Up to previous section

I'M MAD (Episode 69)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.

DrSns: Wake up! It's late!
       It's twenty minutes after eight
       Everyone get up; it's time to go
       Up and at 'em now
       Come on; shake a leg
       Have some juice and scrambled egg
       On the floor and out the door
       Let's get on our way.
Dot  : Hey, watch out!
Yakko: What's the matter?
Dot  : You almost knocked me off the ladder
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot  : Yes you did; I almost fell
Yakko: Don't exaggerate
Dot  : I'm not
Yakko: Yeah, right
Dot  : Are you trying to pick a fight?
Yakko: Will you get out of my face?!
Dot  : Well, you're always in my space
DrSns: Hey get off each other's case
       Because we're trying to get along.
Wakko: I want pancakes
       Or a waffle
       This tastes awful
       Is that all we've got?
       Can't find my clothes
       And I need to blow my nose
       And my socks are full holes
       And my shoelace has a knot.
Dot  : That's my toothbrush
Yakko: No it's not
Dot  : Well, it's sitting in my slot
Yakko: No it isn't; this is mine and that one's yours
Dot  : Well, you're standing in my way
Yakko: Yeah, that's tough
DrSns: Alright now that's enough
       Everybody get your stuff
       Because we're going out the door.

DrSns: Every time we get into the car
       It's so much work
       It takes us twenty minutes
       While you're driving me berserk
       With your playing und your jumping
       Und your running all about
       When I finally get you inside
       You always lock me out!

Dot  : I'm mad, I'm mad
       I'm really, really, really mad
       You poked me with your elbow in my side
Yakko: No I didn't!
Dot  : Yes you did
Yakko: Nuh-uh
Dot  : You did
       And I'm just a little kid
       You're lying; don't deny it
Yakko: Oh, I'm gonna hit you
Dot  : Yeah, just try it
DrSns: Will both of you be quiet
       'Cause we're driving in a car!

Dot  : Ow, he hit me!
Yakko: Ow, she bit me!
Dot  : He said he's gonna "get me"
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot  : Yes you did!
DrSns: Alright that's it; now I forbid
       Either one of you to say another word!

Wakko: Are we there yet?
       I'm tired.
       I'm hungry.
       How far?
       My nose is snotty
       Need to move my body
       Gotta use the potty
       Better stop the car.
Dot  : Stop it!
Yakko: No, you stop it
DrSns: Why can't you both just drop it?
Dot  : Well, he started it
Yakko: Oh, yeah, I'm really sure, uh-huh
Dot  : Na-ah
Yakko: Uh-uh
Dot  : It's your fault
Yakko: No it's not.
       Your leg is in my spot
DrSns: Yakko you be quiet
       Und that goes for you too, Dot!
DrSnS: Every time we take a trip
       It's always just the same
       With the fighting und the biting
       Und the calling all those names
       Then there's pushing und there's shoving
       Und there's scratching on the neck
       When we finally get to where we're going
       Everyone's a wreck!

YW+D : Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!
Dot  : I'm mad, I'm mad                       Wakko: Are we there yet?
       I'm really, really, really mad                I'm tired.
       You poked me with your elbow in my side       I'm hungry.
Yakko: No I didn't!                                  How far?
Dot  : Yes, you did, you did                         My nose is snotty
       And I'm just a little kid                     Need to move my body
DrSns: Will both of you be quiet                     Got to use the potty
       'Cause we're driving in a car!                Better stop the car.

DrSns: We're here, we're here
       Doesn't anybody want to give a cheer?
Yakko: You mean this is where we're all gonna spend the day?
Dot  : At the circus?!
Wakko: Hey, guys, look! They got rides!
DrSns: Now you're satisfied?
       Alright, everyone inside
       And let's have some fun, okay?
YW+D : Yay!!!
Dot  : I'm glad, I'm glad
       What a really great time we had
       Did you see those lions and those tigers
       Weren't they neat?
DrSns: Are you happy now?
Dot  : We are; thanks a lot
       I'm sorry that we fought
       From now on I'll get along
Yakko: That's alright, Dot; I was wrong
DrSns: Ah that's nice, now come along
       Let's all get in the car.
Dot  : You can take the seat you like
       You're always so gallant
Yakko: Ah, thank you, Dot, but ladies first
       You take the seat you want
DrSns: Everybody's happy now
       We've had a real good day
       Und now it's time to go back home
       So let's be on our way.
Dot  : You hit me
Yakko: No I didn't
Dot  : Yes you did.  Stop it!
Yakko: No, you stop it
Dot  : Move your leg
Yakko: No, you move your leg
Dot  : You started it
Yakko: No I didn't, you did
Dot  : No I didn't, you did
Yakko: So what?
Dot  : You always start it!
Yakko: Don't you cross that line!
Dot  : You're not the boss of me!
Yakko: This is where the line is, right here!
Dot  : Oh yeah? Since when? Get out of my face! I'm the boss here!
Yakko: Dr Scratchansniff, she started it!

Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.

YW+D  : She's a cranky old critter
        She's bitter
        We warn ya
        She lives in a treehouse
        In Burbank
        Along with her nephew
        He says "spew"
        He's cheerful
        Then his aunt
        Starts to rant
        She gives him an earful
        She's grumpy
        He's happy
        It's generation-gappy
        Take a whirl
        With the squirrels
        Skippy and Slappy!
Slappy: Ah, put a sock in it!
Skippy: That's my...
YWD+Sk: ...Aunt Slappy!

A QUAKE! A QUAKE! (Episode 70)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.

Music adapted from The Happy Farmer by Robert Schumann.

According to Rogel, these were his original lyrics. The song also appeared on the Yakko's World album with heavily altered lyrics. See the separate entry below for those.

Yakko: This is the city: Los Angeles, California.
       On a starlit winter night
       When the moon was shining bright
       Back in January of 1994,
       At 4:30 in the morning
       And without a single warning
       Something strange began to move the floor.
(song begins)
Yakko: A quake! A quake!
       The house begins to shake
       You're bouncing 'cross the floor
       And watching all your dishes break.
       You're sleeping; there's a quake
       You're instantly awake
       You're leaping out of bed and shouting
DrSns: Oh for heaven's sake!
Yakko: I ran outside with neighbors
       Their faces filled with shock
       That's because I'm standing there
       In nothing but my socks!
Yakko: Oh, a quake! A quake!
Dot  : Say it's all a big mistake
Wakko: Just feel the ground go up and down
Yakko: Won't someone hit the brake?
       A quake! A quake!
       Oh what a mess they make
       The bricks, the walls, the chimney falls
       Destruction in its wake.
DrSns: I did not have insurance
       So I called zem from ze scene
       Und suddenly I'm listening
       To an answering machine say...

Yakko: Too late! Too late!
       You shouldn't ought to wait
       'Cause now you're stuck; we wish you luck
       Here comes a six-point-eight!
       Whose fault? Whose fault?
       The San Andreas's fault
       'Cause Mister Richter can't predict her
       Kicking our asphalt.
Yakko: Seismologists all say
       Tectonic plates are in between
       An encroaching crustal mantle
W+D  : Yeah, so what the heck's that mean?
Yakko: It means a quake! A quake!
W+D  : Oh really, yeah, no fake?
       We kind of had that feeling
       When the ground began to shake.
Yakko: California's great
       It's such a lovely state
       And every lawn is sitting on
       A continental plate.
Yakko: Los Angeles had fires
       And a riot and a flood
       And then a drought and the recession
       And then now we hear this thud...
Yakko: Of a quake! A quake!
YW+D : How much more can we take?
Dot  : We thought that we had seen it all
Yakko: But this one takes the cake.
       The dirt...
Dot  :             ...the rocks
Wakko: And all those aftershocks
YW+D : It's just the planet moving granite
       Several city blocks.
*YW+D: L.A. town is falling down
*      While the ground
*      Moves around
*      We won't let it get us down
*      We're Californians!
Yakko: A quake...
Dot  :            ...a quake
Wakko: It's time to pull up stake
Yakko: We're all fed up; we can't deny it
Dot  : Fires, quakes, and floods and riot
YW+D : We want some place with peace and quiet
       So we're moving to Beirut!

* - Sung to "London Bridge"

VARIETY SPEAK version 1 (Episode 71)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.

For the second version, see the entry for Hooray for North Hollywood below.

Yakko: In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak
       It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week
Dot  : It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use
Y+D  : And no one understands it when they read the movie news.
Dot  : Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"
Yakko: Means someone made a movie that bombed
Dot  : "The veeps in charge are now at large"
Yakko: Means everyone involved is gone.
Dot  : "The plot conflix; no beautiful chix"
Yakko: So it's coming out on video soon
Dot  : They're "taking their lix"
       'Cause the critics say "nix"
Yakko: And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix.
Dot  : But the "stock sees green" on page thirteen
Yakko: Means Disney's up a nickel a share
Dot  : "Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"
Yakko: Means Rocky number six, so beware.
Dot  : If you want the "poop"
Yakko: Or you need the "scoop"
Y+D  : On Hollywood town this week
       You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
       Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Dot  : "A boffo smash makes Warner cash"
Yakko: Means there's gonna be a sequel next year
Dot  : But "Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts"
Yakko: Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear.
Dot  : "Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"
Yakko: Means he's getting paid an arm and a leg
       The budget goes "crunch"
Dot  : But his name "packs punch"
Yakko: So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch"!
Dot  : Well, the "ratings smile" on the O.J. trial
Yakko: Means a movie of the week to premiere
Dot  : "Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel"
Yakko: To do a hundred thousand movies a year.
YW+D : You gotta play it smart
       If you wanna be part
       Of the crowd that's hip and chic
       You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
       Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
Yakko: Normal talk makes producers walk
Y+D  : You might as well speak Greek
       You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko: Or the meeting will adjourn...
YW+D : Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak!
Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
       Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah!
YW+D : Bah-doop-bah-doop-bah-doop-bahhh-dah!

Lyrics from THREE TENORS AND YOU'RE OUT (Episode 71)
by Jeff Kwitny and Nicholas Hollander

Food Song
(Sung to the Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda by Amilcare Ponchielli.)

Three tenors: Calamari
              (Vir?) Ricotta
              And a big slice of baloney!
For Slippin' on the Ice lyrics, see entry from Episode 50.
Hall of Fame Song
(Sung to the Toreador Song from Carmen by Georges Bizet.)
Three tenors: Tommy Lasorda, Jackie Robinson
              Roy Campanella, Henry Aaron
              Mantle, Maris, Reggie Jackson, Baby Ruth
              Willie Mays, and Filipe Alou
              Lou Gehrig, DiMaggio
              And Rod Carew
              Matty and Moses Alou!
Three tenors: She's the crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world
              Let's play ball with Slappy the Squirrel!
Lyrics from the Finale of Episode 71
by Tom Ruegger
Three tenors: We are Animaniacs
              And we're zany to the max
              So just sit back and relax
              You'll laugh 'til you collapse
              We're Animaniacs!
Pepperoni   : Meet Pinky and the Brain
              Who want to rule the universe
D+C         : There's Skippy and there's Slappy
              Say hi to Hello Nurse
              Buttons chases Mindy
Pepperoni   : While Rita sings a verse
D+C         : The writers flipped
Pepperoni   : We have no script
Three tenors: Why bother to rehearse?
Three tenors: We're Animaniacs
              We have pay-or-play contracts
              We're zany to the max
              There's baloney in our slacks
Domino      : We're Animanie
Carumba     : Totally insaney
Pepperoni   : Spaghetti stainy
Three tenors: Animaniacs!
              Those are the facts!

End of section

Next section -- AMLF menu