Dear Herbalist,
I don't know why you're bad mouthing my good friend Steven Schwartz.
He is not gay or stupid. In fact, he is a real stud muffin! Yes, I
fucked him many a time, and each one was more enlightening than the last.
And
his balls are enormous! I doubt you'd find bigger balls on an elephant.
And when he comes it's like pearls raining from heaven. They hang in
the air magically, and I like to try to catch them like snowflakes. I
don't know the physics of why they fall so slowly. Maybe Jack can explain.
SS is VERY famous, I've seen him speaking to crowds, who stop rioting
at the sound of his voice, and by the end of his words, fall into
orgiastic embraces, strangers falling into the arms of strangers. I've
tagged
along with him to prisons, when he visited lifers, consoling them, giving
them
solace through igniting their intelligence of their innate immortality through
universal
selflessness and interdependence. He secretly stopped various world wars
through
special mental acrobatics that stopped nukes dead in their tracks!
Yes, he saved the world. But it still doesn't compare to his amazing
sexual prowess. He doesn't mention it, because he is so humble. But in
fact he
is like a male version of the ancient holy whores, who healed through their
skills in love. It may sound like an insult, but when he calls you a ho,
it is
really a jest of comaraderie. Sometimes, he has fucked dozens of lonely,
desperate women in one night, and they have come away calmed, with a new
sense of
purpose and capability in life, feeling rejuvenated, beautified.
I know he wouldn't want me to give away all his secrets like this. But
I've seen him walking away into the night, after fulfilling me completely,
and
each footfall left a luminescent golden footprint. Being an egg-head in
a
think tank for the Illuminati is no easy task. How do you keep the world
on beam,
heading for its destiny of producing the God-machine that will retro-create
the
very basis of reality. How do you keep humans competitive enough to be
creative but stop them just short of mutual destruction, allowing free choice
even as
you love all in your omnipotence?
Love, Kelly
ps. My friends call me jelly belly because I am so fat. Just thought I'd
prime
the nickname pump.