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Lyrics from KING YAKKO (Episode 10)
by Peter Hastings

The King

Guards: The king!
PM    : Good folk of Anvilania
        We welcome our new king
        So raise your hammers high
        And let the anvils ring.
Chorus: We let the anvils ring
Guards: To welcome our new king
        The king!
Let the Anvils Ring
Yakko : Let us introduce ourselves
        O people of this land
Wakko : We are the Warner brothers
Dot   : With sister close at hand.
Yakko : I bet you all are wondering
        Who is this young unknown?
        And why am I inheriting
        The Anvilanian throne?

Men   : Yes, why?
Women : Yes, why?
Crowd : Oh, please, please tell us why.
Yakko : The bottom of the family tree
        Starts with Yakko; that is me.
        I'm the cousin to the sister
        Of son's niece's brother
        Of the uncle's daughter's father
        Of the nephew's sister's mother
        And my grandpa's only cousin
        Was the King's daughter's sibling,
        But they're all gone,
Crowd : So that is why
Yakko : I am now your king!
Crowd : He is now our king!
Yakko : Yes, I am now your king!
        Repeat what I just said!
Crowd : Repeat what I just said!
Yakko : And let the anvils ring!
(Anvil Chorus plays)
YW+D  : Old King Yakko's mania
(Anvils play "E-I-E-I-O")
YW+D  : Was for Anvilania!
(Anvils play "E-I-E-I-O")

Yakko : So good citizens, I pledge to you
        I'll do the best that I can do
        For honor, country and the king
        Let the anvils ring!
Crowd : Let the anvils ring!
Yakko : Let the anvils ring!
Chorus: Let the anvils ring!
In Dear Old Anvilania
Yakko : In dear old Anvilania
        Everyone's our friend
Dot   : We want to meet you all
Wakko : And shake you by the hend!
        (spoken) Hend, hend -- it rhymes!
Musical Chairs (Sung to Pop Goes the Weasel)
YW+D  : You never know when we're gonna stop
        We might go on forever
        You could get sick waiting for us
        So we could stop--
This Means War
Yakko : And so I stand corrected
        Not everyone's our friend
Dot   : The dicator,
Wakko : He wants a war,
YW+D  : So our country will defend!
Crowd : This means war,
        This means war,
        This means war!
YW+D  : Of course you know
        This means War...
Anvilanian Anthem (Sung to My Old Kentucky Home)
D+W   : Oh the anvils shine
        In my old Anvilanian home.
War Report
YW+D  : We thank you all for your support
        And of the war, we now report

Yakko : Our country had been threatened
        By a mean and crafty man
Dot   : He wanted all our anvils
Wakko : And our country in the can.
YW+D  : We gathered up the bravest men
        But they all ran away
Yakko : So Wakko, Dot, and I, the king
        Went off to earn our pay.

Dot   : The battle, it was fierce
Yakko : But we rolled with the punch
Y+D   : The odds, they were against us
Wakko : Six hours without lunch!

YW+D  : We fooled the old dictator
        And his castle was destroyed
        But we're not mean, and now with us
        He's gainfully employed.
Umlatt: (spoken) This anvil was so big...
Crowd : How big was it?
Umlatt: This big.

Yakko : So now won't you join us
        For country and the king
YW+D  : Raise your hammers high
        And let the anvils ring!
Men   : Let the anvils ring!
Crowd : Let the anvils ring!

Lyrics from NO PAIN, NO PAINTING (Episode 11)
Music traditional (Frère Jacques). Lyrics by Peter Hastings.

Frère Warner
Frère Warner
What's that mean?
Keep it clean!
Yakko is a yakker
Wakko is a snacker!
Dot's plain cute
So's this boot!
Transcribed by David Moisan

Lyrics from LES MISERANIMALS (Episode 11)
Musical score by Steve Bernstein.
Lyrics and dialog by Deanna Oliver.

Camenbert (parody of Confrontation)
Music by Richard Stone.

Camenbert: Runt Valrunt, I'll track you down, I swear.
           No matter where you run, I will be there.
           I, Camenbert!
At the End of My Fork (parody of At the End of the Day)
Music by Richard Stone.
Miserable Diner    : At the end of my fork is an unknown food product!
Tristesse          : You miserable fool, that's a bit of sardine!
Miserable Diner    : If that's a sardine, then I'm the bloomin' May Queen.
Chorus of Customers: Forgive us, sir, but your gourmet pies are obscene.
                     We want protein!
Look at Rita (parody of Lovely Ladies)
Music by Richard Stone.

Assigning cat names in order of appearance, as listed in the credits.

(Kitty Dukockis?): Look at Rita, primping up her fur.
(Cat Ballue?)    : Thinks she's such a fancy one
                   Just listen to her purr.
(Kitty Litter?)  : Arrogant Rita, oh so marvelous.
All three        : Haughty precious kitty, better than the rest of us.
                   PU, girl, you're odoriferous!
Kitten  : Guess what I saw; I saw it with me own eyes.
          Monsieur Tristesse has no more meat for his pies.
          Believe it or not, he threw Fat Cat in a pot.
          Fat Cat escaped but if Tristesse has his way
          He'll make a Fat Cat soufflé!
Dukockis: No, not a cat!
Kitten  : It was Fat Cat.
Ballue  : It was a cat?
Kitten  : A kitty cat!
All four: Oh, save us, God! We're living with a Sweeney Todd!
Ballue  : Give him Rita; Rita's nice and fat!
Dukockis: Rita must be tasty, why, she's an aristocrat.
All four: To the kitchen; throw her in a vat!
(Rita roars)
Flat in Gay Paree (parody of Castle on a Cloud)
Music by Richard Stone.
Rita: There is a flat in Gay Paree
      Safe on a tree-lined avenue
      No cats à la carte on the menu
      Not in my flat in Gay Paree.
      There is a chef of fine cuisine
      He is a vegetarian
      As he prepares a fine banquet
      He says, "Rita, you're my beloved pet."
      I know a flat where I can nap
      Safe on a chair or in a lap
      I won't end up in a recipe
      Not in my flat in Gay Paree.
I Am Definitely... (parody of Who Am I?)
Music by Richard Stone.
Runt: I am definitely...
      I am definitely...
      I am definitely...
Rita and Runt (parody of Red and Black)
Music by Richard Stone.
Runt: Rita, glad I found you safe and sound.
Rita: Runt, where the blazes have you been?
Runt: Rita, doing straight time in Le Pound.
Rita: Runt, get me out of this pen!
That Hole is Much Too Small (parody of A Little Fall of Rain)
Music by Richard Stone.
Rita: Please don't be upset, Runt
      It hardly hurts at all
      But that hole is much too small
      To pull my body through.
      What were you thinking, you big buffoon?
      Don't worry; it's okay
      The pain will go away.
      He must have confused me for a cartoon.
Do You Hear the Poodles Bark? (parody of Do You Hear the People Sing?)
Music by Richard Stone.
Poodles: Do you hear the poodles bark?
         Barking the barks of angry mutts.
Runt   : It is the high-pitched yap of pedigree dogs
         Whose mouths will not be shut.
Poodles: We will break down the prison wall
         We will destroy the restaurant.
         We're revolting poodles following Runt Valrunt!
Dig Down (parody of Look Down)
Music by Richard Stone.
Dogs    : Dig down, dig deep, Les Miseranimals!
          Dig down, dig deep, to freedom through a tunnel!
Dukockis: Dogs and cats shouldn't fraternize!
Rita    : Do you wanna end up in meat pies?
Ballue  : Rita's right; let's use our paws.
Litter  : I ain't gettin' dirt between me claws.
Rita    : (spoken) Get over yourself.
Dogs and cats: Dig down, dig deep, Les Miseranimals!
               Dig down, dig deep, to freedom through a tunnel!
Bitten in Ze Butt (parody of Master of the House)
Music by Richard Stone.
Tristesse: Bitten in ze butt
           Got an awful tear
           Took a little nibble from my derriere!
           I will get you in ze end, dog
           You'll regret you bit me, chum.
           Ooh, I am so irritated
           I got bitten in ze bum!
Camenbert and Runt (parody of Confrontation)
Music by Richard Stone.
Camenbert: Valrunt, you cur, there's no escaping me!
           Ha ha, ho ho, ha ha ha ha hee hee-eee!
Camenbert:                       Runt:
You'll go back to the Pound.     But I protest, I'm an innocent stray
You'll go back.                  Confess, Camenbert, you know it's true.
A dog like you                   I did not steal
cannot run free,                 that bone,
A dog like you.                  It was you.
Runt: Toodleoo!
At the End of the Road (parody of At the End of the Day)
Music by Richard Stone.
Rita: At the end of the road is the city of Paris.
      At the end of the road is the city of light.
      The city of romance,
All : We'll eat, drink, be merry and dance,
      And with any luck at all we'll find shelter tonight.
      Vive la France!
Transcribed by C. David Tallman and Mark Hadley

Lyrics from WEST SIDE PIGEONS (Episode 12)
Musical score by Steve Bernstein.
Lyrics and dialog by Deanna Oliver.

Goodfeathers (parody of Jet Song)
Music by Richard Stone.

BP+S : Here come the Goodfeathers cooin' at you
       That no sparrow can perch on Scorsese's statue
       On our ever-lovin', beakin', buggin'
Carloota (parody of Maria)
Music by Richard Stone.
Squit: Carloota!
       I just met a bird named Carloota.
       And please don't think me rude
       But I think I'd like to brood
       With Carloota!
(swallowed by Crupkitty)
Scorsese's Head (parody of America)
Music by Richard Stone.
(FS = Female Sparrow(s), MS = Male Sparrows)
FS : We wanna stay here on the rooftop!
MS : We don't!

MS : We'd like to perch on Scorsese's head!
     Why can't we perch on Scorsese's head?
     Goodfeathers perch on Scorsese's head!
     Sparrows should perch on Scorsese's head!

FS : On the rooftop we get lots of sunshine.
MS : Don't want to perch on a clothesline!
FS : Up here we have a boid's-eye view.
MS : Humans drop food by the statue!

FS : We'd like to perch on Scorsese's head!
MS : Why can't we perch on Scorsese's head?
     Goodfeathers perch on Scorsese's head!
All: We're gonna perch on Scorsese's head!
I Feel Feathery (parody of I Feel Pretty)
Music by Richard Stone.
Bobby: Hoo-Hoo! Look at Mr What-a-Difference-a-Day-Makes over here!
Pesto: Heh heh! Spiffin' up for the rumble, Squit?
Squit: No, I have a date with Carloota. There's no bird in the city like
       Carloota. Around her...

Squit: I feal feathery
       Oh, so feathery
       All my plumage is standing up tall.
       I'm no peacock
       But that doesn't bother me at all.

Squit: Who's that handsome squab in the mirror there?
Pesto: What squab?  Where?  Who?
Squit: Who can that attractive bird be?
B+P  : Which one?  Where?  Who?
Squit: Oooooh...
B+P  : Chirp quack!  Clonk cluck!
Squit: It's...
B+P  : Chirp queek!  Coo coo!
Squit: Me!

Squit: I feel feathery
       Oh, so feathery
       Like a fledgling, a soft downy dove.
       Oh, this pigeon,
       Handsome pigeon's
       All puffed up with love!
There's a Perch for You (parody of There's a Place for Us)
Music by Richard Stone.
Bobby: Forget about it, Squit. You're a Goodfeather, see?

Bobby: And there's a perch for you
       On this statue, for you.
B+P  : Forget the chick 'cause she done you wrong
       Scorsese's head is where you belong!
BP+S : Coo-coo!  Coo-ooo!  Coo-COOOOO!
(statue crumbles)

Bobby: (spoken) There's a statue of Coppola down the street.
Transcribed by "The Corinthian" and Will Bell

See also: Coo song.

Lyrics from HELLO NICE WARNERS (Episode 13)
by Paul Rugg

Parody of The Sound of Music

Woman: The hills are quite full
       Of big rocks and boulders
       With igneous rock
       Sedimentary, too
       The hills are quite full
       Of big rocks and boulders...
(YW+D burst through backdrop)
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
Three Little Maids from The Mikado
Music and lyrics by Sir Arthur Sullivan.
YW+D : Three little maids from school are we
       Pert as a schoolgirl well can be
       Filled to the brim with girlish glee-EE
       Three little maids from school.
Dot  : Everything is a source of fun
Wakko: Nobody's safe 'cause we care for none
Yakko: Life is a joke that has just begun
YW+D : Three little maids from school!


Duet: The jungle was nice
      But way behind the times
      For two endangered hippos
      With hip and trendy minds
      So they flew their ranch rover
      To the city's neon glow
      Flavio and Marita
      The Hip Hippos!
Transcribed by the Corinthian

Lyrics from LA BEHEMOTH (Episode 13)
Music by Steve Bernstein.
Lyrics by Nicholas Hollander.

Music parodies a number of classical tunes.

Marita: Flavio, Flavio, Flavio!
Flavio: Marita, Marita, Marita!
F+M   : What shall we do?
        What will become of us two?
        The help is gone, the maid is through,
        What will become of us two?
MaleTB: (spoken) Uh oh. Now who'll clean our cages?

Marita: I'm calling up the agency to find a new housekeeper
Flavio: She's calling up the agency to find a new housekeeper!
Marita: A chambermaid, a gourmet chef, a trendy carpet sweeper
Flavio: A chambermaid, a gourmet chef, a trendy carpet sweeper!
Marita: (spoken) Why are you repeating everything that I am singing?
Flavio: (sung) Why am I repeating everything that you--
        (spoken) I do not know.

Marita: (into phone) Hello, hello, Marita Hippo here,
        I'm having an emergency
        My life is filled with urgency
        We need to hire servancy
        We need a new housekeeper!
        (spoken) But...but...oh, very well.
Flavio: Marita, my poor wilting lily, what is the matter?
Marita: They cannot send us a new maid until Monday morning.
Flavio: Monday morning?!
F+M   : (sung) What shall we do?
        What will become of us two?

Flavio: (spoken) Have no fear, Marita dear, I have a plan.
Marita: Pray tell, Flavio!
Flavio: (sung) I'll do the windows and push the vacuum
        Polish the parlor, scrub out the bathroom!
        (spoken) Ung!  This is _hard_.

Marita: I will not worry; I will not fear
        I'll do laundry until help is here,
        Fold the trousers and starch the shirts
        And I'll do laundry until it hurts!
        (spoken) Aie!  This is really not so amusing!

Flavio: Dinner is easy, simple like a dream
        Cleaning the chicken, scrubbing the beans!
        Add in two tablespoons into a pot,
        Stir fry until hot!  (BOOM!)
        (spoken) Perhaps next time we take out Chinese.

Tbirds: Poor little hippos, husband and wife,
        They haven't a clue; they haven't a life.
        A tragic conclusion; see how they cry,
        Poor hippopotami!

F+M   : What will we do?
        What will become of me and you?

(doorbell rings, maid returns)

Maid  : (spoken) I forgot my featherduster.
Flavio: (sung) We realize we've been wrong; we treated you unfair.
        How can we make it up and show you how we care?
F+M   : Come clean for us,
        Come clean for us,
        Come back and clean for us.
        We'll give you anything you ask,
        Just say you'll clean for us!
Maid  : (spoken) Oh, alright.
F+M   : (sung) She'll clean for us!
        She'll clean for us!
        She said she really will!
        A happy ending, everyone,
        She said she'll clean for us!
MaleTB: (spoken) There's a twist -- an opera with a happy ending.
Transcribed by "The Corinthian" and Bill S. Preston

Lyrics from CHALKBOARD BUNGLE (Episode 16)
by Paul Rugg

Yakko: School!
Dot  : School!
Wakko: School!
YW+D : Schoo-oo-oo-oo-ool!

YW+D : Our first day at school
       We're eager little learners
       So fill our brains with lots of facts
       Our first day at school.

Yakko: Teach!
Dot  : Teach!
Wakko: Teach!
YW+D : We're ready for our lessons
       So teach us Math, Geometry
       Don't forget Geography
       English Lit. and Chemistry
       And please throw in the A-B-C's.
       Oh, teacher, teach us nooooow!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"

Lyrics from ROLL OVER, BEETHOVEN (Episode 17)
by Paul Rugg

We'll Clean Your Flue for You

Y+W : We're the von Warner Brothers
Dot : Und the von Warner Sister, too.
YW+D: We're chimney sweeps extraordinaire
      We'll clean your flue for you!
Transcribed by Olivia D. Isaac
Writin' Hooey (parody of Makin' Whoopie)
Dot: Another tune
     Another song
     But, old Beethoven
     Something's wrong.
     He's uninspired
     He's very tired
     He's writin' hooey.
Transcribed by Raymond Hom

Lyrics from THE CAT AND THE FIDDLE (Episode 17)
by Nicholas Hollander

A Place Called Home

Rita: Somewhere I can hang my hat
      Somewhere for a dog and cat
      Somewhere, just imagine that
      We'll find a place called home.

      A place we've been searching for
      A place we've been waiting for
      So long we've been searching for
      So long, a place called home.

      They don't see us
      They'll never know
      But they could be us
      Like that [slaps water]
      Just like that.

      Out here in the shadow's end
      Out here is a promised land
      Out here we'll all understand
      And make this place our home
      This place our home.
Rita: Out here in the shadow's end
      Out here is a promised land
      Out here as the day is long
      We'll find ourselves a home
R+R : A place called home!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"

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