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THE SENSES SONG (Episode 44)
Music by Randy Rogel.
Lyrics by Randy Rogel and Tom Ruegger.

Yakko: The sense of sight
       Is what guides us right
       When we go out on walks.
Wakko: The sense of smell's
       The way you tell
       That you need to change your socks.
Dot  : The sense of touch
       Is what hurts so much
       When you bang your toe on the bed.
Yakko: The sense of hearing is something good
       'Cause if a tree falls in the wood
       Would there be a sound? You bet there would
       If it landed on top of your head
YW+D : Your head
       If a tree lands on top of your head!
Wakko: The sense of taste
       Affects your waist
Yakko: Which makes five senses in all.
Dot  : There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain
       It's a psychic connection inside of your brain
       So you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine
Yakko: Who wear crystals they bought in the mall
YW+D : The mall
       Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
Yakko: And now the other senses!
Dot  : There are scents you can smell
       Like cologne from Chanel
       Or the scents of expensive perfume.
Yakko: There are scents of flowers
       We hope overpowers
       The kitty box next to your room.
Wakko: There's a sense of pride
       You have deep down inside
Yakko: When you practice a sense of fair play.
Dot  : There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll
Yakko: Or the census man who is taking a poll
Wakko: And a sense of confusion; we're out of control
YW+D : And they really should take us away
       They really should take us away!
Dot  : There's a sense of humor
       A sense of doom, or
       A sense of awe, sense of timing.
Yakko: The sense of a word
       A sense of absurd
       Like trying to do all this rhyming!
Dot  : There's incense
Wakko: And horse sense
Yakko: And common sense, it's true.
Dot  : Sense of wonder, sense of beauty
Wakko: Sense of honor, sense of duty
Yakko: A sense of doubt, a sense of danger
Dot  : A sense of fear, when you meet a stranger
Wakko: A sense of style, a sense of worth
Yakko: A sense of direction for knowing the earth
YW+D : A sense of dread as we're singing this song
       That it's starting to turn out completely all wrong
       And it's time that we end it because it's too long
       'Cause it just doesn't make any sense
       This song doesn't make any sense!

Lyrics from KIKI'S KITTEN (Episode 44)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Lyrics by Deanna Oliver.

Rita : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao!
       Stomach's empty and I need to find food.
Stray: This trash can belongs to me!
Rita : Some stray cats can be so awfully rude.
       Trash is public property!
       Don't mess with me; I am in a bad mood.
Both : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao!
Stray: Bye bye, kitten. Hope someday you find food.
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell

MARY TYLER DOT (Episode 45)
Lyrics by John P. McCann

Parody of the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Who can turn the stove on with her smile?
Who can take a bubble bath and suddenly fill it with crocodiles?
'Cause it's you, Dot, and you should know it
Put nitro on a bridge; go ahead and blow it.
Mud is all around; I guess it's spring
Name another crooner, other than Bing
Don't throw your hat up in the air
'Cause what might land is a Frigidaire.
Transcribed by Paul J. Lee

Lyrics from VIDEO REVIEW (Episode 47)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.

Yakko: Hey, look at this store!
Wakko: There's movies galore!
Dot  : We've seen 'em a thousand times over before
YW+D : And that's why our brains don't work anymore!
Yakko: "The Player" is a movie
       About finding fresh new scripts
       Like "Rambo 3"...
       And "Rocky 5"...
       And "Star Trek" Number 6.
Dot  : Eva joined with Zsa Zsa
       And they formed a "Sister Act"
       But both were "Unforgiven"
       Because neither one could act.

Wakko: "The Hand That Rocked The Cradle"
       Once belonged to "Hook", you see
       But it got bored and so it joined
       "The Addams Family".
Yakko: "Amadeus" was a genius
       "Beethoven" was a dog
       The "Muppet Family Christmas"
       Is about a pig and frog.

Dot  : There was a sled named Rosebud
       And a "Citizen" named "Kane"
       He rode it 'til the snow was melted
       Now he's "Singin' In The Rain".
Wakko: The "Princess Bride" got married
       To the handsome "Prince Of Tides"
       Which now makes her dad, "The Fisher King",
       The "Father Of The Bride".
YW+D : And pretty soon you'll find them all
       Inside the "TV Guide"
       Along with all the stars you like to see!

Dot  : Like Hitchcock and Spielberg and Oliver Stone
Yakko: Shirley MacLaine and Sylvester Stallone.
Wakko: Francis Ford Coppola, Hepburn and Tracy
Dot  : Robert Zemeckis and Martin Scorcese.
Yakko: Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Woody Allen and Mia
Wakko: Robert Deniro and Andy Garcia.
Dot  : Sophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Joan Crawford
Yakko: Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Spike Lee, Peter Lawford.
YW+D : Jack Nicholson, Brando, and Marilyn Monroe...
       And that's all the people we know!

Cast : We're glad the dinosaur is gone
       He was an easy mark
       But if we ever miss him
       We can rent "Jurassic Park".
       So when it comes to clunkers
       Like "The Babe" or like "Presidio"
YW+D : Don't pay $7.50
       Just catch 'em on home video.
       As for us it's bye-bye time
       So long now, toodle-oo.
       We've had quite enough of this
Cast : Video revue!

GOODBYE SONG (Episode 47)
Lyrics by John P. McCann

Parody from The Carol Burnett Show

YW+D: We're so sad we've no more time together
      Just to drop an anvil on your head
      And stuff your pockets full of dynamite
      Then tie you to a rhino's head!
Transcribed by "The Corinthian"

Lyrics from MOBSTER MASH (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander

Italian Song
Music arranged by Julie Bernstein.

YW+D : Ravioli
       And spumoni
       Baked salami.

Yakko: Minestrone
       Extra cheesy
Dot  : Fried scungili
Wakko: Over easy
YW+D : Muscantelli
       And spaghetti.
       La la la la
       La la la la
       La la la la la, hey!
The Warner Waiter Two
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Y+W  : You called out for a waiter
       Here we are for you
       We'll serve you food much later
       We're the Warner Waiter Two!
Dot  : Don't order the fondue.

Sitting Here Before You
Music by Julie Bernstein.
YW+D : Speak softly love and we will sing a serenade
       To fill your heart with gentle love while music plays
Dot  : The night is young
Yakko: The day is through
YW+D : And we were sitting here before you!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell

LAKE TITICACA (Episode 48)
Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.

YW+D: Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca
      It's between Bolivia and Peru
      Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca
      With waters tranquil and blue.
      Oh Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca
      Why do we sing of its fame?
      Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca
      'Cause we really like saying its name!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom

Lyrics from ICEBREAKERS (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander

Music by Julie Bernstein.

Rita: We're off to Florida to lie in the sun
      Enjoy my leisure time and have some fun
Runt: Tallahassee!
Rita: We're off to Florida where the smart people go
      We're off to Florida where the tropical breezes blow.
      Take me to Florida to play on the sand
      Sleep in the mangroves and eat off the land.

Cats Always Get the Short End of the Stick
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Rita: They say a smile will do the trick
      With a little charm laid on thick
      But listen, folks: forget those strokes
      'Cause cats always get the short end of the stick.

I'll Go It Alone
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Rita: I'll take my chances and I'll go it alone
      Leave Runt behind me and be on my own
      Head to the tropics where summer's in season
      The sooner the better 'cause, man, my butt is freezin'!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell

Lyrics from A CHRISTMAS PLOTZ (Episode 49)
by Randy Rogel and Paul Rugg

Christmas Past
Music by Randy Rogel.

(answering the phone)
Plotz: Hello?
Wakko: Hiya, Plotzie!
Plotz: Agh! What do you want?
Wakko: I want you!  Mwah!

Wakko: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past
       And all the folks that you've harassed
       They're glad that I am here at last
       'Cause, Mister CEO,
       It's movie time; relax and see
       As we climb up your family tree
       And look at how you used to be
       Many years ago!
       (spoken) It's showtime!

Christmas Present
Music by Randy Rogel.
(opening a present)
Plotz: Probably another fruitcake.
Dot  : Who you calling a fruitcake?!  I'm the Ghost of
       Christmas Present!  It's a pun -- get it?

Dot  : Thaddeus Plotz, you mean old man
       Causing pain wherever you can
       It's all about to hit the fan
       You greedy CEO.
       You're guilty in the first degree
       Of causing pain and misery
       Now it's time for you to see
       So hang on; here we go!

Christmas Future
Music by Randy Rogel.
Yakko: THADDEUS PLOTZ!!!  Hello, I'll be your Ghost of Christmas
       Future this evening.

Yakko: Relax!
       Chill out!
       Your cares!
       (spoken) This is a man who knows what he wants -- he's also a man
       NOBODY wants!

Yakko: Come on
       It's time
       For you
       To climb
       These stairs!
       (spoken) You got a good head on your shoulders, Plotz -- too bad
       you haven't got a neck!

Yakko: Show 'em what you can do
Plotz: (spoken) This is stupid!
Yakko: (sung) The Future is waiting for you
Plotz: (spoken) Leave me alone!
Yakko: (sung) Come on Plotz,
       'Cause you've got lots
       To see before we're through!

Girls: He's a dream
       Hear us scream
       His name:
       Had no fun
       And he's the one to blame!
Yakko: (spoken) Helloooo, nurses! Say, why don't you stop by the water
       tower and I'll show you my stamp collection!
Girl : But Yakko, you don't have a stamp collection.
Yakko: All right, then; you can open my mail.

Girls: There's nothing he can't do!
Yakko: (spoken) They're crazy about me!
Girls: (sung) He's handsome; yes it's true!
Yakko: (spoken) Let me know when those costumes get heavy! Rowrr!
Y+Gs : (sung) Come on Plotz,
       'Cause you've lots
       To see
Yakko: (spoken) You know what I like about you, Plotz?  [nudge]
       Absolutely nothing!
Plotz: (falling) AAAHHHHHHH!!!
Y+Gs : (sung) Through!!!
Transcribed by Eric Walker and Bill S. Preston

Lyrics from LITTLE DRUMMER WARNERS (Episode 49)
Music arranged by Richard Stone.
Lyrics by Earl Kress and Tom Ruegger.

YW+D: We three shepherds traveling far
      How we wish that we had a car,
      We cannot sleep
      'Cause with the sheep
      We're following yonder star.
[On with the original from here apart from plurality. If there's enough
demand, the Warners' version of Little Drummer Boy will be put here.]
Transcribed by Olivia D. Isaac

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