W  : But she's a pest, she's a pest, she's a pest!

(Taz throws them out)
Taz  : And don't come back!
(but they do)

Yakko: While she may have been forward
Wakko: Acting out of her gourd
Yakko: We simply must insist
       You did more than just resist
Wakko: You threw her out!
Yakko: What a lout!
Dot  : To say the least
       You were a beast!
Wakko: How you acted was a crime
       Now I'm afraid...
Y+W  : ...it's payback time.

Yakko: We will slide
Wakko: We will hide
Yakko: We'll do things you can't abide
Wakko: And we'll do all kinds of tricks
       Just for kicks.
Yakko: Your troubles we're enjoying
Wakko: And we're so annoying
Y+W  : We are pests, we are pests, we are pests!

(Dot takes the magic flower)
Dot  : He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me n--.
(Taz takes it)
Taz  : Put that away!
(Taz throws them out)
Taz  : Now go, go, go!

Yakko: If your host throws you out
       There's no need for you to pout
       And should they change all the locks
       Just come back with a big gift box.


Yakko: (spoken) Uhhh, you're Taz, aren't you.
Taz  : Uh, me no Taz!
Wakko: Could you do that thing -- that funny thing that you do?
Taz  : Waulgh!
Wakko: No, that's not it!
Taz  : Umm... Waigh ih ih ih ih!
Yakko: Nah, that's not it either. Y'know -- the funny thing!
Dot  : Can we finish this cartoon??
Yakko: All right...
YW+D : (sung) We are pests, we are pests, we are pests!

Yakko: As you can surely tell
Wakko: It's a job that we do well
Yakko: So should you be at someone's house
       When they're acting like a louse
Wakko: Be like us
       Make a fuss
Y+W  : And be a pest, be a pest, be a pest!

Yakko: Grab your host, give a squeeze
       Maybe somewhere 'round the knees
Wakko: You're his guest; cheer him up!
(Taz: Ugh...)
Yakko: No, no, please don't interrupt
       Tweak a nose, pull some ears
       Swing him from the chandeliers
Wakko: Watch him go to and fro
Yakko: Ah, see, now you're a pro.
       Yes, you deserve a great big hand
       Because now you know you can
Y+W  : Be a pest, be a pest, be a pest!
Thanks to Tom Ruegger for his assistance in the lyric transcription

NOEL (Episode 84)
Music traditional (The First Noël). Lyrics by Randy Rogel.

Yakko: What are you doing, Wakko?
Wakko: I'm writing a letter a Santa, telling him what I want
       for Christmas.
Yakko: Wait a minute -- hold the phone! That's not how you
       spell `Santa'.
Wakko: It isn't?
Yakko: No; you've got it all wrong.
Wakko: Well, how do you spell it, then?

Yakko: To spell Santa's name
       Is easy to do
       You write S, A, N, T
       And another A, too.
       But no L, no L
       Santa's name has no L
       And he won't be too pleased
       If you don't learn to spell.

Wakko: Jack and Jill went up the hill
       To fetch water from a well
       But when neither one could find it
       Jill started to yell.
Dot  : No well, no well
       Can't believe there's no well!
       We walked all the way here
       And I'm mad, can't you tell.

Yakko: Captain Ahab took his crew
       His harpoon and set sail
       And he called out to ships
Ahab : Have you seen the white whale?
Crew : No whale, no whale
       No, we ain't seen no whale
Man 1: Saw a couple of dolphins
Man 2: And a big yellowtail.

YW+D : If you've listened to this tune
       Then you probably can tell
       That you've heard it before
       It's a song you know well.
       Know well, know well
       It's a song you know well
       And we've ruined it completely
       So we all say, "Oh well."
       Oh well, oh well
       We'll just say, "Fare thee well"
       Merry Christmas to you
       And a joyous Noël.

Lyrics from JOKAHONTAS (Episode 85)
by Earl Kress

Indian Chant (parody of Steady as the Beating Drum)
Music by Julie Bernstein.

Singers: Hey-ya, three four
         Who is it that we're for?
         Hey-ya, three four
         Who do we all cheer for?

         From his tipi he will come
         Chief Yakhatan, proud and strong
         From the hunt brave Wakko-Um
         Will return before too long.

         Hey-ya, three four
         Is Wakko-Um a warrior?
         Hey-ya, five six
         Or is he up to his old tricks?

Just the Same Old Heroine (parody of Just Around the Riverbend)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Pocadotas: Father, I can't get married now!
           There's a great big crazy world out there,
           and I have a feeling there's something better for me!
Yakhatan : Say, this plot is beginning to sound familiar...

Y+W  : You feel like this is déjà vu
       A girl who thinks that she wants more
       The music starts; you find that you are humming.
       It's OK, then it dawns on you
       You've seen this story before
       Now you're stuck, and you know what is coming.

       Just the same old heroine
       Just a re-run heroine
       You've seen before
Dot  : First I tuned an aerial
Y+W  : Again once more
Dot  : Then I rang a bell
Y+W  : This music score
YW+D : The Schloscar it will win
       With the same old heroine.
       It worked once; why not again?

YW+D : We have got your seven bucks
       Why should we try something new?
       We know you'll buy the video
       Your money, we will rake it in.

Dot  : Our formula
       That's called entertainment
YW+D : Just a retread heroine!

John Smith and Company (parody of The Virginia Company)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Smith: Men, we're after something better than gold --

Smith: We're sailing to the New World
       Rough seas don't worry me
       We'll make the trip with ease
       For it's John Smith and company!

       We'll raise up the flag unfurled
       For the treasures that we'll see
       We'll take whate'er we please
       'Cause we're John Smith and company!
SB+J : Take whate'er we please
       'Cause we're John Smith and company!

Ice Cream Song (sung to Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 by Franz Liszt)
YW+D    : Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry
          Mint, rocky road and some bing cherry
          Chocolate chip and bubble gum
          In cup or cone,
Jerome  :                 Hey, I'll take some!
YW+D    : French vanilla, mocha coffee
          Butter pecan, English toffee
          Walnut, peanut butter cup
          Orange sherbet,
Wakko   :                 Fill me up!

YW+D    : Sundaes
          We make on Mondays
          With butterscotch, whipped cream and cherry
Yakko   : Not so fast! Whoa! What's your hurry?
YW+D    : Toppings
          Pile on the toppings
          With gumdrops, cookies and a jimmy
Jerome  : I want it!
Benjamin:            Please gimme gimme!

* Smith : (spoken) There's no song like this in the movie.
* Yakko : I know, but we got hungry.
* Smith : Double dip for me -- strawberry.

YW+D    : Marble fudge and cappuccino
          Cream and cookies,
Wakko   :                    That one's keen-o!
YW+D    : Cheesecake, neapolitan
Benjamin: You can't have it!
Jerome  :                    Yes I can!
YW+D    : Now we've sung you every flavor
          Which one would you like to savor?
          One more thing to set its fame
          We forgot to tell its name.
          So we scream: "It's ice cream!"

* - In the original script, these lines were:

Smith: (spoken) There's no song like this in the movie.
Yakko: I know. This song is good!
Smith: Point well taken. Carry on.
Lyrics provided by the author

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