AP Wire Service Exclusive. 
  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 
  
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  CAN MUSLIM SCHOLAR'S PROPOSAL
  END VIOLENCE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?
  
  Santa Cruz, CA--In an apparent attempt to upstage Doctor Nick Herbert's
bid for the next Nobel Peace Prize, Nick's shady Arab alter ego Doctor Jabir 'abd al-Khaliq 
has announced what he tactlessly insists on calling "Jabir's Final Solution" 
to the Israeli-Palestinean Problem. Doctor Jabir claims
  that
  all it takes is "a single gesture by the world's most powerful man" to resolve
  this half-century-old conflict in such a way that both sides will benefit -- thus realizing 
  the
  eternally elusive win-win solution to the problem of Middle-Eastern terrorism.
  
  Doctor Jabir plans to make his solution public a full month before Herbert's 
  launch date  for his purported "new upgrade of the Golden Rule". 
  
  Insiders say that
Herbert's moral upgrade will be free but Jabir's Solution 
apparently comes with a hefty sticker price.
  
"I'm asking one billion US dollars from the current US administration if
  Jabir's Solution
  or any of its variants is initiated within the next ten years," said
  the confident Arab
  speaking at his lawyer's beachfront home in Santa Cruz.
  
"We Arabs invented arithmatic and gave it away for free. To appreciate
  the value of
  this gift, try doing physics with Roman numerals. We Arabs invented algebra--which
  NASA uses every day--and we gave that away too."
  
  Doctor 'abd al-Khaliq requested that his billion dollars be awarded as an
unrestricted 
research grant to the Institute of Frontier Science in Oakland
headed by Doctor Beverly Rubik, 
Jabir's former colleague in alternative
  methods of healing.
  
"Jabir's Solution, by eliminating the central cause of World War Three,
will materially delay 
man's wholesale destruction of all life on Earth.
A billion dollars is small change for saving the world, 
don't you think?" the affable Arab remarked between puffs on his hookah.
  
  Offering cakes, tea, and what appeared to be black Afghani hashish, to reporters
from a dozen media outlets, 
the canny Muslim evaded direct questions about
the nature of his solution, repeating over and over, almost as a mantra,
 the sing-song phrase, "A single dramatic gesture by the world's most
powerful man...a single dramatic gesture will save the world."
 
  
  Another
      question left unresolved after the Arab scholar's two-hour press conference
  was whether John Brockman, 
  Nick Herbert's literary agent, will be responsible
  for also negotiating the intellectual property rights 
  of one of Doctor Herbert's
          alternate personalities.
  
  END
  
See also:
  A Nobel for Nick?
Nobel Acceptance Speech
  Stanford Grad Indicted for War Crimes
  First Quantum Human Sighted
  Jabir's Final Solution for Peace in Palestine
  Weapon X--the Ultimate Atrocity