If Barack Obama can win a Nobel
while bombing Afghanistan and continuing George Bush's occupation of Iraq
then even Nick Herbert has a chance for the prize:
I've already composed my acceptance speech.
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
First I would like to thank my parents, my wife Betsy and my son Khola, my colleagues
in the physics department at Stanford, my team mates in Silicon Valley,
the staff and seminar leaders at Esalen Institute, my skillful tantric teachers
on Rainbow Ridge, Future Peak, the God Farm and the Goddess Temple, my numerous
Dance instructors, my many lovely Muses, and the plant and animal allies
whose actions have given me courage to investigate the barely speakable.
As I glance into this audience, which includes the King of Sweden and former Nobel
Laureates, I am not unaware of the presence of uniformed men prepared to
arrest me as a war criminal should I publically disclose the secret of Weapon X, a weapon
so effective and dangerous that it makes nuclear bombs seem like Chinese
Like so many other revolutionary discoveries from the printing press to
manned flight, there is a dark side as well as a bright side to Quantum
Diplomacy, as my discovery is sometimes known. Just as it is possible to
use Quantum Diplomacy to further mutual understanding among sentient beings,
so also is it possible to abuse Quantum Diplomacy to manufacture what I
have called Weapon X. And No, I will not disappoint the gentlemen carrying the handcuffs.
I fully intend to reveal from this stage everything that I know about this powerful
new quantum-based weapon.
A Nobel for Nick
Stanford Grad Indicted for War Crimes
First Quantum Human Sighted
Jabir Proposes Middle East Peace Plan
Jabir's Final Solution for Peace in Palestine
Weapon X--the Ultimate Atrocity