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Lyrics from HOOKED ON A CEILING (Episode 4)
by Gordon Bressack and Charles Howell IV

YW+D : If you need your ceiling painted come see us
       We will paint it better than a guy named Gus
       If it's flaking and it's peeling
       We will renovate your ceiling
       We will make it so appealing
       Come see us!
Dot  : Ceilings!
       Nothing more than ceilings!

Lyrics from TAMING OF THE SCREWY (Episode 5)
by Peter Hastings

The Studio Shrink

Yakko: Hello
Dot  : Doctor
Wakko: Scratchansniff!

YW+D : He asks a lot of questions
       To find out what we think
       He's Doctor Scratchansniff
       The studio shrink.

W+D  : He says,
Yakko:          "How do you feel?"
W+D  : We say, "With our hands!"
Yakko: "How do you stay together?"
W+D  : We use rubber bands!
Yakko: "I want to know your psyche!"
W+D  : There's two inside our skull!
Yakko: "Now what would you call that?"
W+D  : A bi-psyche skull!

YW+D : He knows our motivations
       That's what he'd like to think
       He's Doctor Scratchansniff
       The studio shrink!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom
The Etiquette Song
Yakko: When you walk into a party
       It's a formal universe
DrSns: Ja!
YW+D : So you jump up on your host
       And with a kiss say "Hello, Nurse!"
DrSns: No!
Yakko: Remember that good diction
       Reflects so well on you
DrSns: Ja!
YW+D : So practice all your vowel sounds
       By saying "AEIOUUUUU"
DrSns: No!
Yakko: To use the right utensil
       Is one of etiquette's demands
DrSns: Uuuuuggghhhh...
YW+D : So we recommend you throw them out
       And eat with your hands!
Yakko: A salad fork
Dot  : A dinner fork
Wakko: A butter knife
YW+D : A water glass
Yakko: A soup spoon
Dot  : A dinner knife
Wakko: A fork for eating pickled bass
YW+D : An oyster fork, dessert spoon, a napkin, and a finger bowl,
       A dinner spoon, a salad knife, a bread plate for your dinner roll!

YW+D : We've heard the rules you need to know to make that social climb
       But we'd rather spend our energy on having a good time!

WARNER (Episode 6)

Parody of Flipper

YW+D : They call us Warner, Warner
Y+W  : Brothers...
Dot  : ...and Sister.
Yakko: Ain't she a dish?
Dot  : And we taste just like fish!
YW+D : And the Warners stir up
       Cartoon confusion
       Causing contusions
       Wherever they swish!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom

WHAT ARE WE? (Episode 6)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.

Wakko: Maybe we are dogs
       Cute little dogs with ears
       Woof woof! (pant)
       And little tails that we can wag
       Hey! Let's go fetch his slippers and play tag!
DrSns: Hey, get off of me!

Dot  : Maybe I'm a cat
       Whaddaya think of that?
       A lovely cat that all the world adores
       And here's my kitty paws
       With little kitty claws
       Which I like to sharpen on your couch!
DrSns: Augghh! That's not funny!

Yakko: Maybe I'm a bunny
       Hopping 'round here happy as I please
       Or penguins and it's cold, which makes you sneeze.

Yakko: I've got it! Of course!
       Maybe I'm a horse
       I can live on oats and hay
       And laugh and run and jump and play
       And you can ride on me all day!
DrSns: No way!

Dot  : Hey, maybe I'm a skunk
DrSns: Oh boy, you really stink!
Yakko: A dinosaur might be some fun
DrSns: But then you'd be extinct.
Dot  : Maybe we're all insects
Wakko: Do you like bugs and bees?
DrSns: You kids are buggy in the head
Yakko: Maybe we're giant fleas!

Dot  : Maybe an electric eel
Wakko: Or a seal
Dot  : Get real!
       Hey wait a minute, I've got it now
DrSns: You do?!
Dot  : Yes, I do.
YW+D : We're not bees and we're not cats
       Or bugs or horses or things like that.
       What we are is clear and absolute!
       What we are, dear doctor...
Dot  : Is cute!
YW+D : Mmmmwah!
DrSns: I'm sorry I asked.

Lyrics from PIANO RAG (Episode 7)
by Nicholas Hollander

Yakko: 'Twas a guy named Joe from Kokomo
       Playing that piano rag
Wakko: He banged the keys with his head and his knees
       Playing that piano rag
Dot  : He twiddled with his toes and he diddled with his nose
       Playing that piano rag
YW+D : And when the day was done he had some fun
       Playing that piano rag!
YW+D : He was playing that piano rag!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom

Lyrics from WHEN RITA MET RUNT (Episode 7)
by Sherri Stoner

Humans Ain't What They Seem to Be

Rita: What's a human good for, anyway?

Runt: They pet you when they're sad
Rita: They smack you when you're bad
Runt: When you're hungry they definitely feed you.
Rita: Yeah, on vacation they leave you with hardly no food.
      Ring a bell, dude?
(Runt looks under dish and sighs)
Rita: Exactly my point.

Rita: Humans ain't what they seem to be
      They don't mean that much to me
      No, not much at all.
      When you're little and tiny
      They pet your cute hiney
      But then when you grow
      It's a simple no-show
      It's "shoo shoo off this"
      And "don't you dare scratch on that"
      If they call you at all
      It's always "dumb cat."
      Humans ain't what they seem to be
      They don't mean that much to me
      No, not much at all.
      But when it's all dark and quiet
      I try hard to fight it
      But I dream of home
      Then I won't have to roam
      Someone to feed me and put me to bed
      And scratch me just so on top of my head.
      But I ain't gonna love 'em
      Not gonna answer that call
      'Cause humans don't mean that much to me
      No, not much at all.
(bars fall away)

Rita: Who knew?
Transcribed by Michael Russell and Sean Brandenburg

WARNER'S LOT (Episode 8)

Parody of Gilligan's Island

Just listen up and you'll hear a tale
A tale of the Warner three
Went on the water tower
They did try to flee.
They shot into the puffy clouds
Some seeds to make it rain
And rain it did, so much in fact
The tower floated away,
All around L.A.
When the rain dried up
The tower was aground
On the Burbank lot
The Warner Brothers then escaped
With their sister Dot
And they took off like a shot.
Now they're being chased around
The Warner studio
By Scratchansniff
And Hello Nurse
Ralph the Guard
Some movie stars
The Professor and Mary Ann
On the Warner's Lot!
Transcribed by O.G. Shofner

Lyrics from THE BIG CANDY STORE (Episode 8)
by Paul Rugg

YW+D : The candyman's swell
       One look and you can tell
       That this nice man wears a toupée.
Wakko: Please don't mind what I will now say
       I think that you should wear ... a beret!
YW+D : Hey!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom

Lyrics from BUMBIE'S MOM (Episode 8)
by Sherri Stoner

Bumbie, the dearest deer
Deep in the darkest forest he grew.
Bumbie, the dearest deer
His mother the only friend he knew.
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell

Lyrics from WALLY LLAMA (Episode 9)
by Paul Rugg

YW+D: Llama llama llama
      Our question answer, please.
      When we hear the answer
      We promise that we'll leave.
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell

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