(This was a dream and so I can start by telling you that) On the border between Jerusalem and Egypt there was a buffer zone that was about 2 acres wide. This was adjacent to the main highway that connected the two countries. Violence between them was still happening and so the U.N. decided to take some radical action. With the full cooperation of the two adjoining countries - and the Eastern Bloc, Opec, and Nato, they declared the buffer zone to be a sovereign state. But who would run it? This question looked like it would doom the entire enterprise. The UN then tried a rotating series of governments but this didn't work very well either. Some countries didn't have the resources, some weren't interested, ans some were in alliance with the two neighboring countries. It looked like this grand experiment would fail.
Then it became Germany's turn. Knowing all about tense border crossings, and also knowing how to capitalize on them, they put their little strip of desert out on the auction block. Take a turn at running your very own government! This idea, sad to say, was not very popular. The actual governance was very expensive, and very dangerous, and ironically, there just wasn't very much to do out there.
And so Helmut Lang bought the whole thing out right, thinking it would make a great ad campaign for his fashion line, and maybe get some good dramatic photos of his models out there too. This idea actually worked for awhile, and the border disputes settled down because men, no matter what their political differences, can be made to drop their rocks and stare at runway models. But then Helmut died.
He designated his little two acre country to his heirs. But none of them wanted it. And so it bounced down the family tree until it landed in Alberta, Canada, at the prairie home of Helmut's distant cousin k.d. - who had an idea.
First she contacted Earth First! and with her fortune had them build a governor's mansion on the property. This turned out looking more like a suburban ranch home than the White House, but they only had a small plot to work with, and more importantly, it had to be completely self-sufficent, as she could get neither water, nor power, nor sewer service from either Jerusalem, or Egypt. That done k.d. then bought a used Coast Guard helicopter, one of the enormous two-deck, cargo carrying kind. She had the Earth Firsters paint the whole thing lavendar with a big, bright pink triangle on the tail. Lastly, between the landing pad and the "executive mansion" she built a baseball diamond, with a backstop and some low bleachers.
And then she went into business. Any women who wished to be married to each other had only to contact her, and soon the lavendar helicopter would be landing nearby, in order to whisk the happy couple (and party) off to her sovereign, official, recognized by every country, country, to be married in the mansion, or in the helicopter, or on home plate, if the desert winds had died down.
Peace broke out in the region, from sheer stupefication if nothing else. The U.N. was so pleased they voted k.d.'s country of Lesbos a seat on the Security Council, which they later had cause to regret.
And that, my Christmas kiddies, is the story of the Lesbian Evacuation Service, (Baseball On Site.)
Back to the land of Dreams.