I'M MAD (Episode 69)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
DrSns: Wake up! It's late! It's twenty minutes after eight Everyone get up; it's time to go Up and at 'em now Come on; shake a leg Have some juice and scrambled egg On the floor and out the door Let's get on our way. Dot : Hey, watch out! Yakko: What's the matter? Dot : You almost knocked me off the ladder Yakko: No I didn't Dot : Yes you did; I almost fell Yakko: Don't exaggerate Dot : I'm not Yakko: Yeah, right Dot : Are you trying to pick a fight? Yakko: Will you get out of my face?! Dot : Well, you're always in my space DrSns: Hey get off each other's case Because we're trying to get along. Wakko: I want pancakes Or a waffle This tastes awful Is that all we've got? Can't find my clothes And I need to blow my nose And my socks are full holes And my shoelace has a knot. Dot : That's my toothbrush Yakko: No it's not Dot : Well, it's sitting in my slot Yakko: No it isn't; this is mine and that one's yours Dot : Well, you're standing in my way Yakko: Yeah, that's tough DrSns: Alright now that's enough Everybody get your stuff Because we're going out the door. DrSns: Every time we get into the car It's so much work It takes us twenty minutes While you're driving me berserk With your playing und your jumping Und your running all about When I finally get you inside You always lock me out! Dot : I'm mad, I'm mad I'm really, really, really mad You poked me with your elbow in my side Yakko: No I didn't! Dot : Yes you did Yakko: Nuh-uh Dot : You did And I'm just a little kid You're lying; don't deny it Yakko: Oh, I'm gonna hit you Dot : Yeah, just try it DrSns: Will both of you be quiet 'Cause we're driving in a car! Dot : Ow, he hit me! Yakko: Ow, she bit me! Dot : He said he's gonna "get me" Yakko: No I didn't Dot : Yes you did! DrSns: Alright that's it; now I forbid Either one of you to say another word! Wakko: Are we there yet? I'm tired. I'm hungry. How far? My nose is snotty Need to move my body Gotta use the potty Better stop the car. Dot : Stop it! Yakko: No, you stop it DrSns: Why can't you both just drop it? Dot : Well, he started it Yakko: Oh, yeah, I'm really sure, uh-huh Dot : Na-ah Yakko: Uh-uh Dot : It's your fault Yakko: No it's not. Your leg is in my spot DrSns: Yakko you be quiet Und that goes for you too, Dot! DrSnS: Every time we take a trip It's always just the same With the fighting und the biting Und the calling all those names Then there's pushing und there's shoving Und there's scratching on the neck When we finally get to where we're going Everyone's a wreck! YW+D : Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak! Dot : I'm mad, I'm mad Wakko: Are we there yet? I'm really, really, really mad I'm tired. You poked me with your elbow in my side I'm hungry. Yakko: No I didn't! How far? Dot : Yes, you did, you did My nose is snotty And I'm just a little kid Need to move my body DrSns: Will both of you be quiet Got to use the potty 'Cause we're driving in a car! Better stop the car. DrSns: We're here, we're here Doesn't anybody want to give a cheer? Yakko: You mean this is where we're all gonna spend the day? Dot : At the circus?! Wakko: Hey, guys, look! They got rides! DrSns: Now you're satisfied? Alright, everyone inside And let's have some fun, okay? YW+D : Yay!!! Dot : I'm glad, I'm glad What a really great time we had Did you see those lions and those tigers Weren't they neat? DrSns: Are you happy now? Dot : We are; thanks a lot I'm sorry that we fought From now on I'll get along Yakko: That's alright, Dot; I was wrong DrSns: Ah that's nice, now come along Let's all get in the car. Dot : You can take the seat you like You're always so gallant Yakko: Ah, thank you, Dot, but ladies first You take the seat you want DrSns: Everybody's happy now We've had a real good day Und now it's time to go back home So let's be on our way. Dot : You hit me Yakko: No I didn't Dot : Yes you did. Stop it! Yakko: No, you stop it Dot : Move your leg Yakko: No, you move your leg Dot : You started it Yakko: No I didn't, you did Dot : No I didn't, you did Yakko: So what? Dot : You always start it! Yakko: Don't you cross that line! Dot : You're not the boss of me! Yakko: This is where the line is, right here! Dot : Oh yeah? Since when? Get out of my face! I'm the boss here! Yakko: Dr Scratchansniff, she started it!
SLAPPY & SKIPPY INTRODRUCTION (Episode 70)
Music by Richard Stone. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
YW+D : She's a cranky old critter She's bitter We warn ya She lives in a treehouse In Burbank California Along with her nephew He says "spew" He's cheerful Then his aunt Starts to rant She gives him an earful She's grumpy He's happy It's generation-gappy Take a whirl With the squirrels Skippy and Slappy! Slappy: Ah, put a sock in it! Skippy: That's my... YWD+Sk: ...Aunt Slappy!
A QUAKE! A QUAKE! (Episode 70)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Music adapted from The Happy Farmer by Robert Schumann.
According to Rogel, these were his original lyrics. The song also appeared on the Yakko's World album with heavily altered lyrics. See the separate entry below for those.
Yakko: This is the city: Los Angeles, California. On a starlit winter night When the moon was shining bright Back in January of 1994, At 4:30 in the morning And without a single warning Something strange began to move the floor. (song begins) Yakko: A quake! A quake! The house begins to shake You're bouncing 'cross the floor And watching all your dishes break. You're sleeping; there's a quake You're instantly awake You're leaping out of bed and shouting DrSns: Oh for heaven's sake! Yakko: I ran outside with neighbors Their faces filled with shock That's because I'm standing there In nothing but my socks! Yakko: Oh, a quake! A quake! Dot : Say it's all a big mistake Wakko: Just feel the ground go up and down Yakko: Won't someone hit the brake? A quake! A quake! Oh what a mess they make The bricks, the walls, the chimney falls Destruction in its wake. DrSns: I did not have insurance So I called zem from ze scene Und suddenly I'm listening To an answering machine say... Yakko: Too late! Too late! You shouldn't ought to wait 'Cause now you're stuck; we wish you luck Here comes a six-point-eight! Whose fault? Whose fault? The San Andreas's fault 'Cause Mister Richter can't predict her Kicking our asphalt. Yakko: Seismologists all say Tectonic plates are in between An encroaching crustal mantle W+D : Yeah, so what the heck's that mean? Yakko: It means a quake! A quake! W+D : Oh really, yeah, no fake? We kind of had that feeling When the ground began to shake. Yakko: California's great It's such a lovely state And every lawn is sitting on A continental plate. Yakko: Los Angeles had fires And a riot and a flood And then a drought and the recession And then now we hear this thud... Yakko: Of a quake! A quake! YW+D : How much more can we take? Dot : We thought that we had seen it all Yakko: But this one takes the cake. The dirt... Dot : ...the rocks Wakko: And all those aftershocks YW+D : It's just the planet moving granite Several city blocks. *YW+D: L.A. town is falling down * While the ground * Moves around * We won't let it get us down * We're Californians! Yakko: A quake... Dot : ...a quake Wakko: It's time to pull up stake Yakko: We're all fed up; we can't deny it Dot : Fires, quakes, and floods and riot YW+D : We want some place with peace and quiet So we're moving to Beirut! * - Sung to "London Bridge"
VARIETY SPEAK version 1 (Episode 71)
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
For the second version, see the entry for Hooray for North Hollywood below.
Yakko: In Hollywood they have a different language that they speak It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week Dot : It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use Y+D : And no one understands it when they read the movie news. Dot : Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix" Yakko: Means someone made a movie that bombed Dot : "The veeps in charge are now at large" Yakko: Means everyone involved is gone. Dot : "The plot conflix; no beautiful chix" Yakko: So it's coming out on video soon Dot : They're "taking their lix" 'Cause the critics say "nix" Yakko: And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix. Dot : But the "stock sees green" on page thirteen Yakko: Means Disney's up a nickel a share Dot : "Stallone cuts deal for a major reel" Yakko: Means Rocky number six, so beware. Dot : If you want the "poop" Yakko: Or you need the "scoop" Y+D : On Hollywood town this week You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak! Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! Dot : "A boffo smash makes Warner cash" Yakko: Means there's gonna be a sequel next year Dot : But "Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts" Yakko: Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear. Dot : "Oliver Stone does next Home Alone" Yakko: Means he's getting paid an arm and a leg The budget goes "crunch" Dot : But his name "packs punch" Yakko: So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch"! Dot : Well, the "ratings smile" on the O.J. trial Yakko: Means a movie of the week to premiere Dot : "Universal cuts deal with Mister Spiel" Yakko: To do a hundred thousand movies a year. YW+D : You gotta play it smart If you wanna be part Of the crowd that's hip and chic You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety Speak! Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! Yakko: Normal talk makes producers walk Y+D : You might as well speak Greek You're gonna have to learn... Wakko: Or the meeting will adjourn... YW+D : Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety Speak! Girls: Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! Bob-a-doo-bop! A-bob-a-doo-bah! YW+D : Bah-doop-bah-doop-bah-doop-bahhh-dah!
Lyrics from THREE TENORS AND YOU'RE OUT (Episode 71)
by Jeff Kwitny and Nicholas Hollander
(Sung to the Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda by Amilcare Ponchielli.)
Three tenors: Calamari Marinara Ravioli (Vir?) Ricotta Minestrone Macaroni ???? And a big slice of baloney! ---For Slippin' on the Ice lyrics, see entry from Episode 50.
---Hall of Fame Song
Three tenors: Tommy Lasorda, Jackie Robinson Roy Campanella, Henry Aaron Mantle, Maris, Reggie Jackson, Baby Ruth Willie Mays, and Filipe Alou Lou Gehrig, DiMaggio And Rod Carew Matty and Moses Alou! --- Three tenors: She's the crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world Let's play ball with Slappy the Squirrel! ---Lyrics from the Finale of Episode 71
Three tenors: We are Animaniacs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh 'til you collapse We're Animaniacs! Pepperoni : Meet Pinky and the Brain Who want to rule the universe D+C : There's Skippy and there's Slappy Say hi to Hello Nurse Buttons chases Mindy Pepperoni : While Rita sings a verse D+C : The writers flipped Pepperoni : We have no script Three tenors: Why bother to rehearse? Three tenors: We're Animaniacs We have pay-or-play contracts We're zany to the max There's baloney in our slacks Domino : We're Animanie Carumba : Totally insaney Pepperoni : Spaghetti stainy Three tenors: Animaniacs! Those are the facts!
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