WHAT DO ALIENS WANT?
Physicist, heal thyself
Submit to Alien Pleasure Rays
Before We let you board a starship
We'd like to teach humanity to play
We'd love to show you yesterday
when yesterday was called "today".
We'll need to wean you from your "X-and-Y"s and "pi"s
And feed you ribs, and naked breasts and tender thighs
Before we help humanity to fly
We'd like to see how passionate you cry
We'll even teach you how to nicely die.
Before we let you in the Pan-Galactic Club
We'll show you how attentively to rub
Rub shoulders, haunches, crotches, tendrils, feet
Of lovely mindful lifeforms in quantum wave-entangled heaps
of expressive hairy strangers with the strangest sexual needs
that too much astral travelling at extra-light-fast speeds
can bring about.
Don't ask Us: how much, how many and what for?
Make love just once with Us then open up for more
Before We open up for you that well-kept Secret Door
to nature and the Bigger Tribes next door
to hypersexual pan-galactic corridors
to alien wolf packs, fairy kingdoms,
outlaw gangs galore
and all the million billion secrets of amor.
Please open up, amigos, unclench yourselves, invite Us in
We'll show you fifteen hundred different types of sin
and fifty million kinds of lovely pleasuring
From deep red-shifted clusters, spiral nebula beyond the Rim
From love-sick quantum creatures neither It nor They nor She & Him Accept
Of pleasure tools, telepathy, Empath Juice and Wisdom Weed
Of bulging bulbous sacks of alien eggs and seed
And eight new senses that your race will really need
for space travel.
Open up for Me: I think you'll really like it.
Open up for Me: I feel you'll really like it.
Open up for Me: I know you'll really like it.
Come live with Me and be My Love
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dale and field
And all the craggy mountains yield.
So we may all the pleasures prove
Come live with Me and be My Love.