AP Wire Service Exclusive.


Santa Cruz, CA--In an apparent attempt to upstage Doctor Nick Herbert's
bid for the next Nobel Peace Prize, Nick's shady Arab alter ego Doctor Jabir 'abd al-Khaliq
has announced what he tactlessly insists on calling "Jabir's Final Solution"
to the Israeli-Palestinean Problem. Doctor Jabir claims that
all it takes is "a single gesture by the world's most powerful man" to resolve
this half-century-old conflict in such a way that both sides will benefit -- thus realizing
the eternally elusive win-win solution to the problem of Middle-Eastern terrorism.

Doctor Jabir plans to make his solution public a full month before Herbert's
launch date for his purported "new upgrade of the Golden Rule".
Insiders say that Herbert's moral upgrade will be free but Jabir's Solution
apparently comes with a hefty sticker price.

"I'm asking one billion US dollars from the current US administration if Jabir's Solution
or any of its variants is initiated within the next ten years," said the confident Arab
speaking at his lawyer's beachfront home in Santa Cruz.

"We Arabs invented arithmatic and gave it away for free. To appreciate the value of
this gift, try doing physics with Roman numerals. We Arabs invented algebra--which
NASA uses every day--and we gave that away too."

Doctor 'abd al-Khaliq requested that his billion dollars be awarded as an unrestricted
research grant to the Institute of Frontier Science in Oakland headed by Doctor Beverly Rubik,
Jabir's former colleague in alternative methods of healing.

"Jabir's Solution, by eliminating the central cause of World War Three, will materially delay
man's wholesale destruction of all life on Earth. A billion dollars is small change for saving the world,
don't you think?" the affable Arab remarked between puffs on his hookah.

Offering cakes, tea, and what appeared to be black Afghani hashish, to reporters from a dozen media outlets,
the canny Muslim evaded direct questions about the nature of his solution, repeating over and over, almost as a mantra,
the sing-song phrase, "A single dramatic gesture by the world's most powerful man...a single dramatic gesture will save the world."

Another question left unresolved after the Arab scholar's two-hour press conference was whether John Brockman,
Nick Herbert's literary agent, will be responsible for also negotiating the intellectual property rights
of one of Doctor Herbert's alternate personalities.


See also:
A Nobel for Nick?
Nobel Acceptance Speech
Stanford Grad Indicted for War Crimes
First Quantum Human Sighted
Jabir's Final Solution for Peace in Palestine
Weapon X--the Ultimate Atrocity