Best Cellar

(A curmudgeon's fable)


I can't be sure but it just might be

That off in 2193

This little tale may come to pass

The future's as cloudy as the past

And even though you didn't ask

I'll spin a yarn for thee.


Can you see a museum close by a brook?

The stream is clear but the building's been shook

By some quakes, some abuse, some budget cuts

It stays open except those years when its shut

Those who know of it say: "stuck in a rut."

For this is a shrine to books.


"Books?" say the locals, chatting on the 'net

"With pages, right?" for we all forget

What it was like for those before

Before the 'nets changed the fact into lore

And pages to text and covers? What for?

The software seemed to be set.


So no one came out to the crumbly tomb

Yet its funding was never snipped from the loom

Of the budget - enough to light up the cases

Thousands of books all averting their faces

Plus a caretaker whose job these days is

To open and close up the gloom.


The caretaker was Annabel Mercy Monroe

Who signed with the national service bureau

To pay off her college, now over and done

She thought a museum job would be fun

But so far no guys, no friends, no one!

And no computer of course, don't you know.


She cleaned display glass and made funny faces

Looked at the titles and thought of the places

She'd rather be, the things she's rather be doing

Rather than dusting and loafing and endless vacuuming

And the basement: the setting and (ick!) the removing

Of the mouse traps beneath the old cases.


So one stormy day in '93

While Annabel napped 'neath a paperback tree

Two lightning strikes struck at opposite ends

Of the town and the grid on which the city depends

Burned out like a bulb with no chance to mend

Blankness fell over the city.


The screens dried up and they shriveled away

(The 'net full of holes one is tempted to say)

Dinners uncooked, showers got cold

The young felt younger - the old, more old

Across the city nothing bought or sold

It seemed the credits would roll on the world that day.


Annabel woke with a shiver of fright

Nothing civil in the museum that night

She stepped from the paperback tree - looked around

Lights? Heat? Muzak? not to be found

The small stream outside was the only sound

And the full moon above the only light.


Outside, 'cross the fields, the city was black

So she ran cross the brook to the caretakers shack

Dug out the fireplace - it was really that old

Found some matches that were sprouting some mold

And recalling the legends and tales she'd been told

Got a small fire going - and then settled back.


The next week was massive, civic de-evolving

A mixture of looting and group problem solving

The grid repair would take quite awhile

A harvest was gathered from the fields growing wild

People adapted to this trendy lifestyle

But entertainment was not so quickly resolving.


One night Annabel heard noise on the grounds

She took the stew off the fire (the cans she had found)

And looked out the window to see folks on the plain

So she ran 'cross the stream to the museum again

She unlocked the door, hey give 'em free rein

And they all entered without a sound.


Annabel lighted candles so all could see

She reached in her cloak and hoisted her keys

For she finally connected why these people were there

Not just to check, no, not just to stare

But to read and share the books under her care

She opened the cases with deviant glee.


Memories trace titles along ancient covers

Fingers reach out, withdraw, and then hover

Eyes look around, smile, and then dash!

Spines open up, the books slip out and splash

Like urns full of ash, like disposable trash

Cheap paper degrades they discover.


All stares at Annabel Mercy Monroe

Like she was the cause of this dark magic show

She stepped back, and then back, blind from the glares

Unable to say that it just wasn't fair

They surged through the dust and she ran down the stairs

To the basement that waited below.


And in the mass of dark confusion and fear

Before the candles were brought - before thought reappeared

An old case was toppled, books jumped for their lives

They bounced and they splayed but most made it alive

For when pulp papers dust the rag-weave survives

It lives and it thrives, year after year.


Well the light made it down and most books were claimed

Annabel wrote down each title and name

And accepted apoligies (and made a few dates)

They cleaned up the place - had a party so great

They read poems aloud and kept her up late

And by morn her museum had brought her some fame.


Eventually the power was put back on line

But the books still keep her busy full time

Her job now is far from utilitarian

Not a caretaker for an idea antiquarian

She's upgraded (with pay) to city librarian

And that seems to suit her just fine.


Let us leave the museum - the library tonight

And cross the clear stream in the bright moonlight

And peek in the window of the librarians space

The fire still glows and lights up her face

Annabel Mercy Monroe marks her place

With a floppy disk, which seems only right.

Angus McMahan


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