The problems with my name started early. Real early. In utero in fact. See, back in the dim dark medieval time known as "the 60's" they didn't have all of the sophisticated sonar techniques that they have today. Nowadays by the end of the first trimester you can know your baby's sex, hair color, SAT scores, favorite flavor of ice cream, and top three college choices. But in 1965 just seeing the wee-wee was a feat.
So, as far as they could tell I was going to be Kathleen Margaret. Pink christening dress all ready and everything. Surprise! The doctor says, "It's - a boy." in incredulous tones. To which my Mother replies, "Oh shit."
For three days then I was known as "X". But, as they were checking out of the hospital they decide to name the damn thing something. In a burst of extreme non-creativity my frantic parents decide to name me after my Dad. This, as we shall see, solved exactly nothing.
So. "Jr." it was then. This probably would have been tolerable if either my dad or I had a nickname. But no, such frivolities are all but unknown out in the suburbs of L.A. Most people called my father 'Bob', and I, of course, was 'Bobby'. Except to his parents, who still called him Bobby. Mostly though people would call out one or the other and both of us would answer. (*sigh*)
Then I hit adolesence and wanted to be called, um what are my options again? "Bob." Oh boy! Fun! Parents - don't ever name your children after yourselves. It's just not funny after awhile.
So 'Bob' didn't last long. At last not in my mind. At 16 or so I moved on to the much more mature sounding 'Robert'. My family and friends however, remained happily entrenched with 'Bob', or even the default programming of 'Bobby'. (*sigh*)
I was Robert exclusively (at least in my own mind), through the rest of my teens, through my twenties, and just over the line into my thirties. But after living in Santa Cruz for awhile and encountering people with all sorts of ornamental names I decided to create one for myself.
I decided to go matrilinear and use both of my Grandmothers names. (I could of shopped closer to home and used my mother's, but that had a little too much Norman Bates baggage attached. Besides both of my grannies were pretty cool.) So instead of Robert Walker Latham Junior, I would be Robert Johnson McMahan. Johnson from my Mother's Mother (Frances Ellen Johnson), and McMahan the maiden name of my Father's Mother (Margaret McMahan). Get the Irish clan name back in the mix. I really liked this name - still do, actually - because of the heritage behind it, and for two more selfish reasons:
1 - Robert Johnson is my favorite blues musician, and
2 - R.J. McMahan is a cool author name, right?
So I was all set then. I called my Mom with this news. She shrugged, wished me well, and started addressing letters to "Robert McMahan". Thanks Mom! I called my Dad - - - and he freaked. Or he freaked as much as he ever could show. He asked "Why would you want to change your name?" in a very measured tone. I explained that his father, also a Robert*, was a part of our family for, as Margaret diplomatically put it, 'Nine months and ten minutes.' So I never felt that much resonance with our last name. I appeared to have touched a nerve with this last statement. There is something deafeningly patriarchal, almost primeval about the handing down the male surname. He wasn't gonna have any of this, even though I was swapping his last name for his mothers. Nothing doing.
*Which technically makes me a III, as in 'the third'. But I aint even goin' there.
So. No name change? Naaah, just delayed. I decided to just wait until my Father died, and then go ahead with my plans. Wait, that sounds pretty cold when its written out like that. :-) I wasn't wishing any harm to my Father, who was a good and decent man. Indeed by waiting I was honoring his wishes. Well, for awhile at least. :-) And I sincerely hoped that he would have many more years of healthy happy life ahead of him.
And I would wait. Patiently. With my cool new name. My plans were all set, and nothing could go wrong. Nothing! That is unless, by some mysterious means, some other name came along. But that couldn't happen, could it?
Angus came about because of the job I had at 13: Real Magick, an occult bookstore. While we were setting the store up and getting ready to open, the owner suggested that we all use code names when on the floor, for safety reasons. Good idea. And then, faced with being able to choose any name I wanted, I panicked. Nothing came to mind! So I asked Elsa, one of the High Priestesses to help me out. She asked my background (Celtic) and then started reeling off a seemingly endless stream of B-list dieties. What I noticed was that after each of these male names she did this little, involuntary bump and grind. Very cute, but not what I was after. When she got to Angus she did a smaller B&G. So I went with that one. Turns out Aengus Mac Og is like a cross between Dionysus and Adonis. Oh boy..... But I liked the name for personal reasons:
My first job was at Black Angus restaurant.
Its easily pronouncable and spellable.
My favorite guitarist is Angus Young, from AC/DC.
| Angus Young of AC/DC, no relation to: | Angus McMahan, of Quazimojo. For one thing, I don't wear a tie onstage. |
|---|---|
 |  |
And so I appeared behind the black counter as Angus. And I met 20,000 witches in this town of 50,000 people. And they were all introduced to me as Angus. So for that crowd that became my name. And most of those people have alternate, if not numerous extra names. No Problem.
And then I got online, and here was another environment where it is wise to have a 'handle'. And I met 20,000 more people who knew me first as Angus. But again, no problem.
By this time my answering machine message said "You've reached the home of Robert and Angus. Please leave a message." And then I got a job at a big bookstore, and my cool new boss said, "Well. Here's your big chance. What name ya gonna be here?" And so I chose the 'A' name, because it worked so well at '13', and also because there might be other Roberts who would work there, and I didn't want to be RobertL. So, again, no problem, right? .
And the problem is that my nickname is now become my consensus real name. Only a few of my old friends still call me Robert. And when old friends meet new friends, its always strange until they decide what the hell to call me. So do I go ahead with my original plan of changing my name to Robert Johnson McMahan? Or do I modify that to become Angus Johnson McMahan? That would divorce me completely from all of my birth names, which is a surprisingly heady concept. I am undecided about it still. Most everyone calls me Angus and I still sign my name Robert Latham. This domain name and website is about my new name, but my band's website, and our album lists me by my original name.
And so here we are, nearly 40 years into my life, and I am still have name issues. Kathleen Margaret, X, Bobby, Bob, Robert Walker Latham Junior, Robert Johnson McMahan, & Angus McMahan. I'll let you know when I resolve my nametag issues. In the meantime email me at vesica@cruzio.com. (Yes, that was intended as irony...)
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