love
& death
but that's crazy
she tells me
to think you of
all people
could just give
up on life
it makes me so sad
to hear this
she says
and I tell her
don't be sad
but
she says
you have so much
love
in you so much love
you could never
want
to give up with
so much
love and I tell her
that's it alright
that's why
and she's lost
in this
it was always love
I knew
that would kill
me
I tell her
nothing is meaner
harder
nothing is worse
than love
there is more love
than
shit in the world
more love
than water or dirt
more love than
anything else
more terrible crushing
overwhelming fucking
love than anything
and she looks at
me like
I'm speaking to
her
in Chinese
and it's all I care
about
I tell her
love is
I don't care about
anything else at
all
oh I do when I'm
supposed to but
not
for long not well
not
if there's love
around
or a chance of love
and most love is
only
a chance of love
only a facade
something else
behind it
the judge looks at
me
and I'm thinking
about love
and the judge decides
and I don't care
who the fuck cares
I know I'm supposed
to care
but what about love
somebody tell me
what and I
wander off again
and they tire of
me
and they quit poking
at me
and I end up like
now
here at this bar
again
if there's any love
if there could be
I go
nuts over it I can't
get enough of it
because there is
never enough of
it
when and where you
need it
there's only too
much of it
when you sit looking
out the window
at it
and only too much
of my love
my love is a bear
that wants the
biggest hug
and you'll know this
if you let me love
you
I'll love you to
death
probably mine
as you'll want to
kill me
to get rid of me
you'll say
cut it out
with all the love
all the time
take it easy
you're making me
sore
too much love
not enough love
they play ball
in my head
nobody wins
this is why the idea
of giving up is
always
so seductive
because love
in the end
is not
because love is
always out of balance
the scales come
down
on my side like
I'm
the fat kid on the
see-saw
crashing down on
my
butt-bone
over and
over crashing down
on
my love-bone
and since there's
not
enough love
anywhere
except where you
can't
get at it
in which case
it fucking overflows
what would be
really fun would
be
killing yourself
finally denying
love
saying fuck you
love
think of this
what if you could
kill yourself
and then come back
and kill yourself
and then come back
and kill yourself
and then come back
I'm not saying you
could but
some people
think so
this would be so
much
fun you know it
would
there are so many
wonderful ways
to kill yourself
every junkie is
just dying
to do this
all you need is enough
money
for one good OD
and bingo
out you go
on a white cloud
and then you come
back
and save up and
bingo
that floating feeling
so fine
like flying off
a tall building
the problem with
all this of course
is the same problem
as always
love
you come back
maybe but even if
you do
it's as a little
baby
and your parents
use you
as a scapegoat or
a
punching bag and
eat your love and
spit it back
in your face I mean
it's always like
that
right?
and you have to grow
up
and deal with all
the
love crap all
over again
darling I love you
go away we're just
kids
darling I love you
fuck off bozo
darling I love you
yes dear thank you
for
the money now leave
darling I love you
somebody
listen
so it takes years
with all these distractions
to save up the money
to get old enough
to
make the purchase
buy the white cloud
so you can finally
love yourself to
death
only to come back
as a little kid
again
and there's nothing
worse than being
a little kid
unless of course
somebody loves you
I guess
but don't go counting
on that
so yes I have all
this
love in me and it
makes death seem
a beautiful thing
and you will
get fucking tired
of it
soon enough
the love that is
I promise you
and then what
then nothing
but enough talk
about love
or about me
the big issues aren't
what really matters
it's the little
things
what's your sign
again --
did you tell me
that
before
do you come here
often
you look like someone
I used to know
no really have you
been
here much -- I'd
like
to score a fix or
two
if you know someone
but never mind that
now
let me buy
another round
and your voice and
you have such lovely
hair you really
do
you know
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