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My diploma in Biochemistry.

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Acronym definitions
  • PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
  • TBI --- Traumatic Brain Injury.
  • ADA -- Americans with Disabilities Act.

  • DSS ---- Disabled Student Services at UC Santa Cruz. I was their client starting Fall 1984 to Spring 1990.
  • DSPandS - Disabled Students Program and Services at Cabrillo College. I was their client starting Fall 1991 to Spring 2007.
  • DRC --- Disabled Resource Center at UC Santa Cruz. I was their client starting Fall 2007 to Spring 2008.

  • DSS was renamed DRC after my sham graduation from UC Santa Cruz in 1989. Their website says in the 1990's, but no more accurate information is available. I found the exact same facade of service under a new name. Changing the name had affected the hostility I found with DSS. It was more apparent with DRC.
  • DSPandS was renamed Accessibility Support Center (ASC) when I checked in November 2014. Is this the same facade of service under a new name?
Ray - my friend and buddy
for 34 years.
I am a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivor with a degree in Biochemistry, I earned after my accident. The experts kept telling me, healing from my
TBI was no longer possible. Happily, I ignored them (their dire/sadistic attempts to make me feel hopeless) and listened to other head injury survivors.
Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy did allow me recovery from my TBI 31 years after the climbing accident my family and friends thought had killed me,

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) - Recovery for Head Injury (TBI) Survivors.
The equation used
as an example.
25 years after my accident.
No HBOT sessions.
15 minutes using a pencil.
Lots of erasing.
31 years after my accident
and 60 HBOT sessions.
About one minute using a pen.
No erasing.

Right shoe
Severe dragging damage

Before HBOT.

Right shoe
Little dragging damage

After three HBOT sessions.

My right shoe (in the left picture) illustrates the damage to my right shoe caused by my foot dragging on the ground. I was tired of exercising and having it not respond. I had no expectations of it ever changing.
I have been using the shoe (in the right picture) for three months. Damage from dragging on the ground is no longer an expensive and unpleasant reality. No more cheap, uncomfortable and poorly made shoes!
In 1983, a 165 foot rock climbing fall left me in coma for six weeks, with a broken back, a TBI and other serious injuries. 31 years after my accident I had finally given up on exercising to improve my physical condition. The right side of my body didn't respond to motor input anymore. Exercise made me tired, but had no effect on my right side - it was really discouraging. Then in August 2014 I heard about HBOT on Brain Injury Radio. Intrigued, I contacted Bay Area Hyperbarics though I had no expectations of ever having a functioning right side of my body again.
I was (and am) utterly astounded by this completely unexpected positive increase in my physical well being.

After 60 HBOT sessions:
  • I am using my diaphragm to form words again. The volume and depth of my voice is increasing. It is becoming easier for me to make myself heard in noisy locations. My normal speaking voice is returning after being gone for 31 years.
  • After session 3, I realized my right foot was not longer dragging on the ground. It was ruining my shoes and

    The picture above is a link to Bay Area Hyperbarics,
    in the southern San Francisco Bay Area.
    did not respond to exercise, I did not know what else I could do.
  • I was so used to chewing with the left side of my mouth, that I was unaware I was doing that. After 31 years I chew with both sides of my mouth again.
  • I can stand with weight on my right leg again. It would not support me before HBOT and I fell a few times a year for 31 years.
  • After 31 years I have stopped favoring my right leg. My weight is equally spread between my feet once more.
  • After 31 years I no longer lean to the right.
  • After 31 years fine motor control is returning to the right side of my body.
  • I can shave faster with less pressure.
  • Before session 16 I was able to stand free without having to constantly brace myself.
  • After 31 years I can read print with both eyes open again.
  • After 31 years I can hand write letters again.
  • I can pet my cat with my right hand now, without her trying to bite me.
  • After 31 years I can eat using my right hand again.
  • For the first time ever I can write my own mathematical equations (calculus) and have the time to error check them for Algebraic mistakes.
  • I can tutor mathematics, chemistry and physics because now I have the ability to show in writing what I am talking about. Before Hyperbarics I was physically unable to do that.

TBI survivors need to know that they have an alternative to being alone, feeling depressed and miserable about themselves.
I will always be grateful to Bay Area Hyperbarics for helping me mitigate the more serious effects of my TBI.
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Click here for a brief
summary of this website
May 29, 2015

I was the best student (click on the picture to the right to read my evaluation) in Organic Chemistry at UC Santa Cruz in July 1982.

A month later, my brother and I, ran from Tuolumne Meadows to Yosemite Valley (click on the picture of the trail sign to the left to read my account of our jaunt), 29.9 miles in 11 hours.

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My diploma in Biochemistry.

Wireless Technology (WiFi) has serious concerns which
are being deliberately withheld from the consumer.
Ex: Lack of Media coverage of brain cancer causes.

Independent scientists are in rare agreement on
this issue. Read what they are saying about
wireless communications by clicking Here.

Scientific studies and opinions concerning
wireless communications (54), click Links

Better late then never.
31 years after my accident I found
completely unexpected recovery.
to see my amazing experience.

DSS, DSPandS, DRC and other acronyms used are defined HERE

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14 months after my accident, I returned to UC Santa Cruz (UCSC),in Fall 1984 to complete my final year of studies. However, I did not graduate until March 21, 1989. If I had not been a TBI survivor, I would have graduated five years earlier, but I was physically unable to carry a full class load. I would have graduated with the knowledge, for my major, that took me an additional 18 years of dropped, repeated and failed classes (part-time study) to acquire and demonstrate.
The head of DSS introduced me to the concepts of “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness”. This staff person chose to give me help writing (note-takers) for lecture only. She claimed she was not required to help me with my homework, and, therefore, would not She was an expert and it never occured to me that she would lie to me. Anyway I have included the best example of my writing from Spring 2008, 24 years later, I do not have any samples form the early years because my writing was so terrible I threw all my writing away. I did not know what to think. Everytime I objected to DSS and their treatmentof me, she attacked me. I guess she was taking my needs as a personel attack or maybe she thought I was lying, that I was too lazy to write my homework? The thinly veiled hostility, I had noticed, blossomed into undisguised arrogance towards me in the short time I had known this staff person.
She bragged to me about how, she had been hired, because she promised to save money. This Staff person planned to save money by denying needed help to the clients of DSS (ask her confidente - the Staff person I worked with). She also planned to fire Staff that did not agree with her policies and replace them with people that did not protest her new policies. The head of DSS knew how much trouble I had had with finding a capable lab assistant, and yet bragged to me in late Spring 1986 about her plans for a “separate-but-equal” lab facility. A place where disabled students could be further isolated from their peers. A place of educational apartheid, I thought. She did not respond when I asked her where they were going to find the people to run this facility, or where it was going to be built?

Anyway, two brief descriptions of the psychological torture DSS, DSPandS and DRC used on me from Fall 1984 through Spring 2008 follow:

  1. Social Isolationrefers to a complete or near-complete lack of contact with society for members of social species. It is usually involuntary, making it distinct from isolating tendencies or actions consciously undertaken by a person, all of which go by various other names. It is also not the same as loneliness rooted in temporary lack of contact with other humans. Social isolation can be an issue for anyone despite their age, each age group may show more symptoms than the other as children are different from adults.

    Social Isolation” takes fairly common forms across the spectrum regardless of whether that isolation is self-imposed or is a result of a historical lifelong isolation cycle that has simply never been broken, which also does exist. All types of social isolation can lead to staying home for days or weeks at a time; having no communication with anyone including family or even the most peripheral of acquaintances friends; and willfully avoiding any contact with other humans when those opportunities do arise. Even when socially isolated people do go out into public and attempt social interactions, the social interactions that succeed — if any — are brief and at least somewhat superficial.

    For a thorough exploration of this topic, click on “Social Isolation”.

  2. Learned Helplessnessis the condition of a human or animal that has learned to behave helplessly, failing to respond even though there are opportunities for it to help itself by avoiding unpleasant circumstances or by gaining positive rewards. Learned Helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation. Organisms that have been ineffective and less sensitive in determining the consequences of their behavior are defined as having acquired “Learned Helplessness”.

    There are several aspects of human helplessness that have no counterpart among animals. One of the most intriguing aspects is "vicarious learning (or modelling)": that people can learn to be helpless through observing another person encountering uncontrollable events. Apart from the shared depression symptoms between human and other animals such as passivity, introjected hostility, weight loss, appetite loss, social and sexual deficits, some of the diagnostic symptoms of learned helplessness—including depressed mood, feelings of worthlessness, and suicidal ideation—can be found and observed in human beings but not necessarily in other animals. In non-human animal models, control over stress conveys resilience to future uncontrolled stressors and induces changes in the function of specific neurons within the prefrontal cortex.

    For a thorough exploration of this topic, click on “Learned Helplessness”.

    Some of the effects of, “Learned Helplessness”

    • In fall 2004, 15 years after I graduated from UC Santa Cruz, I solved a Calculus problem (at Cabrillo College) using trigonometric
      substitution when the instructor didn’t think it could be done using any method other then partial fractions. I was able to do that because a friend did all the writing (on a whiteboard) while I did all the thinking and told him what to write. I know, for a fact, if I had had to workout that problem on my own, I could not achieved the result I did, because writing is so difficult for me. Calculus skills are essential for the Chemistry 163 series at UC Santa Cruz.

    • In fall 2007 I scored 79 on the Chemistry 163A midterm (quantum theory, UC Santa Cruz), while the class average was 59. I would have scored an 87, but did not have assistance in preparing my equation sheet (DRC never offered to help me with my writing, though they knew I needed help, I had told them) and so, chose not write down the formula for the angular momentum of a particle, because the act of writing was so difficult for me. As a result, I lost eight points on the first problem, because I needed that formula, but did not have it. If DRC was truly interested in helping me with my education, they would have supplied me with writing assistance. However, like DSS before them, they did not do their job and attacked me for telling my notetaker to do a better job (Spring 2008).

    • The team of, Martin Seligman and Steve Maier (University of Pennesylvania, 1967), noted the effects of “Learned Helplessness” on the people who observed what was being done to 'others' who needed help, but were denied. They saw an increased lack of empathy, of "blaming the victim," for needing help. In otherwords, the effects of “Learned Helplessness” extend beyond the disabled student (who is directly affected), to his/her peers. From their observations (and others), our education system has been subverted to teach intolerance and harshness by the use of, “Learned Helplessness”. The policy of “Social Isolation” ensures that the victim (TBI survivor) is unlikely to ever talk about their educational experiences, because they think, wrongly, that nobody cares. A more correct realization is that, "Nobody knows," of what is being done to their, brothers and sisters who have survived a TBI.

    • Lynne MacDonald (Demand Media) observed the effects of stress and depression among employees who were subjected to, “Learned Helplessness”. Furthermore, she also recognized, "passivity," as a outcome, noting that, "Their experience teaches them to react passively to similar situations as a means of coping," which explains bevavior of mine which I thought was bizarre (not advocating for myself).

    Martin Seligman (University of Pennsylvania, 1967) noticed that dogs that had learned to behave helplessly did not attempt to escape unpleasent stimuli (mild electric shock). Likewise, I knew I needed writing help, but would not advocate for myself. Here were two examples of the benefits (and consequences of denial of accommodation), but I remained quiet - DSS had conditioned me to accept the destruction of my social life (whenever I was in school), not to speak about my social needs as a human being not being met.

    No one has ever made the connection before, between, “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness”. It is reckless, to knowingly engage in such behavior with no feedback mechanism. Maybe DSS, DSPandS and DRC were ashamed of what they were doing to their clients and did not want other people to see what they were up to? Whatever the reason, the lack of feedback meant that there was no way to improve services for their clients with TBI. What the use of these programs has done to my life because of no feedback (or oversight) is sobering.

    It seems the purpose of DSS, DSPandS and DRC was not my education They had zero intention of helping me with my education. They did present the Facade (note-takers), but they really had no intention of helping me and every intention of denying me accommodation whenever possible.

    From my experience, I conclude, the purpose of DSS, DSPandS and DRC was to make the observer think that TBI survivors were being served, when in fact; they were not.

Most importantly, I would have avoided the “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness” which DSS used to make me docile and manipulate me.
DSS' actions of 29 years ago, started the process that continues to mess up my life, today (September 2013).

I had noticed a thinly veiled hostility directed at me from the head of DSS in early Fall 1984, but thought I was imagining things. DSS was here to help me, after all. I had no idea that DSS was trying to save money by denying needy students accommodation for their disability. Or that they had no training in dealing with TBI and its specific needs. My concern was to continue with my education after I survived a TBI that, everyone thought, had killed me.

Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
Section 1 (of 7)
My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]

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More of the Same

In 1990 the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law, but nothing was different for me in Higher Education. Having been attacked and bullied at UCSC years before whenever I protested my treatment by DSS, I had been conditioned to keep my mouth shut and not to question how I was being treated. After years of Social Isolation and denial of accommodation (Learned Helplessness), I became used to being alone and I always felt bad about myself. Sometimes I felt very self-destructive, even suicidal - this was the school experience I became accustomed to.

When I experienced the same treatment and had the same self-destructive feelings at Cabrillo College - I was not surprised. At that point I assumed the ADA did not apply to me. It never occured to me that one of the Staff People of DSPandS was deliberately breaking the law by knowingly denying me accommodation for my disability.

Starting Fall 1991, I attended Cabrillo College, as a client of DSPandS, on and off, for 16 years. I returned to UCSC as a client of DRC in Fall 2007 and Winter/Spring 2008. My need for help writing has been acknowledged by both campuses, but has never extended beyond lecture at either school.

Some consequences of “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness

The effects of the isolation from my fellow students and the costant humiliation of these two policies were really horrible. I had no idea what I had done to deserve this treatment. I have 24 years of experience dealing with professional people who want to help me. I think their behavior is due to them not knowing what to do with a TBI Survivor. As I did not fit into their twisted version of reality, these Staff people were determined to withhold service from me, to make me 'fit' into their twisted view of reality. If the schools were doing their job, in my case, this waste of my time, my life and my money could have been prevented.

From my experience the humiliation, we are subjected to everyday, is mind numbing. The social isolation and loneliness of being a TBI survivor is really horrible. What sadistic person dreamed this existence up? "Social Isolation" and "Learned Helplessness" are very effective methods of Psychological Torture. Look at what these programs have done to my life. Why else would I participate in the humiliation and shame for 24 years? (masochism does not appeal to me). Where is the surprise TBI Survivor's often commit suicide? 100% of the time the suicide is blamed on the TBI, without any evidence to back that idea up? If these people make these assertions, they need to supply the data that supports what they are saying.

People, that have never been discriminated against, are trying to justify why TBI Surviors are to blame, for the discrimination we face every day. Who are these people to tell other people what it's like to be disabled when they are not? I would have gone crazy if not for my friends.

There is no responsibility assigned to the reality of no support the TBI Survivor faces. I am unaware of any attempt to find out what the TBI Survivor needs or thinks. I lived in a cooperative, "The Daily Planet," for a couple of years, starting in 1990. I lived with seven other people. I grew used to having other people around, to having people nearby to ask for help. They respected me for who I was. Loneliness had been a real drag for me. I was going crazy from it and suddenly it was gone. I started to get creative once again and wrote The Pass then. Moving from the, "Daily Planet," is the worst decision I have ever made.

Other TBI Survivors are not as fortunate as I was. Eventually, the lack of support, the loneliness and the ridicule they face is so horrible, they take their own life. I have lived, and am living it. While I would never do something like that, I can understand the depression and despair that would lead someone else to commit suicide. I can not understand why we are so indifferent to the needs of our disabled brothers and sisters they would feel they have no other option?

Treating disabled students as people.

School is the proper environment to teach people to empathize and care for each other. Instead students are taught to ridicule, humiliate and avoid students that have survived accidents that used to kill everyone that had the misfortune to encounter one.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein

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My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]

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A smiling Staff Member of DSPandS (in their office at Cabrillo College) bragged to me in October 2009, she had deliberately chosen to withhold writing assistance from me for many years, though she knew I needed it. My mouth, literally, fell open. Did this Staff person know what they were saying? Was she aware of the, “Social Isolation” to which her actions condemned me? I made few friends because I was always doing my homework. I had no social life. I could not comphrehend her pride in what she had done. Was she proud of breaking the law, in front of everyone, for so many years and getting away with it?

Her contempt for me is shown by the fact she told me. She had been deliberately denying me accommodation for 16 years. Enough time (more than 90 days since I was last enrolled at Cabrillo College) had elapsed so she assumed, legally she was safe from prosecution. She was safe from a criminal lawsuit, but she wasn't thinking about a civil lawsuit. The fact that I was competent to look into the possibility of a civil lawsuit against her, her immediate superior(s) and her employer, did not occur to her. Which serves to illustrate the attitude of the people that were helping me with my education.

I survived a traumatic accident, that everyone thought had killed me.
How was, being a TBI survivor, used by DSS, DSPandS and DRC as justification in choosing not to accommodate my disability? Does that explain why they felt it necessary to wreck my life?

Seligman & Maier observed in 1967, puzzling behavior in dogs. These dogs made no attempt to escape adverse stimuli (electric shock). This behavior was termed, “Learned Helplessness.” The dogs had been subjected to events beyond their control and learned to behave helplessly. DSS, DSPandS and DRC saying they were not aware of what they were doing to me is not credible. It had been known for 17 years before I was a client of DSS about the effects of, “Learned Helplessness” on mammals.

In a email from UCSC was a pdf document, dated November 2, 2010 (I requested the hard copy, 5/23/12, 5/24/12, finally mailing a written request 6/29/12 and received the pdf document 7/11/12). The "Assistant Chancellor/Chief of Staff" of UCSC, implied I was responsible for UCSC's discrimination, that my expectations were the source of my problems, their lack of service was not a factor. DSS and DRC, breaking the law and using my disability to harm me, was not mentioned.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day."
Section 3 (of 7)
My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]

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When I returned to UCSC after my accident I was writing at 1/6 of my previous speed. The head of DSS introduced me to the concepts of “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness”. This Staff person chose to give me help writing (note-takers) for lecture only. She claimed she were not required to help me with my homework, and, therefore, would not (I have included the best example of my writing from Spring 2008, 24 years later). The thinly veiled hostility, I had noticed, blossomed into undisguised arrogance towards me in the short time I had worked with this Staff person.

The head of DSS bragged to me about how, she had been hired, because she promised to save money. This Staff person planned to save money by denying needed help to the clients of DSS (ask her confidente - the Staff person I worked with). She also planned to fire Staff that did not agree with her policies and replace them with people that did not protest the new policies. The head of DSS knew how much trouble I had had with finding a capable lab assistant, and yet bragged to me in late Spring 1986 about her plans for a “separate-but-equal” lab facility. A place where disabled students could be further isolated from their peers. A place of educational apartheid, I thought. The head of DSS did not respond when I asked where they were going to find the people to run this facility, or where it was going to be built?

After repeated refusals and attacks by this Staff person, I came to expect angry denials, if I were foolish enough to keep requesting accommodation for my disability. DSS was not educating students and she did not like to be reminded of that fact. I did not realize the head of DSS had been hired to save money. She had not been hired to help clients with their education. The head of DSS got upset at me for reminding her of the hypocrisy of her position. This Staff person was not accountable to anyone for what DSS did to their clients. She told me that she was in charge of my education and I had to do whatever she decided. This Staff person made it very clear (it was stated to me), she was not interested in any feedback from me.

I really disliked the head of DSS and found out my animosity was shared by every student
that had to work with DSS. This Staff person called a meeting on December 1st 1986 at Stevenson College (UCSC) for all clients of DSS. She was late. As soon as she appeared, she started in by telling us, she had decided (in conference with the Staff person I worked with) note taking was a waste of money and therefore would be canceled. Every client DSS worked with (about 35 of us) lit into her. The “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness” had not beaten us down. The head of DSS was not expecting us to stand up for our rights - it was too funny. She got really flustered and would not look at us. She did not just feign suprise, she was surprised, at how angry we were with her.

I finally realized it was not just me that was getting attacked. She was bullying every disabled student. Everyone of us hated her.

There's a story about the military pilot asking for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running “a little rough.”
Air Traffic Control told him he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

There is silence for a moment and the fighter pilot says, “Not the dreaded seven engine landing?”.

Section 4 (of 7)
My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]
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Jan, the one Staffer at DSS I liked, who I had rapport with, was fired. At the time I wondered why? I asked the head of DSS, who came up with some cock-and-bull story about how Jan was not doing her job, etc.. I did not believe her, but let it go. DSS was now under the exclusive control of the Staff People who despised me for my disability.

The remaining Staff People of DSS thought they had crushed me, that I was beaten down by them, that I would never tell about their sadistic and shameful actions. Who would listen to, or believe a recipient of their abuse, after this long a time? Epecially when these revelations of abuse are coming from a student who can not even speak clearly? Why is he credible?

Five reasons spring immediately to mind:

  1. I have a degree in Biochemistry.

  2. I have the background (my senior research) to analyze what was done to me..

  3. I took the time (18 years) to actually be proficient in the various aspects/material that my degree encompassed.

  4. I am well aware of the paranoia from my PTSD and am making real effort to not let my analysis turn into an angry rant about the Staff who subjected me to “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness”.

  5. I was researching, "Psychological Torture," and I came across, “ Learned Helplessness”. Intrigued, I read more about it and some really puzzeling behavior, suddenly made sense. They have known about, “Learned Helplessness” and its effects since 1967 (17 - 18, years). Was what was done to me was deliberate? Did DSS know what they were doing? DRC was doing the same destructive Behavior Modification in Fall 2007 and Winter/Spring 2008.
There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of a sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. His veterinarian can't figure it out. In desperation, the farmer calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything.
Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several intricate and involved calculations, he excitedly exclaims, "I've got it!" and then sheepishly admits, "My solution will only work for spherical chickens in a vacuum."
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My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]
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The Effects of 24 years of DSS', DSPandS' and DRC's ignoring my disability:

  • I became used to spending enormous amounts of time alone, working on my homework. It was always hard to read, poorly composed and unfinished.
    My best effort to write the left half of the
    upper formula in Spring 2008. Try to imagine
    how bad my writing was 24 years before this.
    This had the following scholastic effects:

    1. In the 24 years I was a client of DSS, DSPandS and DRC, I did not turn in one completed homework assignment in any of my classes.

    2. I never studied for midterms or finals. I was still trying to finish my homework.

    3. I never used the equation sheets that I wrote for my midterms or finals - they were indecipherable. I still made them, had them with me sometimes, but could not figure out what my scribbles meant.

    4. I did not have time to study with my fellow students, join any clubs or associations.

    5. I dropped classes, I repeated classes and I even failed some.

    6. Every time (without exception) that I raised objection to the way I was treated, I was attacked by DSS and DRC. This started in Fall 1984, Winter/Spring 1985 and Spring 2008.

    7. The “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness” that DSS started, DSPandS and DRC continued. I could not do well in class without writing help, so my academic record was completely ruined as a result.

    8. My dreams of graduate school were destroyed by these people. I scored a "93" ("99" possible) on the GRE subject exam (Biology) in October 1987.I even applied to and went on an interview for graduate school in Pharmaceutical Chemistry at UCSF in Spring 1990, but could not get excited about continuing with school. Because of DSS and their denial of accommodation for my disability, I knew my degree was a sham. I had few friends and my social life was wrecked. My heart was not into more of this education (graduate school).
  • “Physics isn't the most important thing. Love is.” - Richard P. Feynman (Nobel prize winning Physicist)
    Section 6 (of 7)
    My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]
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  • The lack of training for DSS, DSPandS and DRC to rehabilitate TBI Survivors, made it seem they wanted to isolate and punish me for being disabled. Their actions not only shredded my academic record, they also started, and continued, the destruction of my private life.

    1. I had hours and hours to dwell on how ashamed I was of my writing. I was doing my best and my homework always looked terrible - It was really depressing.

    2. While in school, I had no time to maintain existing friendships. Most of them faded away.

    3. I couldn't focus on movies, dinners, lunches or anything - I was always preoccupied with homework I had not finished or homework that I could not do.

    4. DSS, DSPandS and DRC constantly treated me like a freak. I felt like there was something wrong with me for being alive, wanting to continue with my education after surviving a horrendous accident and needing help. Being denied accommodation, by the people being paid to help me with my education, reinforced that I deserved what they chose to do to me. My “Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness” was initiated by DSS, then strongly reinforced by DSPandS and DRC.

    5. While aware of some women's interest in me, I couldn't believe it, I felt really hopeless and despicable. Weren't they aware that I was physically unable to finish my homework, though I kept trying and trying? I could pay my rent, eat and not much else. How could I support them and a family? I felt really terrible about myself.

    6. I was, and still am, harassed by some Gay men. I am amazed and amused at DSS for starting this and DSPandS and DRC for continuing it. These Staff People were so sadistic and humorless, I have to laugh at them. The repercussions of their actions (sexual harssment), however, are not funny and I find no humor in what they have done to my life.
  • The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment.
    "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation follows)." In the middle
    of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it.
    "Hmmm," says the theorist, "You'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".
    Section 7 (of 7)
    My diploma in Biochemistry. [Page 2]
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    I am aware of, and remember specific incidents that illustrate, what the Staff People of DSS did (“Social Isolation”and “Learned Helplessness”), and were trying to do, to me. For example:

    • The head of DSS is the most sadistic and unpleasent person I have ever known. I happened upon a book she and the woman she brought in, to replace Jan Phillips, published. The title was, "Faculty Guidelines for Teaching Students with Disabilities". I wrote a review which was not favorable back in 2005 (I think). Click Here to see the book and my review. Once, after this Staff person had again denied me accommodation for my disability, she asked me if I had ever thought about killing myself? This Staff person seemed disappointed when I responded truthfully with, "No. Why would I want to do that?" I guess my answer was unbelievable, as she asked me again. She got the same reply. I think, her policies of “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness” were not having the desired effect. Eventually, working with DSS made me crazy enough to intimate self destruction, but not in Fall 1984.

    • The Staff Person I had to work with at DSS, was not satisfied with destroying my social life, ruining most of my friendships and making me feel suicidal. She was even trying to change my sexual orientation - click on my evidence for my example. I was her 'victim', her plaything and she could do anything she liked as no one would ever find out.
      This series of events is so unbelievable, it seems ludicrous, like a dark comedy written by some crazy people. I lived it and, realizing what she was trying to do, I am amazed at how much I still despise that Staff Person. She was working for DRC (up at UC Santa Cruz) in 2008 where I saw her when I could not avoid it. How this Staff person could be so oblivious to how people she had worked with, to the ammount of loathing and anger I still have towards her 18 years later, illustrates that they viewed me as someone to manipulated, a person who was incapable of feelings of anger and rage. I was a freak who deserved to be treated like a second class citizen, because I-didn't-matter and no one would ever find out.
      This Staff person stands as an example of why Staff people need to be trained for positions where they will be working with TBI Survivors.

    • Rehabilitation of TBI survivors is very importent. Recruitment of capabable lab and writing assistants is a priority that should not be left to Staff people who have shown that they will not take TBI survivors educational aspirations, seriously.

    I think the Staff of DSS, DSPandS and DRC, who
    did this to me, were expecting me to drop out of school. They made little effort to help me with my education, rather, I have the definate impression, they expected me to go away. I was determined to improve my life and would not go away. Why were they trying to make me go away? I can not figure that out. They seemed to want me to give up on improving my life. That is what their actions seemed meant to do. The fact they left me with feelings of hopelessness, despair and paranoia (PTSD) was my problem - not theirs.

    The ADA had been written so that they were protected from criminal lawsuits by their clients (as long as they did not inform their clients of their rights), however, civil lawsuits are another story. I am looking to make things very uncomfortable for the people who wrecked my life. In my case, they never told me I had the option of taking them to Court. If they had, the “Learned Helplessness” they had given me, would have protected them from a lawsuit.

    I had rationalized how DSS, DSPandS and DRC were helping me with my education. I was sure they would never choose to deny me accommodation for my disability, though that was exactly what they had done to me. It has taken me five years to get past the feelings of helplessness and despair that DSS, DSPandS and DRC used to stop any of their clients from speaking about their treatment. As I have noted before, they are protected from prosecution for Psychological Torture, they inflict upon their clients, by the way the ADA has been written. In other words, they are free to wreck their clients lives, as they have done to my life.

    Two Pages to go.

    24 years of emotional trauma at the college and university.
    I was the top student in Organic Chemistry at UC Santa Cruz in the summer of 1982.
    A year later, in mid-summer 1983, a 165 foot rock climbing fall did not end my life or paralyze me, despite breaking my back. I woke six weeks later to an unforseen lifestyle change. While unconcious, I had been transfomed into a criminal who survived a traumatic accident with a head injury.
    As I have never been imprisoned: “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness” were two new concepts to me. These two policies would ruin 32 years of my life; leaving me with no way to afford a family, few friends and a terrible self image.
    After 24 years of schooling, I am disabled, poor, unemployed and unemployable, because I was fooled into believing staff people were interested in helping educate me.
    Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4
    An indifferent reality.

    In Fall 1984, my 24 year educational experience of paranoid loneliness and social isolation from my peers and the people around me was begun at the UC campus.

    The organizations that help disabled students with their education, attempted to make me go away by denying me accommodation for my disability.

    This was a deliberate event. I can not imagine why anyone would treat a law abiding American Citizen like a criminal, though I have tried.

    The Staff people that did this to me were (and are) sadistic monsters who broke the law.

    My diploma in Biochemistry.

    24 years of psychological torture, “Social Isolation” and “Learned Helplessness” for the final year of my degree. They had conditioned me in 1984/1985 to get used to being treated badly (sadistically) by them and I no longer protested anything about my treatment after initially being attacked whenever I had.

    The staff I was forced to work with at the UC campus and the Community College ignored parts of the ADA from its passage in 1990, until Spring 2008 (one of them bragged to me in October 2009), I finally realized these people had no intention of ever doing their job and I finally dropped out of school.

    Educational Aftermath.
    My life is really sad, isolated and depressing,
    because I refused to give up hope for my rehabilitation. I kept looking forwards, trying to ignore the the subtle, but constant, sadism from the staff that were helping me and would not drop out of school for 24 years.

    Senior research.

    What these Staff people did to me is not unique to the UC campus and the community college I attended. The attitude they were using to justify their actions was evident wherever I looked on the Internet.

    Internet research.

    Decriminalize head injury.
    • TBI survivors are not criminals or freaks - educate us.
    • Toughen and Enforce The ADA.
    • Make feedback mandatory.
    • Make staff accountable for their actions.

    There is strong correlation between cell phone use and brain cancer. Follow these links (54) to scientific studies and opinions.

    Links 1 - 27 or Links 28 - 54

    As a head injury survivor, I needed
    help with my education, but that
    is not what I got.

    You are here
    Public employess chose to deprive the human race of a needed, dedicated and intelligent, cancer researcher (me), because they could.
    These people intentionally ruined my chances to live a normal life and provide for a family because I am a head injury survivor.
    Please help me expose them. Send links of this website with a brief explanation to every US government agency,
    US government official, US government employee, anyone and/or media sources or organizations you can think of.

    Access 1 Access 2 Access 3

    Links to student access issues Site Map