THE SENSES SONG (Episode 44)
Music by Randy Rogel.
Lyrics by Randy Rogel and Tom Ruegger.
Yakko: The sense of sight Is what guides us right When we go out on walks. Wakko: The sense of smell's The way you tell That you need to change your socks. Dot : The sense of touch Is what hurts so much When you bang your toe on the bed. Yakko: The sense of hearing is something good 'Cause if a tree falls in the wood Would there be a sound? You bet there would If it landed on top of your head YW+D : Your head If a tree lands on top of your head! Wakko: The sense of taste Affects your waist Yakko: Which makes five senses in all. Dot : There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain It's a psychic connection inside of your brain So you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine Yakko: Who wear crystals they bought in the mall YW+D : The mall Who wear crystals they bought in the mall! Yakko: And now the other senses! Dot : There are scents you can smell Like cologne from Chanel Or the scents of expensive perfume. Yakko: There are scents of flowers We hope overpowers The kitty box next to your room. Phew! Wakko: There's a sense of pride You have deep down inside Yakko: When you practice a sense of fair play. Dot : There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll Yakko: Or the census man who is taking a poll Wakko: And a sense of confusion; we're out of control YW+D : And they really should take us away Away They really should take us away! Dot : There's a sense of humor A sense of doom, or A sense of awe, sense of timing. Yakko: The sense of a word A sense of absurd Like trying to do all this rhyming! Dot : There's incense Wakko: And horse sense Yakko: And common sense, it's true. Dot : Sense of wonder, sense of beauty Wakko: Sense of honor, sense of duty Yakko: A sense of doubt, a sense of danger Dot : A sense of fear, when you meet a stranger Wakko: A sense of style, a sense of worth Yakko: A sense of direction for knowing the earth YW+D : A sense of dread as we're singing this song That it's starting to turn out completely all wrong And it's time that we end it because it's too long 'Cause it just doesn't make any sense Nonsense This song doesn't make any sense!
Lyrics from KIKI'S KITTEN (Episode 44)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Lyrics by Deanna Oliver.
Rita : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao! Stomach's empty and I need to find food. Stray: This trash can belongs to me! Rita : Some stray cats can be so awfully rude. Trash is public property! Don't mess with me; I am in a bad mood. Both : Miiiao! Miao miao miao miao miao ao ao ao! Stray: Bye bye, kitten. Hope someday you find food.Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
MARY TYLER DOT (Episode 45)
Lyrics by John P. McCann
Parody of the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Who can turn the stove on with her smile? Who can take a bubble bath and suddenly fill it with crocodiles? 'Cause it's you, Dot, and you should know it Put nitro on a bridge; go ahead and blow it. Mud is all around; I guess it's spring Name another crooner, other than Bing Don't throw your hat up in the air 'Cause what might land is a Frigidaire. Dot!Transcribed by Paul J. Lee
Lyrics from VIDEO REVIEW (Episode 47)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Yakko: Hey, look at this store! Wakko: There's movies galore! Dot : We've seen 'em a thousand times over before YW+D : And that's why our brains don't work anymore! Yakko: "The Player" is a movie About finding fresh new scripts Like "Rambo 3"... And "Rocky 5"... And "Star Trek" Number 6. Dot : Eva joined with Zsa Zsa And they formed a "Sister Act" But both were "Unforgiven" Because neither one could act. Wakko: "The Hand That Rocked The Cradle" Once belonged to "Hook", you see But it got bored and so it joined "The Addams Family". Yakko: "Amadeus" was a genius "Beethoven" was a dog The "Muppet Family Christmas" Is about a pig and frog. Dot : There was a sled named Rosebud And a "Citizen" named "Kane" He rode it 'til the snow was melted Now he's "Singin' In The Rain". Wakko: The "Princess Bride" got married To the handsome "Prince Of Tides" Which now makes her dad, "The Fisher King", The "Father Of The Bride". YW+D : And pretty soon you'll find them all Inside the "TV Guide" Along with all the stars you like to see! Dot : Like Hitchcock and Spielberg and Oliver Stone Yakko: Shirley MacLaine and Sylvester Stallone. Wakko: Francis Ford Coppola, Hepburn and Tracy Dot : Robert Zemeckis and Martin Scorcese. Yakko: Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Woody Allen and Mia Wakko: Robert Deniro and Andy Garcia. Dot : Sophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Joan Crawford Yakko: Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Spike Lee, Peter Lawford. YW+D : Jack Nicholson, Brando, and Marilyn Monroe... And that's all the people we know! --- Cast : We're glad the dinosaur is gone He was an easy mark But if we ever miss him We can rent "Jurassic Park". So when it comes to clunkers Like "The Babe" or like "Presidio" YW+D : Don't pay $7.50 Just catch 'em on home video. As for us it's bye-bye time So long now, toodle-oo. We've had quite enough of this Cast : Video revue!
GOODBYE SONG (Episode 47)
Lyrics by John P. McCann
Parody from The Carol Burnett Show
YW+D: We're so sad we've no more time together Just to drop an anvil on your head And stuff your pockets full of dynamite Then tie you to a rhino's head!Transcribed by "The Corinthian"
Lyrics from MOBSTER MASH (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander
Music arranged by Julie Bernstein.
YW+D : Ravioli Pepperoni Tortellini And spumoni Funicello Mastroiani Toscanini Baked salami. Yakko: Minestrone Extra cheesy Dot : Fried scungili Wakko: Over easy YW+D : Muscantelli Apabeti Rigatoni And spaghetti. La la la la La la la la La la la la la, hey! ---The Warner Waiter Two
Y+W : You called out for a waiter Here we are for you We'll serve you food much later We're the Warner Waiter Two! Dot : Don't order the fondue. ---Sitting Here Before You
YW+D : Speak softly love and we will sing a serenade To fill your heart with gentle love while music plays Dot : The night is young Yakko: The day is through YW+D : And we were sitting here before you!Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
LAKE TITICACA (Episode 48)
Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
YW+D: Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca It's between Bolivia and Peru Lake Titicaca, oh Lake Titicaca With waters tranquil and blue. Oh Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca Why do we sing of its fame? Lake Titicaca, yes Lake Titicaca 'Cause we really like saying its name! Titicaca!Transcribed by Raymond Hom
Lyrics from ICEBREAKERS (Episode 48)
by Nicholas Hollander
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Rita: We're off to Florida to lie in the sun Enjoy my leisure time and have some fun Runt: Tallahassee! Rita: We're off to Florida where the smart people go We're off to Florida where the tropical breezes blow. Take me to Florida to play on the sand Sleep in the mangroves and eat off the land. ---Cats Always Get the Short End of the Stick
Rita: They say a smile will do the trick With a little charm laid on thick But listen, folks: forget those strokes 'Cause cats always get the short end of the stick. ---I'll Go It Alone
Rita: I'll take my chances and I'll go it alone Leave Runt behind me and be on my own Head to the tropics where summer's in season The sooner the better 'cause, man, my butt is freezin'!Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from A CHRISTMAS PLOTZ (Episode 49)
by Randy Rogel and Paul Rugg
Music by Randy Rogel.
(answering the phone) Plotz: Hello? Wakko: Hiya, Plotzie! Plotz: Agh! What do you want? Wakko: I want you! Mwah! Wakko: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past And all the folks that you've harassed They're glad that I am here at last 'Cause, Mister CEO, It's movie time; relax and see As we climb up your family tree And look at how you used to be Many years ago! (spoken) It's showtime! ---Christmas Present
(opening a present) Plotz: Probably another fruitcake. Dot : Who you calling a fruitcake?! I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present! It's a pun -- get it? Dot : Thaddeus Plotz, you mean old man Causing pain wherever you can It's all about to hit the fan You greedy CEO. You're guilty in the first degree Of causing pain and misery Now it's time for you to see So hang on; here we go! ---Christmas Future
Yakko: THADDEUS PLOTZ!!! Hello, I'll be your Ghost of Christmas Future this evening. Yakko: Relax! Chill out! Forget About Your cares! (spoken) This is a man who knows what he wants -- he's also a man NOBODY wants! Yakko: Come on It's time For you To climb These stairs! (spoken) You got a good head on your shoulders, Plotz -- too bad you haven't got a neck! Yakko: Show 'em what you can do Plotz: (spoken) This is stupid! Yakko: (sung) The Future is waiting for you Plotz: (spoken) Leave me alone! Yakko: (sung) Come on Plotz, 'Cause you've got lots To see before we're through! Girls: He's a dream Hear us scream His name: PLOTZ!!! Had no fun And he's the one to blame! Yakko: (spoken) Helloooo, nurses! Say, why don't you stop by the water tower and I'll show you my stamp collection! Girl : But Yakko, you don't have a stamp collection. Yakko: All right, then; you can open my mail. Girls: There's nothing he can't do! Yakko: (spoken) They're crazy about me! Girls: (sung) He's handsome; yes it's true! Yakko: (spoken) Let me know when those costumes get heavy! Rowrr! Y+Gs : (sung) Come on Plotz, 'Cause you've lots To see Be- fore We're Yakko: (spoken) You know what I like about you, Plotz? [nudge] Absolutely nothing! Plotz: (falling) AAAHHHHHHH!!! Y+Gs : (sung) Through!!!Transcribed by Eric Walker and Bill S. Preston
Lyrics from LITTLE DRUMMER WARNERS (Episode 49)
Music arranged by Richard Stone.
Lyrics by Earl Kress and Tom Ruegger.
YW+D: We three shepherds traveling far How we wish that we had a car, We cannot sleep 'Cause with the sheep We're following yonder star. [On with the original from here apart from plurality. If there's enough demand, the Warners' version of Little Drummer Boy will be put here.]Transcribed by Olivia D. Isaac
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