Broadcast Nuisance


More than two and a half minutes of this cartoon was either removed or had its dialog changed before it went to air in the U.S.

Many people wondered why the anchorman, an obvious caricature of ABC News correspondent Sam Donaldson, was given the name Dan Anchorman, which doesn't sound anything near the same. The fact is, that was not the name that writers Gordon Bressack and Charles M. Howell IV gave to the character. The name originally written, and recorded, was Slam Fondlesome. My guess is that the U.S. censors did not like that name, so it was changed in ADR.

That was not all that was changed in ADR. The entire William F. Yakkley sequence was changed as well, my guess being to maintain the plot about tipping and to make the Warners less vicious. That also could explain part of why some material was cut out entirely.

One piece of one of the cut sequences was shown on a Fox promo for Animaniacs, showing the anchorman made up like a clown and getting electrocuted.

That shot was part of a long sequence which includes some things that were left in the episode, and much that was omitted. A transcription and recording will be provided below. Another part cut was when the Warners are in the control room and begin flipping through channels, putting the anchorman into various shows. After the Bulk Logan bit, instead of cutting back to the desk, there originally was one more flip. The anchorman appears in a Slappy Squirrel cartoon. Slappy hands him a bomb then leaves the shot just before it explodes, turning Fondlesome into a standing pile of ash. Slappy peeks back in, announcing, "Now that's comedy!" and the ashes fall to the ground with eyes still peeking out.

Here are four frames from that later segment:


Here is a video showing the scenes in question:


Here is a transcription of the scene:

SLAM
This is absurd! I will not have this broadcast interrupted by a bunch of little kids!

YAKKO
(appearing on the monitor behind him)
We protest you calling us little kids! We prefer to be called vertically-impaired pre-adults.

SLAM
I'll call you anything I want! I'm the anchor!
(pounds his fist on the desk)

YAKKO
We protest you calling yourself an anchor. You should be referred to as the pastry-enhanced.

SLAM
Pastry-enhanced? I don't get it.

YAKKO
You will.
(throws a pie in Slam's face)

SLAM
(As he growls in anger, the pie goes up in flames, clearing his face. He stands, rips the monitor that Yakko had appeared in from the wall, throws it upon the ground and begins stomping on it.)
I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!!!
(realizes he's still on camera)
Heh heh... We'll be right back after this commercial.
(walks back to the desk, sits, and looks at himself in the mirror, shocked at the appearance of his eyes)
I knew it -- tension lines! MAKEUP!!!

The Warners appear quickly, one at a time, wearing button-up smocks.

DOT
(with a Gabor-like voice)
Don't worry, Dahlink. We will make you look so beautiful, your own mother won't recognize you.

YAKKO
Hot towel!
(throws it on Slam's face)

SLAM
YEEOWWW!!!

WAKKO
Hot wax!
(Yakko mixes it then Wakko slops it onto Slam's face)

SLAM
AUUUGH!!!

DOT
(still Gabor-like)
And now for your complete make-ovah...

The Warners swirl around momentarily. When the dust clears, Slam appears like a clown. He looks in the mirror again.

SLAM
Oh no! MORE tension lines!

YAKKO
(snaps his fingers)
I knew we forgot something...

Yakko and Wakko each carry a cable from opposite sides toward Slam, and place them in his hands. He receives a strong electrical shock.

SLAM
YEEEOWWW!!!
(collapses on the desk)

DIRECTOR VOICE
We're on the air.

SLAM
(seemingly recovered from his shock, but still looking like a clown)
In our next segment, we'll show you why
(Yakko slips a new sheet of paper into Slam's hands)
Slam Fondlesome is a big fat dope. -- Huh? -- D'OH!!!

A Special Report screen comes up.

DOT
We interrupt NewsTime Live to bring you this special report: Is Slam Fondlesome a Big Fat Dope? For the answer, we turn to William F. Yakkley.

YAKKO
(impersonating William F. Buckley)
Uh, what I wish to express is that, uh, he is, uh, ipso-facto, a grandly rotund, uh, ipso-dopso. In layman's terms, a big fat dope.

DOT
But would you say that he's a big fat UGLY dope?

YAKKO
No, I would say that he's, uh, a big fat STINKY dope.

SLAM
(bursting onto their set, he grabs Dot and Yakko)
You... You are horrible little--
(notices the On The Air light is flashing)
--WONDERFUL tikes. I see I haven't appreciated your playful side.

As Yakko speaks, Wakko appears and jumps into Slam's arms to join his siblings.

YAKKO
That's us. We're just fun-lovin' rascals.

SLAM
Exactly. And I'm going to make sure you get that tip I owe you.

DOT
Really? Then we're sorry about the big-fat-dope routine.

WAKKO
Yeah, and you're not even all that stinky -- lately.

SLAM
Why, thank you. And now, here's your tip:
(shakes them violently)
DON'T MESS WITH AN ANCHORMAN!!!

Slam throws them into the control room, and spends a lot of effort to barricade the door. He laughs maniacally when finished.

DOT
Do you think maybe he doesn't like us?

YAKKO
(sitting at a control console, swinging a cable)
If he doesn't like us now, wait'll he gets a load of this.


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