Behavior Modification by incompetent people did not stay in higher education. It
has ruined every aspect of my adult life and has evolved into elder abuse.
TBI -- Traumatic Brain Injury
ADA -- Americans with Disabilities Act.
PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
DSS ---- Disabled Student Services at UC Santa Cruz.
I was their client starting Fall 1984 to Spring 1990.
DSPandS - Disabled Students
Program andServices at Cabrillo College. I was their client
starting Fall 1991 to Spring 2007.
DRC --- Disabled Resource Center at UC Santa Cruz.
I was their client starting Fall 2007 to Spring 2008.
DSS was renamed DRC after my sham graduation from UC Santa Cruz in 1989. Their website says in the
1990's, but no more accurate information is available. I found the exact same facade of service under a new name. Changing the name had
affected the hostility I found with DSS. It was more apparent with DRC.
DSPandS was renamed Accessibility Support
Center (ASC) when I checked in November 2014. Is this the same facade of service under a new name?
drawn by me at Kresge college UC Santa Cruz
I am a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivor with a degree in Biochemistry, I earned after my accident. The experts kept telling me, healing
TBI was no longer possible. Happily, I ignored them (their dire/sadistic attempts to make me feel hopeless) and listened to other head injury survivors.
Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy did allow me recovery from my TBI 31 years after the climbing accident my family and friends thought had killed me,
Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) - Recovery for Head Injury (TBI) Survivors.
The equation used
as an example.
25 years after my accident.
No HBOT sessions.
15 minutes using a pencil.
Lots of erasing.
31 years after my accident
and 60 HBOT sessions.
About one minute using a pen.
Severe dragging damage
Little dragging damage
After three HBOT sessions.
My right shoe (in the left picture) illustrates the damage to my right shoe caused by my foot dragging on the ground. I was
tired of exercising and having it not respond. I had no expectations of it ever changing.
I have been using the shoe (in the right picture) for three months. Damage from
dragging on the ground is no longer an expensive and unpleasant reality. No more cheap, uncomfortable and poorly made shoes!
In 1983, a 165 foot rock climbing fall left me in coma for six weeks, with a
broken back, a TBI and other serious injuries. 31 years after
my accident I had finally given up on exercising to improve my physical condition. The right side
of my body didn't respond to motor input anymore. Exercise made me tired, but had no effect on my right side - it was really discouraging. Then in August 2014
I heard about HBOT on Brain Injury Radio. Intrigued, I contacted
though I had no expectations of ever having a
functioning right side of my body again.
I was (and am) utterly astounded by this completely unexpected positive increase in my physical well being.
After 60 HBOT sessions:
I am using my diaphragm to form words again. The volume and depth of my voice is increasing. It is
becoming easier for me to make myself heard in noisy locations. My normal speaking voice is returning after being gone for 31 years.
After session 3, I realized my right foot was not longer dragging on
the ground. It was ruining my shoes and
The picture above is a link to Bay Area Hyperbarics,
in the southern San Francisco Bay Area.
did not respond to exercise, I did not know what else I could do.
I was so used to chewing with the left side of my mouth, that I was unaware I was doing that.
After 31 years I chew with both sides of my mouth again.
I can stand with weight on my right leg again. It would not support me before
and I fell a few times a year for 31 years.
After 31 years I have stopped favoring my right leg. My weight is equally spread between
my feet once more.
After 31 years I no longer lean to the right.
After 31 years fine motor control is returning to the right side of my body.
I can shave faster with less pressure.
Before session 16 I was able to stand free without having to constantly brace myself.
After 31 years I can read print with both eyes open again.
After 31 years I can hand write letters again.
I can pet my cat with my right hand now, without her trying to bite me.
After 31 years I can eat using my right hand again.
For the first time ever I can write my own mathematical equations (calculus) and have the time to error check them
for Algebraic mistakes.
I can tutor mathematics, chemistry and physics because now I have the ability to show in writing what I am talking about.
Before Hyperbarics I was physically unable to do that.
TBI survivors need to know that they have an alternative to being alone, feeling depressed and miserable about themselves.
I will always be grateful to Bay Area
Hyperbarics for helping me mitigate the more serious effects of my TBI.
Education for TBI Survivors
24 years of emotional trauma,
taught by unaccredited staff people at the college and university.
Better late then never. 31 years after my accident I found
completely unexpected recovery.
Click on HYPERBARICS to see my amazing experience.
DSS, DSPandS, DRC and other acronyms used are defined
Remember to scroll
down to return here.
Wireless Technology (WiFi) has serious concerns which
are being deliberately withheld from the consumer.
Ex: Lack of Media coverage of brain cancer causes.
Independent scientists are in rare agreement on
this issue. Read what they are saying about
wireless communications by clicking Here.
Scientific studies and opinions concerning
wireless communications (54), click
DSS ---- Disabled Student Services
at UC Santa Cruz. I was their client from Fall 1994 to Spring 1990.
Disabled Students Programs andServices at Cabrillo College. I was their client from
Fall 1991 to Spring 2007.
DRC -- Disabled Resource Center
at UC Santa Cruz. I was their client from Fall 2007 to
Long overdue feedback, some analysis, and some commentary,
from a Biochemistry graduate.
I do not have a PhD in Biochemistry - despite my potential.
I can't engage in
Cancer research, because I do not have the Education despite 26 years
at the College and University.
DSS, DSPandS and
DRC chose to use “Social Isolation” and
Helplessness” to manipulate me. They never attempted to
give me writing help with my homework or find capable lab
assistants for me. Why that is, is a good question, one to which I have no idea.
By not doing their job, they left me with two choices.
I could do the best I could on my own and, maybe, if I was lucky,
achieve academic mediocrity.
Or I could drop out of school and give up on improving my life.
I was able to type at 70 words per minute, with no mistakes,
before I got hurt. 30 years later, I can type 30 words
click on the picture
above to read
per minute with lots of mistakes. After my accident I was writing
at 1/6 of my speed before it happened. A homework assignment that
would have taken me fifteen hours before my accident, now took me
90 hours. I had no time for a social life whenever I was in school.
Most of my friends finally gave up on me, as I was never fun to be
around or could never focus on them and what they were doing (I was
always thinking about homework I had not done or homework I would not
be able to finish). I felt like there was something inherently wrong
with me for being alive, for needing help. If I had competent
assistance in writing and in lab, I could be the best student in class
(I was the top student
in Biochemistry Lab, Spring Quarter, 1986 - 32 months after my accident).
My experience is what type of treatment other TBI
Survivors can expect when they seek to rehabilitate themselves at
the Community College or University
What happens to disabled students and veterans who have
to survive traumatic incidents (including
Military mishaps) when they enroll at the College and/or University level?
I was never asked
to evaluate the service I received - not once. How were they planning to
improve service if they did not ask their clients?
Maybe they have no intention?
Physics jokes, Physics quotes and observations in blue
text, within blue rectangles (like this), are placed
throughout the text, preceding each section.
system of Higher Education leads to deliberate denial of the benefits of
Rehabilitation (quality education)
for some disabled students. These students have been lead
they will get the help they need to improve their lives when
they enroll at the, College or University, level.
In reality, accommodation for their disability is a hoax.
No matter how
smart they are, or how hard they work - they can never perform
better then mediocre.
Maybe DSS, DSPandS and
thought I was a fraud, that I was not disabled?
Actually, I think their behavior was due to lack of training.
I can think of no other reason these Staff
People were choosing not
to do the job, rehabilitate me (helping me with my education)
they were being paid to do.
DRC need to rehabilitate TBI Survivors with access to
quality Education - not use, “Social Isolation” and
“Learned Helplessness” to isolate, marginalize and,
ultimately, trap us in poverty.
It seems to me, Denial of Accommodation is a poor reward
for veterans with TBI who were almost killed, serving
America. Yet, the Staff People who did this to me, feel it is
their right to withold service from any TBI Survivor they feel like?
I was not used to being treated like a minority and took it personal.
They didn't know me. What was going on? Their lack of training was
obvious. I was up against their sterotypes of who they thought I was.
I am not surprised DSS,
DSPandS and DRC
never asked me for feedback, not wanting a written record of what
they had done to me (their client).
In Spring 1987, I was walking through Kresge College
(UCSC) on my way to Chemistry 101 (Thermodynamics). I stopped
at the Kresge library to wash my hands. On the bathroom wall, by
the sink, was written in pen, "I hate myself." To the side of
this pronouncement, someone had added in pencil, "We hate you too."
Maybe, you wonder why I put up with this for
24 years? This the logical output from someone who has been subjected
to “Learned Helplessness” and “Social
Isolation”. I kept looking forward, thinking things would
improve, but they never did. DSS had taught me never to question
what was being done to me, so, in a twisted logic, I became complicit
in what was being done to me.
Some of the Staff People of DSS,
and DRC chose to do this to me. Why they did this to me is a
question to which I have no answer.
I have had extensive experience in dealing with the Staff people who were supposed
to see that the
guidelines of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) were being followed.
still taking classes at UCSC when the ADA was signed into law, but
DSS chose to keep pretending my need for help writing was a fraud
and made no effort to accommodate my disability - maybe their
reasoning was different. 30 years later I am still trying to figure why none of the three
student organizations I had to work with would choose
not do the job they were being paid to do.
Regular text that is underlined (usually a different color too)
is a link that will open a new
window when clicked. This window will contain information to further
the word (or words) that were underlined in the sending text.
Closing that window
returns you to the sending page.
24 years of attacking me and destroying my life at a UC campus and a
Community College because I am disabled from a head injury.
My new reality begins on Page 1.
24 years of emotional trauma,
taught by unaccredited staff people at the college and university.
You are here
I was the top student in Organic Chemistry
at UC Santa Cruz in the summer of 1982.
A year later, in mid-summer 1983, a 165 foot rock climbing fall did not end my life or paralyze me, despite
breaking my back. I woke six weeks later to an unforseen lifestyle change. While unconcious, I had been transfomed
into a criminal who survived a traumatic accident with a head injury.
As I have never been imprisoned: “Social Isolation” and
“Learned Helplessness” were two new concepts to me. These two policies
would ruin 32 years of my life;
leaving me with no way to
afford a family, few friends and a terrible self image.
After 24 years of schooling, I am disabled, poor, unemployed and unemployable, because I was fooled into
believing staff people were interested in helping educate me.
What was the motivation of staff to treat me like they did? I can't figure it out.
In Fall 1984, my 24 year educational experience of paranoid loneliness and social isolation from my peers
and the people around me was begun at the UC campus.
The organizations that help disabled students with their education,
attempted to make me go away by denying me accommodation for my disability.
This was a deliberate event. I can not imagine why anyone would treat a law abiding American Citizen
like a criminal, though I have tried.
The Staff people that did this to me were (and are) sadistic monsters who broke the law.
My diploma in
24 years of psychological torture, “Social Isolation” and
“Learned Helplessness” for the final year of my degree.
They had conditioned me in 1984/1985 to get used to being treated badly (sadistically) by them and I no longer protested anything
about my treatment after initially being attacked whenever I had.
The staff I was forced to work with at the UC campus and the Community College ignored parts of the ADA from its
passage in 1990, until Spring 2008 (one of them bragged to me in October 2009),
I finally realized these people had no intention of ever doing their job and I finally dropped out of school.
because I refused to give up hope for my rehabilitation. I kept looking forwards,
trying to ignore the the subtle, but constant, sadism from the staff that were helping me and would not drop out of school for 24 years.
What these Staff people did to me is not unique to the UC campus and the community
college I attended. The attitude they were using to justify their actions was evident wherever I looked on the Internet.
As a head injury survivor, I needed
help with my education, but that
is not what I got.
Public employess chose to deprive the human race of a needed, dedicated and intelligent, cancer researcher (me), because they could.
These people intentionally ruined my chances to live a normal life and provide for a family because I am a head injury survivor.
Please help me expose them. Send links of this website with a brief explanation to every US government agency,
US government official, US government employee, anyone and/or media sources or organizations you can think of.
This is what happened to a middle class male who had the good fortune to survive a traumatic accident without
being paralyzed, but was unlucky to try and continue his education.
While, my experience is with two schools in California, the reader should remember; unless the survivor of a
traumtic accident is independantly wealthy and has enough money to bypass
similar policies, they too will have a outcome similar to mine.
I think about the isolation, the constant humiliation, the self-consciousness, the fruitless attempt(s) to
change my sexual orientation,
the constant attacks on my self-image by the organizations being paid to help me.
The attitudes from DSS, DSPandS and DRC,
directed at me puzzled me. I always got a sense of mocking, a sense
that they were going through the motions, but there was always feeling of insincerity.
They were not doing what they said they were.
I did not know what to think. If I said anything, they attacked me. They said they were helping me complete my
education, but their actions indicated that
was not their interest. I had no one to protest to.
DSS taught me to disbelieve
my thoughts about my education. If I criticized my treatment, the head of DSS wasted no time in attacking me.
DSS was wrecking my social life and my academic life.
I knew it, but did know what I could to do. If I said anything I was attacked.
Why did DSS
feel they had the right subject me to, “Learned Helplessness”?
Why do DSPandS and DRC feel they have the right
to treat another human this way?
Where do these organizations get the money to do this?
These are questions I
can not answer. I would think the
Chancellor of UC Santa Cruz and the President/Superviser
of Cabrillo College would know.
I have written both people and there has been no investigation as to what transpired or why it happened.
I thought education was a means to lessen the effects of TBI, but that has been taken away from me. I survived a horrific
accident, but I did not expect to be treated like a freak, a person undeserving of opportunity. What is the
purpose of the training and dedication of the men and women
who enabled me to survive my accident, for this to happen to me?
My brother is a Orthopedic Surgeon. He knows how hard I have worked. He is appalled
by the way TBI survivors are
treated when they (me) seek to continue on with their lives.
I have no ideas of how to change people's attitudes. This problem is going to keep getting worse and worse.
When enough TBI survivors have killed
themselves because the day-to-day humiliation has broken them? Then, maybe, people might take notice?
What is school like for a regular person? New friends? A spouse? A Social life?
Going to school was different for me. The consequences of the way I have been bullied
are with me everyday I
My quest for my degree as a disabled student at UC Santa Cruz began in Fall Quarter 1984 and
culminated five years later when I graduated in 1989. In 1990 I went up to UC San Francisco
for a graduate school interview, but was so soured with my undergraduate experiences at UC Santa
Cruz I could not get enthused about six or seven years more of the isolation from my
fellow students DSS exposed me to. So I continued, first at Cabrillo College until May 2007
and then back at UC Santa Cruz for Fall Quarter 2007. At the end of Spring Quarter 2008, I was
not able to keep ignoring reality and realized my academic career had been over since 1984.
At the end of Spring Quarter 2008, I looked and thought about the damage that had been done to my
academic record by DSS, DSPandS and, to a lesser extent, DRC.
Finally, I had an overwhelming dose of reality. These people had never given me any
positive feedback about any of my numerous academic accomplishments. In 24 years they had never
said anything anything positive about anything I had done. If they had, it would be so unusual,
that I could not forget.
Did the staff expect and want me to fail? I was not lazy and I was not killing time, I was
serious about my education. However, their attitudes towards the people they were being paid
to support gave me a different impression. They were not proud of any of my academic achievments.
I have listed a small number of the incidents I am talking about.
DSS did not congratulate me on achieving my degree. I invited them to the ceremony, but
they did not come.
DSS never gave me any feedback about working with professor Tony Fink for my degree.
DSPandS never mentioned the fact that I was a tutor
for Photoshop, MS Word, Adobe Illustrator, HTML, Dreamweaver, Chemistry, Biology and
DSPandS said nothing positive about the photomontage
of my Mom, my grand mother and her relatives, I created it for a class at Cabrillo College.
Everyone else, with the exception of that female staff person of
DSPandS, was blown away. They were all
so positive about my creation from four
black & white photographs that her lack of enthusiasm was noticeable. At the time
it puzzled me. She did say the boots my Mom were wearing were similar to ones she had seen.
DSPandS said nothing about my formal
lab report for Physics 4B, though it was written at Cabrillo College. My lab
report on Nuclear Fusion may be viewed by clicking Formal Lab Report (close the pdf document to return to this page).
DRC never gave me any feedback about my scoring a 79 on the Quantum Theory midterm (Fall 2007), while the class average was 59.
Instead, DSS, DSPandS and DRC,
worked on destroying my academic credibility through denial-of-service. They succeeded.
I had little, to no, chance of being accepted by any graduate program - anywhere. I did not have the money to
waste sending out futile applications
for graduate school. A consequence (one of many) of the complete lack of accommodation for my disability - it took me
26 years to gain the knowledge,
had I not been disabled, I would have acquired in three years. I was not 29 anymore - I was 52.
I had given up on being a research scientist.
My academic career was over. After 24 years, the policies of DSS, DSPandS and DRC toward TBI survivors had finally whipped me, but
they had not broken me - I am not Gay & I will never kill myself. Instead I am publishing what they did to me. People need
to know what was done to me. Why I am so passionate about giving survivers of horrific accidents accommodation for their
What was done to me is hardly a fitting reward for the air traffic controllers who guided the helicopters, the Park
rangers, the helicopter pilots
and the helicopter crews who rescued me and then flew me to the hospital in Modesto, the doctors,
nurses, nurse's aids, physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists,
EMTs, ambulance personel and
others who saved my life and cared for me as I recovered.
DSS, DSPandS and DRC took an intelligent, creative and highly motivated person and did this to me. It took decades, but they finally
Are these organizations proud of what they did to me? It took 24 years, are UC Santa Cruz and Cabrillo
College proud of what they achieved?
In 2008 I created a video to honor Ray, my best friend and buddy.
In 1982 my brother and I ran from Toulumne Meadows to Yosemite Valley,
over Vogelsang Pass. We covered almost 30 miles (29.9) in 11 hours.
Click above, on the
trail sign, to read my account (written in 2009) of our extraordinary accomplishment.
Ray and I caroused around for 34 years.
Ray died in a fall on this part of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT)
on May 15, 2006.
Effects of the relentless efforts to damage my life by
DSS, DSPandS and DRC because I was their client.
Definition of Fraud from Wikopedia
In criminal law, a fraud is an intentional deception made for
personal gain or to damage another individual; the related adjective is
fraudulent. The specific legal definition varies by legal jurisdiction. Fraud
is a crime, and also a civil law violation.
A record of the last 27 years of my life, best illustrates what has been done to me at
UC Santa Cruz by DSS & DRC,
and Cabrillo College by DSPandS.
I have been isolated from my fellow students for 24 years. This happened because I was a client of DSS, DSPandS and DRC.
I have degree in Biochemistry.
I had a girlfriend when I moved out of state in 1992/1993.
My academic record is abysmal.
My GPA does not reflect my intelligence.
I am living with the lasting effects of social isolation.
a horrible self-image.
few friends from school.
no wife or girlfriend.
sexual harassment from some Gay men
After 24 years of doing my best in school I still do not have job skills.
I do not have a job.
Point 2 illustrates my drive and intelligence.
Point 3 illustrates the positive effects of being away from the torture and humiliation I had become used to. Alas,
I hated Oregon, its RedNecks and rainy weather and moved back, not
realizing what I was subjecting myself to once more. I wanted to get an advanced degree so that I would have income for a family.
I can attempt to make sense of points 4, 5 and 6, but I really have no idea of what I did to deserve
this sort of payback. For another view of my reality, to get a sense of what denial-of-service has meant for me, click
consequences (close the window that opens to return to this page).
For DSS, DSPandS and DRC to say they did not know what they were doing to me is unbelievable. Here are four
examples that illustrate DSS, DSPandS and DRC knew
exactly what they were doing to me.
The staff of DRC made no effort to accommodate my disability. One of the staff members did her best at
making school as difficult as possible for me.
She never tried to accommodate my disability. For example she kept the class notes from me until I spent
the 30 minutes it took me to make a specific trip get the notes.
She attacked me constantly, once for telling my note taker to do a better job, for not wanting to use carbonless c
opy paper (BPA exposure), giving me grief for me telling
my note-taker her first priority was to
accurately take notes and deliver them to me etc.. There is no doubt in my mind. If I had had to deal with
when I was an undergraduate, I would not have graduated with my degree.
One time I went by the office to pick up the notes, but they were
not ready because there were problems with the printer. The receptionist said he would bring them to me in
30 minutes. I waited for two hours
until he showed up. Then I discovered that he did not have the notes. I had to wait 40 minutes for him to
go back to the DRC office and return. He was mockingly civil to me and his mistake seemed planned. I wondered if
he and the female staff person, I was having so much trouble with, had dreamed his mistake up?.
I always had the impression of a mocking civility every time I talked to him and that seemed a logical thing for him to
have done. I have no idea what happened, but I do remember how he was not surprised. He made no effort to look
for the notes.
The female DRC staff person I was having trouble with impeded my academic progress every chance possible. She
attacked me for emailing my note-taker in Chemistry 163C (Statistical Mechanics) and telling her to do a better job. She even went so far
as to tell me there was
nothing wrong with the notes (I have her email), that they looked fine to her. I had another student's notes.
I was able to demonstrate how she did not know
what she was talking about.
In October of 2009 I was told
by a staff member of DSPandS (at Cabrillo College) that she had known for years I needed help writing and had
chosen to deny me accommodation for my disability. She gave no reason, but her smugness (pride) in her revelation
I could not understand how could she feel it was okay to subject a client she is paid to serve (me)
to the humiliation, the long hours alone trying desperately to write my homework and the academic ruin (I never had
time to study for my midterms or finals
because I was always working on my homework).
This is the same waste of my life that destroyed most of my friendships and prevented me from ever having the time to
hangout with women - this waste of my time has
characterized my life for 24 years. She was
smiling as she told me - she obviously felt good about ignoring the ADA and not providing me with accommodation.
In 1984, 1985 & 1986, I complained about my treatment, my needs to the head of DSS and she attacked me for it,
saying I was ungrateful, unappreciative and so forth. She was aware of the effects of the social isolation she was
subjecting me to. About five weeks into fall quarter 1984
she asked me, "Have you thought about killing yourself?" I responded with, "No. Why would I want to do that?" She
asked me again, "Have you
thought about killing yourself?" Again I responded with, "No. Why would I want to do that?" She never answered me.
It has been well over 26 years since
that conversation. Yet, I still recall how struck I was by her repeating "Have you ever thought about killing
yourself?" I remember thinking she must be trying to trick me, that
she did not believe me.
I was mystified as to why she would think that I would ever consider such a thing?
It never occurred to me that
she expected her deliberate lack of accommodation to make me suicidal and was surprised that it did not have the effect
that she expected.
In 1985 the female staff person of DSS who I dealt with, was going on about this really amazing movie, "Kiss of the Spider Woman,"
she had seen and told me I would appreciate it. So I went and saw it. Basically two guys are in prison, one is Gay and one
is hetero. At the end of the film, the hetero dude finally gives in to the Gay dude the last night they are together in prison,
the screen goes dark and I do not
remember anything else.
I remember how unimpressed I was. From the way she set it up, I was expecting something
deep and meaningful - it was not. I thought it boring and a waste of time. I had no idea why she thought it
was so cool. I was aware of what DSS was trying to do to me, but that was so unbelievable, I didn't
connect-the-dots until decades later.
She was the confidant of the head of DSS, the woman who was intent on isolating me from my fellow students. This incident, at the time,
I did not think much of. Now it is obvious to me they were trying to change my sexual
orientation and deliberately making me feel suicidal
through their policy of social isolation.
I am willing to meet to meet any of the people or staff of DSS, DSPandS or DRC in a public setting. I would like them to tell me to
my face why
they did what they did to me. I would like to hear them try to jusify how it was possible to treat another person so shabby for so long.
Evidence 1, Evidence 2, Evidence 3 and Evidence 4 show an attitude by DSS,
DSPandS and DRC towards a client they
paid to help educate, an attitude that is astounding. Why DSS, DSPandS and DRC felt it was
okay to do as much damage to my social
life as possible
is a question I would like answered.
I am not misremembering or fabricating events - all incidents actually happened.
I am trying to understand
what happened. I have done my best to accurately remember each one. Hopefully I will be
able to come to terms with
why my life is such a disaster.
Points 7 & 8
are best illustrated by the fact that I was a client
of California Department of Rehabilitation, from 4/16/99 to 8/7/01,
to find steady employment. They successfully closed my case after 28 months.
I thought they were interested in getting me a job? This is success?
They had not found their client a job which was their stated goal.
Ten years after I graduated from UCSC with a degree in Biochemistry I did not have
useful job skills and I did not have a job. While I was their client, though, I did
keep a lot of people employed, so, for those people, my fruitless attempts at finding work
California has cut many essential and non-essential programs to balance the state budget.
Is California Department of Rehabilitation essential? Do they want to work with Head
Stockholm Syndrome and Higher Education
Even though all violence I experieced was psychological, there was no threat of physical violence, it is assumed the Stockholm
Syndrome is a valid model to use in this stituation as I am unaware of any other study of this phenomena.
Stockholm Syndrome is a term used to describe a real paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express
empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings
are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims (their captors had threatened to kill them),
who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
The Syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, Sweden,
in which bank employees were held hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973
Those people were held hostage for six days by people that threatened to kill them.
DSS, DSPandS and DRC never threatened me with physical harm - far from it. Yet, they were my captors. I could not attend the University or College unless I dealt with them.
They said, or implied (DRC), that they were
interested in my education. There was always the message too, that indicated,
"You're not a worthwhile person. Your writing is pathetic and it's not our problem." from
people who claimed they were helping me get an education. .
In lecture I was always aware of my inability to take notes.
and, most recently (2007-2008), the mocking resentment I felt directed at me whenever I was in the office of DRC.
There are three examples of the Stolkholm Syndrome which are illuminating as to what I experienced, that is
I can identify with the feelings these people expressed.
Mary McElroy was kidnapped and held for ransom in 1933 and released by her captors unharmed. She took her own life in 1940.
In Spring 1987, The constant humilation, the attacks on my sexual orientation and the social isolation
caused by DSS and their
policy of denial-of-sevice was
finally breaking me. I was starting to feel suicidal after two and half years of torment
and started joking about killing myself.
Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974. After two months in captivity, she actively took part
in a robbery they were orchestrating.
Like Patty Hearst, I was actively partipating in a script that
my captors (DSS, DSPandS and DRC) had written, but, in my case, I was alone and not carrying out my captors wishes (
so I thought).
I was desperately writing my homework, doing the best I could and seeing how bad it was.
The entire time being aware that my friends were enjoing themselves going to parties or movies or sharing dinners etc..
I was caught between a rock and a hard place.
If I did my homework I might do okay in class (I never had time to study for
my midterms or final), but I would not
have time to be
with my friends. If I made time for my friends I would fail all my classes.
Jaycee Lee Dugard was abducted at age 11 by Phillip and Nancy Garrido at a school bus stop in 1991 and was imprisoned
at their residence for 18 years. Dugard has since admitted to forming an emotional bond with Garrido (he raped her repeatedly and
impregnated her twice) with great guilt and regret.
I invited DSS to my graduation even though I was aware of what they were doing to my academic
record, my social life and my friendships. I invited eight other people and they all came (my brother flew in from Hanover,
I was thinking DSS would be proud of me. When no one showed up, however,
I came up with all these rationales why they had not come. Actually, I think they were ashamed
of what I was (disabled) and annoyed by my existence.
I was living testament
to their futile efforts to break me.
I feel guilty for ignoring what DSS had been doing to me and inviting them to
The assault on my friendships and sexual orientation by DSS and DSPandS was not continous (I would escape to Modesto
or Mariposa to see my best friend - twice a month) or I would have killed myself.
I felt really bad about myself almost all the time I was at either
UC Santa Cruz or Cabrillo College.
All the time I was working on my homework I was aware something was not right, but
always attributed those feelings to myself.
There was something inherently wrong with me, with my existence. It was something
I had done - it was never what was
being done to me by
those that were helping me with their policy of denial-of-service
If I was unaware of this issue, I would want to know and, I believe, the same
is true for other people. I get the impression that I am the first TBI survivor to speak about my treatment and its consequences.
I risk my credibility by speaking about this now. Understand I spoke up back in 1984 and was attacked by the head of DSS.
She did not want to hear anything that was not positive and glowing about the job DSS was doing. Scanning various websites of Colleges
and Universities, I realized nothing has changed. I emailed 16 schools about services they provide (April 20, 2011) and got back two responses,
this is motivating me. TBI survivors are people. People need to know what is going on , what I was subjected to and
the effects it is having on my life. So, I am speaking about what was done to me.
DSS, DSPandS and DRC deseve full credit for my terrible self image and damaged life.
I am trying to come-to-grips with
why I have been alone for 18 years.
I am not a criminal, yet they deliberately did this to me for some reason of which I am unaware.
How do the conditions responsible for the Stockholm Syndrome influence the way the ADA was written,
that is, why are staff people, who knowingly break the law, are still employed in the
same job and allowed to escape justice?
How do the conditions that lead to the Stockholm Syndrome influence (prevent) other victims of abuse, by
sadistic staff people, from speaking about